26020663658
A long/unwieldly mirror of everything.
Areli Surana + Emma (human mage, not Amell) + others (polyamorous)
âYouâre not Andrastan,â said the zealot so cheerfully, âbut I see and appreciate your reverence. May Andraste bless you.â
She nodded gently to accept the blessing, but wondered why Kelli lingered. She had begun to suspect that her friendlinessâpossibly flirtingâhad maybe something to do withâ
âKelli, you're not.. doing this because Iâm an elf? are you?,â she felt foolish, exposed, uncertain... until the other apprentice's smile faltered.
In spite of this, she bravely stepped closer to the elf, who stared at the floor, watching the hem of her robes brushing the stone. Areliâs throat tightened. Kelli was also a mage, yes, but a zealot, dripping with piety and shame. She was passionate, beautiful, frightening, pitiable, intriguing, intense. A very weird girl.
âI donât know what you mean,â said Kelli, preposterously.
Sheâs waiting for the right moment to talk to me about Andraste, Areli thought with dread.
But then Kelli said something that surprised her, âYou always carry that same book,â her eyes on the leather-bound tome. âThe one with the faded sigil. You read it every time youâre here.â
âDid you know?, you and I,â Kelli paused dramatically, âare the only ones who come here to contemplate the same work. Mine is the Chant of Light, of course. But I wonder... what could possibly hold your attention so steadfastly?â
Areli felt bashful; This chapel was allegedly built a sanctuary, not for an interrogation. For a moment, it occurred to her to lie. She felt she could say anything and it would impress. The title in the faded sigil described Tevinter poetry she'd memorized. She could recite it, and this acolyte would receive the elven apprentice as a fellow pilgrim on a parallel path.
It would be mutual, romantic â two hyper-focused, obedient maidens from different worlds, acknowledging the other in soft respect. She imagined the acolyteâs gaze dissecting her, parsing every flicker of reluctance, every contrary impulse and reaction.
âDon't be shy. What could possibly inspire you to return, again and again, to the same pages?â Kelli repeated this invitation, leaning forward slightly more...Areli smelled lavender, dry starch of parchment, a bit of soot.
Her fingers tightened around the bookâs spine. She should have lied, of course.
But she opened the book, revealing a mix of pages, chunks of desperate texts, handwritten letters... a salacious assortment sewn amateurishly into binding that was meant to appear dull. She flipped briskly through these pages, processed her audience's reaction, and snapped it closed again... the plain binding now just so extra defiantly ordinary.
âI'm sorry,â Kelli was flustered, âThat's not what I expected.â
âYou wanted to know,â for one heartbeat, Areli returned the intensity of Kelliâs gaze at her. Then Kelli stepped back, her smile brittle, perhaps apologetic.
âI⊠I should go.â
Areli watched her leave, then opened the book again.
plus general polyamorous yearning, H/C
Emma recognized the Circle's organizational logic immediately. Familiar geometry imposed on hostile ground.
She stopped at the edge of the encampment, staff grounded, and watched mages she recognized move between tents. Faces from Kinloch Hold. Apprentices she'd eaten beside, argued with through pamphlets, deliberately avoided. She didn't try to cross the boundary. That would turn distance into spectacle.
But thenâ
âAh,â Wynne said pleasantly. âI donât believe weâve met.â
Emma had been turning away. She nearly walked straight into her.
Senior Enchanter Wynne stood with hands folded, expression composed into professional warmth. Her gaze passed over Emma with the careful disinterest one might show a stranger at market.
They had met. Multiple times. Wynne had supervised her practical examinations in the healing ward.
Emma felt the old, familiar sting: recognition without acknowledgment. Reality rewritten gently enough to pass for courtesy.
âSenior Enchanter,â Emma said. âI was in your lectures,â She did not add when, or for how long.
Wynne tilted her head, as though searching her memory. âHave you just arrived? The Grey Wardens keep such irregular hours.â Her tone was mild, conversational. âIâm sure weâll have time to become properly acquainted once things settle.â
âOf course.â Emma didn't correct her. The slight was deliberate, professional. She moved on before the conversation could become instruction.
As an unwilling conscript, she thought Duncan owed answers, but he dismissed her: âAlistair can help you with those.â
A watchman at the fortress entrance had proven more informative than the Warden-Commander. He'd pointed her north, explained which sections of camp belonged to recruits, which to the king's army, which to dignitaries.
âYou can't swing a dead cat without hitting somebody important,â he'd added cheerfully.
And so Emma now wandered the camp's northern section, trying to orient herself. Soldiers argued over rations and rotations. Armor clattered. The air smelled of iron, sweat, wet dogs and wetter earth.
She was still processing that when raised voices caught her attention. A mage in Circle robes stood bristling on the highway threshold, posture rigid with offense. Emma recognized him vaguelyâbureaucratic, punitive, somehow also libertarian. A walking contradiction she was mildly surprised they'd let out at all.
âWhat is it now?â the mage snapped. âHavenât the Grey Wardens asked more than enough of the Circle?â
âI simply came to deliver a message from the Revered Mother,â a young man in splintmail said, haltingly. âShe desires your presence.â
âWhat her Reverence desires is of no concern to me! I am busy aiding the Grey Wardensâby the kingâs orders, I might add!â
The mage's eyes glanced past the messenger dismissively. Then past Emma, less than dismissively. as if she weren't there at all.
âShould I have asked her to write a note?â the young man asked, with a bratlike mildness.
âTell her I will not be harassed in this manner!â
âYes. I was harassing you. By delivering a message.â
The mage huffed. âYour glibness does you no credit.â
âHere I thought we were getting along,â the messenger escalated. âI was even going to name one of my children after you. The grumpy one.â
âEnough! I will speak to the woman, if I must. Out of my way, fool!â
To his credit, the messenger seemed to know exactly how to end the conversation. He stepped aside with exaggerated courtesy, then turnedâand noticed Emma immediately. His expression cycled rapidly through surprise and something like cheer.
He was slightly tall, broad-shouldered, face young but already weathered. Sun-bleached copper hair had been mostly flattened by the helm tucked under his arm, but a single cowlick stood upright.
He said: âYou know... one good thing about the Blight is how it brings people together.â
âYou're quite odd.â Emma planted her staff on the stone, weight shifted to one hip.
âYouâre not the first to notice.â He tilted his head. âWe havenât met, have we? I donât suppose youâre another mage?â
âI am.â
He looked genuinely startled. âReally? You donât look like a mage.â
Emma's robes hung loose. She carried a staff nearly as tall as she was. Her silhouette was unmistakably that of a Circle mage.
âI meanâyou do,â he rushed. âObviously. I justââ He grimaced. âYou seem⊠normal. That came out wrong.â
âIt did.â
He rubbed the back of his neck. âWait. I do know who you are. I'm sorry... I should have recognized you immediately. You're Duncan's new recruit, from the Circle.â
âWhy would you recognize me?â
âDuncan sent word,â he said. âHe spoke quite highly of you.â
That explained a great deal.
âLet me try again.â He straightened slightly, attempting something like formality. âI'm Alistair. The new Grey Warden.â The emphasis on 'new' carried obvious pride, like a child showing off a scraped knee. âThough I guess you knew that... As a Junior member of the order. I'll be accompanying you when you prepare for the Joining.â
Emma: âThe Joining...Which Duncan refused to explain.â
âOh. Right. That.â He waved a hand. âNothing to worry about. Best not to think about it. Itâs⊠distracting.â He pivoted abruptly. âDid you know there've never been many women in the Grey Wardens? I wonder why that is.â
âWeâre too smart for you,â she said.
He blinked. âFair. But then, if youâre here, what does that make you?â
âIncredibly unlucky.â
âOuch.â He pressed a hand to his breastplate, in mock injury.
Alistair was alone, checking a shield strap when Emma approached.
âMorning,â he said without looking up. âSleep well?â
âWell enough.â She had rested. Sleep had not been part of the arrangement.
Emma dropped her pack beside him and crouched, pulling out two items without ceremony.
âI wanted to give you these before we head out.â
He straightened, curious despite himself. An apprentice's amulet. Plain copper, worn smooth at the edges, etched with a modest enchantment for elemental protection. And an ephemeralist's belt, the leather darkened with age, stamped by the Fomari. Its buckle nicked but solid. Tools, not trophies.
âThese are Circle issue,â he said carefully.
âThey were mine. But I won't use them.â
He turned the amulet over in his palm. His thumb brushed the Circle of Magi sigil, as if checking whether it would burn him.
âYou're giving me your gear.â
âYou'll need it.â
No sentiment. No explanation. Just an assessment. And an unspoken, correct assumption that he'd be first in marching order.
âRight,â he said after a moment. âVery practical.â
He threaded the belt on, tugged it snug, tested the weight. It fit. Of course it did. She wouldn't have offered it otherwise.
âThank you,â he added, quieter. âI mean that.â
She nodded once, already straightening. He noticed she didn't seem to want his gratitude. Just accepted the acknowledgment and moved on.
âDuncan wants us in the Wilds after breakfast,â Alistair said, fastening the amulet beneath his mail. âYou'll meet the other recruits then. Daveth and Jory. They're⊠well. You'll see.â
Then, casually, as if the thought had just occurred to herâand she weren't repeating a question he'd already refused to answer:
âAnd the Joining?â
He stilled. Was this a reason she had given him these things?
âSecret ritual,â she continued. One finger. âDarkspawn blood.â Another. âFormer templar oversight.â She met his eyes. âAny Circle-trained mage would call this suspicious.â
He exhaled through his nose.
âThen it's good you're not in the Circle anymore,â he said, attempting levity and missing by inches. âLook, Duncan wouldn'tâ he's not like that.â
âLike what?â
The question was neutral. Clinical. It wasn't an accusation. That was worse.
He shifted his weight, shield strap creaking. âHe's not reckless. He's a good man.â
âGood men can still do dangerous things,â Emma said. âEspecially when they deem it necessary.â
Alistair frowned, not offended so much as unsettled. âYou think this is blood magic.â
âI think it involves blood,â she said. âI think it's secret. There's no informed consent.â
âAnd you think I'd be concerned, because I was a templar.â
She didn't answer immediately. She watched him answer for her.
âIf that's what you're worried aboutâI'm here because I didn't want to spend my life chanting and hunting mages. Duncan⊠gave me a way out. He asked me to be here. And I trust him.â
âSo you're not opposed to forbidden magic.â
He let out a short, surprised laugh. âIs that what this is? An interview? Do you want to ask me about anything else, while you're at it?â
âA risk assessment.â
âCharming.â
âNecessary.â
He considered that, then nodded, reluctantly. âI spent years in that chantry, hopelessly resigned to my fate,â he said, more bluntly than before. âThey raised me. The grand cleric wouldn't have let me go if Duncan never forced the issue. I'll always be grateful.â
âHe needed a recruit,â she said.
âSure,â he said at once. Too fast. âBut he wanted to help. Duncan saw I wasn't happy, and figured my training against mages could double for fighting darkspawn.â
He planted his feet like something was about to be taken from him.
âThose things aren't mutually exclusive,â she said.
He went quiet. When he spoke again, his voice had lost its defensive edge.
âLook. I know it's scary. I was terrified. Still am, some days. But the Grey Wardens have fought Blights for centuries. They know what they're doing.â
âDo they?â
He met her eyes this time.
âI have to believe they do,â he said. âBecause if they don't, we're all fucked anyway.â
Emma scanned automatically: lines of sight, tree density, angles she could fire through. The Circle had trained her in practice halls within the tower's neat spiral geometry. This swamp had too much liquid motion, too much swaying brush. Her stomach churned. The staff at her back felt heavier with each breath.
Ahead, Alistair stomped across a fallen log, steel clanking like he wanted to be heard for miles.
The other Warden recruits lingered with her. Daveth's arrow was half-knocked, as if he meant to draw on the bugs. âMakerâs breath, are we doing this with him in charge?â
Jory whispered, not that quietly, âHe said heâs only killed one darkspawn.â
Emma stopped. The others nearly collided with her. Jory clipped her shoulder.
Alistair looked back, startled. Jory and Daveth exchanged glances.
âYou go first,â she said flatly to Jory, who scrambled over the log after Alistair. She followed. Daveth moved reluctantly, staring at the marsh ahead, tense on his bow.
Emma caught up to Alistair just as he tried conversation.
âIn the Circle, did anyone ever tell you you're veryââ He hesitated. âI was going to say 'intimidating,' but that soundsââ
âNo.â In the Circle, she'd been ordinary. Outside it, she was frightening by default. Everyone feared a mage. She'd always known this, but living it was strange, how the two recruits just... obeyed.
Alistair opened his mouth again, but froze. His hand shot up. His eyes were distant. Something moved in the fog. A wet, dragging growl. He pointed: âThey're moving parallel to us.â
Daveth squeaked, âFollowing us?â
Alistair: âNo. Passing.â His certainty was unnerving.
Jory's hand was already on his sword.
âJory, don't,â Emma said.
Daveth looked like he wanted to argue.
They waited.
The insect drone dimmed. Reeds bent without wind. Shapes drifted between treesâthree darkspawn, moving on warped joints, hunched as if tasting the air. One paused.
Emma's skin crawled.
Alistair's hand tightened on his sword hilt, but he didn't draw. She could smell sweat despite the cold.
The darkspawn kept moving. One by one, they vanished into fog.
Daveth let out a shaky exhale. Jory looked like he might vomit. Emma wasnât far behind.
The injured soldier was worse than she expected. Gut torn, intestines spilling through ruined armor. Already dead, just slow about it.
Where was the thing that inflicted this wound?
Bait. This was bait.
The dying soldier gurgled somethingâmaybe ârun.â
âMaker,â Jory whispered, stepping forward.
Emma grabbed his arm. âThere's more.â
âWhat?ââ
âThere's definitely more,â Alistair confirmed, shield already half-raised.
Then the darkspawn broke through the tree line. Four of them, one moving faster than the others. Emma cast instantly. Lightning crawled up the hurlock's legs, muscles spasming.
Alistair charged straight through the arc of her spell. Her breath caughtâbut his armor rang. She felt a ripple of displacement. Her lightning scattered across him. It felt wrong.
His shield slammed into the hurlockâs knee, buckling it. Sword through the throat. Brutal, clean.
A genlock beelined for Daveth. He parried well enough; Emma fried the creature a moment later.
âJory, LEFT!â Alistair shouted.
Jory spun too late. He screamed as a saw-like blade opened his shoulder. Emma pulled mana through herself like drawing water from a well. The wound clotted and sealed.
âStay up,â she snapped at him. âYou're fine.â
Jory looked at his shoulder, shocked that he was, in fact, fine. The last genlock charged Emma directly. Alistair interposed himself, it's sword scraping off his shield. He kicked it back.
Emma blew it apart. Sticky black meat rained on them.
Silence. Then the drone resumed, like nothing had happened.
Alistair leaned against a tree, panting. Emma moved to the now-actually-dead soldier first, then Jory. She applied a poultice without asking if he needed it.
She stopped in front of Alistair, watching him breathe. âWhatâs wrong with you?â
Alistair: âOh... lots of things. Anything in particular?â
âYou're bleeding.â
âAm I?â He looked down at himself, baffled, tired.
She pulled at his mail, checking the dented sections until she found padding underneath, crushed flat. Deep bruising. Internal bleeding.
âThere.â Emma pressed her palm flat against the metal plates at his side. He flinched.
âOh. Yes, apparently I am... HuhâI didn't evenââ
He felt an odd sensation of blood reabsorbing, swelling receding. Pressure subsided; the internal ache unwound itself.
Alistair: âThat's deeply unsettling. You do that very casually.â
âI don't have to.â
âNo, please do, I'm not really complaining or anything... Just maybe warn me, next time?â
Emma ignored him, inventorying her satchel. Down two healing potions, one antidote, and far too much lyrium. For an encounter maybe ninety seconds long.
âWe need to move,â Alistair said, now thinking more clearly. âMore could be coming.â
A raven shrieked somewhere in the canopy. Emma looked up, tracking it, but the bird was already gone.
âWhat was that?â Daveth whispered.
âWildlife,â Alistair said, unconvincingly.
Emma studied the trees. Didn't share her doubts.
âWe should space out,â she said, warily.
The bridge appeared like a trap someone forgot to bury: rickety, half-rotted, spanning a ditch of filthy water. Emma hated it on sight.
âSomething's wrong,â Alistair said quietly.
âWhat kind of wrong?â Daveth asked.
âThe... darkspawn kind?â He thought a moment. âA mage,â he said.
âA darkspawn mage?â Jory's voice cracked.
Fire cracked from the far side of the bridge. It flung toward them. Alistair threw himself forward to take the brunt. The spell hit his shield and scatteredâheating, blasting with soot, but not burning. The impact knocked him back. He hit the bridge with a steel-and-splinter crash.
Emma pushed forward, staff already lit. She could see the emissary nowâhunched, robed in filthy rags, hands glowing with hateful power.
âJORY, get BACK!â Alistair wheezed, pushing himself up.
Of course Jory did the opposite. He charged past the bridge.
Alistair sprinted after him. The bear trap stopped him, snapping shut on his leading leg with a wet crunch. Alistair screamed. Jory scrambled forward in blind panic. The emissary fired again, enveloping Jory in flame.
Daveth loosed arrows at distant archers.
âShoot the MAGE!â Emma begged him, as Alistair dragged himself free and hauled Jory back by the collar.
The emissary raised its staff for a killing blow. Emma hit it first: a crackling concussive blast that detonated in its face. The creature staggered, clutching its head, spell collapsing. Daveth finished it with an arrow.
Arrows rained on them, stillâEmma advanced through the volley, blasting fire to smash the archers backward for Daveth to pick them off. They shrieked terriblyâit was unlike anything human, animal, nor demon.
Alistair hauled Jory off the bridge, both of them collapsing on the bank. Emma yanked an arrow out of her own shoulder as the skin closed around the wound. Then she dropped beside them.
Joryâs burns were badâskin sloughing, blistering. Alistairâs leg was ruined, bent wrong, swelling fast. The fact heâd carried Jory was absurd.
âThe emissary was distracted,â Jory protested weakly as she repaired the burns, gritting her teeth at the cost. âI thoughtââ
âYou thought wrong,â Emma snapped at him, then turned to Alistair. She cracked his leg back into place with a brutal movement.
âOW.â He yelped, offended. âWhy didnât you warn me?!â
She leaned in just enough to be heard, voice low. âYou shouldâve let him run ahead.â
Jory still heard her. He went silent.
Alistair scowled, crossing his arms. âRight. No. Suddenly I understand you much better.â
Up in the canopy, a ravenâs silhouette watched them for a momentâgolden eyes brightâbefore vanishing into the mist.
They searched what remained of the ruined outpost, stone jutting from the marsh like broken teeth. A ramp led up to this platform, crumbling at the edges where the swamp had eaten through mortar and stone. Below them, partially submerged in yellow-green water, a domed structure peaked above the waterlineâsome other ruin, older, already claimed by the wilds and slowly sinking into them.
The architecture suggested Alamarri origin, when people built fortresses in impossible places and left them to rot when ambition exceeded maintenance. Everything here felt like an argument lost to time.
Emma crouched beside the shards of wood that had once been a chest, where documents should have been. The wood was dry. No mud, no water damage, no rot.
Which meant someone had shattered this recently.
Behind her, Alistair exhaled loudly. âGreat. That's just perfect.â
That's when her voice emerged from the fog, circling with the casual precision of a predator who'd already decided they weren't worth eating.
âWell, well. What have we here?â
Emma's pulse kicked up. She didn't believe it.
A witch.
The voice came from aboveâfrom ruins so structurally unsound that Emma wouldn't have trusted them to hold a cat. From a woman perched on a crumbling spandrel, perfectly balanced.
âAre you a vulture, I wonder? A scavenger poking through bones long since forgotten?â She descended, boots lined with buckles finding purchase on terrain with ease. The ruins waited to crumble until after she passed over them.
âOr merely an intruder come into these darkspawn-filled wilds of mine?â
Over her shoulders, a velvety hood hung open like a robe, barely covering her. And beneath thatâbare skin from collarbone to navel. No armor. No modesty. No apology.
And those intense golden eyesâthe kind Emma had seen in stalking creatures of these Wilds.
Emma stared, captivated by this apostate. An illegal mage.
Not because she was beautiful, though she wasâbut for the way she held herself. Confident. Bare but not vulnerable. What would it be like to move through the world so unburdened?
Never in Emma's wildest dreams did she imagine apostasy could be... like this. Like her.
Behind Emma, Daveth was slowly backing down the ramp, bow half-raised, eyes darting through the mist. Jory made a strangled noise, hunching entirely. Alistair went very quiet, stripped of his usual quipping.
âWhat say you, hmm?â The woman's voice was young but gravelly, low and amused all at once. âScavenger or intruder?â
Emma forced herself to focus on the witch's face, not the bare skin, nor the dozens of questions that occurred to her.
âNeither. Grey Wardens built this.â
â'Tis a tower no longer. The wilds have obviously claimed this desiccated corpse.â
Her inhumanly bright eyes never left Emma's. âI have watched your progress for some time. 'Where do they go,' I wondered. 'Why are they here?'â
Alistair recovered his indignance. âDon't answer her. She looks Chasind, and that means others may be nearby.â
The apostate raised her arms in a sarcastic performance: âYou fear barbarians will swoop down upon you?â
âYes,â Alistair confirmed. âSwooping is bad.â
âYou there.â She overlooked him. âWomen do not frighten like little boys. Tell me your name and I shall tell you mine.â
âEmma,â who inclined her head in greeting.
âNow that is a proper introduction, even here in the wilds.â A faint smile. âYou may call me Morrigan.â
âShall I guess your purpose?â Morrigan glanced at the shattered wood, then back to Emma. âYou sought something which is here no longer?â
â'Here no longer?'â Alistair's voice climbed. âYou stole them, didn't you? You're some kind of... sneaky... witch-thief!â
âHow very eloquent.â Morrigan's tone could have flash-frozen water. âHow does one steal from dead men?â
âQuite easily, it seems. Those documents are Grey Warden property, and I suggest you return them.â
âI will not, for 'twas not I who removed them.â Morrigan crossed her arms, utterly unbothered.
âWho did?â Emma asked.
â'Twas my mother, in fact.â
âYour mother?â Alistair repeated, clearly hoping heâd misheard. âNaturally. Why wouldnât she be.â
âYes, my mother. Did you assume I spawned from a log?â
âA thieving, weird-talking log, perhaps.â
Morrigan's smile sharpened. âNot all in the wilds are monsters. Flowers grow, as well as toads.â
Emma: âWould your mother talk to us?â
âThere is a sensible request.â Morrigan's expression warmed by perhaps half a degree. âI like you.â
âI'd be careful,â Alistair muttered. âFirst it's 'I like you,' but then it's 'zap!' Frog time.â
âIf you wish,â Morrigan continued, addressing Emma again, âI will take you to my mother. 'Tis not far from here, and you may ask her for your papers, if you like.â
âWe should get those treaties,â Alistair said quietly, stepping closer to Emma. âBut I dislike this. Her timing is far too convenient.â
His eyes kept darting to Morrigan's chest and away, like touching a hot stove repeatedly.
Emma looked back at Morrigan. âHow long have you been watching?â
Morrigan tilted her head, considering. âLong enough to know you are not the first to come seeking these wilds' secrets.â
âSheâll boil us,â Daveth whispered. âMark my words.â
âIf the potâs warmer than this forest,â Jory muttered, âIâll take it.â
Emma spoke to the boys, but looked at Morrigan. âLet's see where this goes.â
Morrigan's privately knowing smile returned. âFollow me, if it pleases you.â
Morrigan turned and walked into the forest without checking whether they followed. Only once did she glance back over her shoulder. Her eyes met Emmaâsâshining and curious.
The hut materialized out of the mist like something half-remembered from a fever dream. Twisted wood, smoke curling from a chimney that seemed structurally impossible, surrounded by gnarled trees that leaned in like gossips. The whole structure looked like it had grown rather than been built.
Morrigan stepped inside without knocking. âGreetings, Mother. I bring before you four Grey Wardens whoââ
Only Alistair was actually a Grey Warden. It felt odd.
âI see them, girl.â The old woman's voice came from within the hut. âMmm. Much as I expected.â
She emerged from the shadows. Tall, angular, draped in layered robes of nearly elegant decay.
âAre we supposed to believe you were expecting us?â Alistair asked with uneasy skepticism. âThatâs comforting.â
âYou are required to do nothing, least of all believe.â Flemeth's smile revealed too many teeth. âShut one's eyes tight or open one's arms wide... either way, one's a fool!â
âSheâs a witch,â Daveth hissed. âWe shouldn't be talking to her!â
âQuiet,â Jory snapped. âDo you want her to hear you?â
âOh, I hear everything,â Flemeth said. Her eyes slid to Emmaâgolden like her daughterâs, but cold. âAnd what of you? What do you believe?â
âNot sure yet.â
âA statement that possesses more wisdom than it implies.â Flemeth laughed, delighted. âBe always aware... or is it oblivious? I can never remember.â
âSo much about you is uncertain... and yet I believe. Do I? Why, it seems I do!â
âSo this is the dreaded Witch of the Wilds?â Alistair's eyes were bright. Mischievous.
âWitch of the Wilds, eh? Morrigan must have told you that.â Flemeth's laugher persisted, like wind through dead trees. âShe fancies such tales, though she would never admit it! Oh, how she dances under the moon!â
âThey did not come to listen to your wild tales, Mother.â Morrigan's voice carried the mundane irritation of a daughter who'd heard this before.
âTrue, they came for their treaties, yes? And before you begin barking, your precious seal wore off long ago. I have protected these.â
âYou... oh.â Alistair blinked. âYou protected them?â
âAnd why not? Take them to your Grey Wardens and tell them this Blight's threat is greater than they realize!â
âI'm sure they'll be eager to act on that advice,â Alistair said flatly.
Emma accepted the leather case Flemeth offered. Checked the sealâintact, recently applied. The documents inside shifted with the particular weight of vellum, not parchment. Expensive. Important.
âIt's appreciated,â Emma said.
âSuch manners! Now. You have what you came for. Morrigan, girl. These are your guests. See them out.â
âOh, very well.â Morrigan sighed. âFollow me.â
Emma tucked the treaties carefully into her pack and followed Morrigan back into the mist, aware of Flemeth's eyes on them until the hut disappeared from view.
The other two warriors dragged their feet in flank behind Alistair, their armors and weapons also soiled, but his shield had clearly taken the brunt of this tower crawl. Layers of bloody soot and tainted blood, oozing thick like tar, streaked its once shining insignia beyond recognition.
The two Wardens and the men with them were about to turn a cornerâ literally. Soft vibrations from Emmaâs healing magic lingered in the air, faintly echoing Alistairâs vascular flutter. Without thinking, she stopped behind his defensive stance.
The archer, a wiry man named Leif, pivoted the corner and immediately fumbled his knock. Emma watched one of their good arrows get lost in the dark.
She thought of Joryâs faceâstill too young, far too trusting. Daveth, whoâd known better but grinned anyway, with nothing left to lose. Both dead now. The Joining took them hours ago, though it felt like days.
To her relief, Alistair held back, letting Rorikâthe stouter of the two soldiersâlaunch first at the darkspawn ahead. Un-reliefâ the carnivorous noises of the provoked spawn sounded like a very large patrol.
Emma volleyed a crackling orb of entropic energy into the unfolding skirmish, the spell detonating in a burst of sickly violet light. Five shrieking genlocks scattered to ash. The risky explosion singed Rorikâs pauldron, but he rallied with a grunt.
Complacent with their momentary victory, Rorik surged forwardâtoo farâand took a darkspawn bolt to the ribs from the line of crossbowman. He doubled over with a wet gasp. Healing magic cost more than what it would take to kill those things. If they could only reach them.
Leif loosed another arrow with shaky hands. It soared through the plume of dust and smoke choking the narrow corridor, disappearing uselessly into the dark.
âHold!â Emma barked, but the soldiers were already leaning forward, eager to charge.
Alistair shifted laterally, his shield angling to block their advance while still covering the ranged threats ahead. The soldiers scrambled back to utilize the ballistae, instead.
She realized, dimly, that sheâd moved without thinkingâtwo steps back and left, aligning her sight-line through the narrowest span of corridor where all five of them remained visible, optimizing coverage as if she were in the Circleâs dueling hall. Her awareness of the menâs movements became geometric: angles, intersections, trajectories.
He watched her hands flicker; Alistair didnât need to look to understand. The Circle taught mages to command space. The Chantry taught its Templars to deny it. His training drilled this, and its counter, into him. They were a rare pair, with both angles a part of the same front. They stood some chance, he thought, watching her shoulders rolling along this living diagramâ itself shifting.
âLeif, left flank!â as they reloaded. âAlistair, hold centerââ
He finished a hurlock from the center, already pivoting his shield as another lumbered into view. Emmaâs staff pulsed with gathering energy, frost crystallizing along its length. She calculated angles, mana reserves, the distance between Alistair and the hurlock, the soldiersâ positions relative. The hurlock charged.
Alistair braced, shield raised, preparing to absorb the charge. But something was off, one tick. Emma saw his weight shift forward, saw him commit to a defensive stance that would leave him vulnerable to the follow-throughâ
Wait. Wait.
âGET DOWN!â
He dropped into a crouch instantly, training overriding everything. Emmaâs spell crackled overhead, a lance of winter that caught the hurlock mid-stride and froze it solid. Alistair surged upward, slamming into the crystallized monster, shattering it like glass. For a heartbeat, they stared at each otherâher body still ringing on the dissipating threat, him still braced for impact that never came.
âCouldâve warned me sooner,â he muttered, but there was something in his voice that wasnât quite complaint.
âCouldâve trusted my timing,â she shot back.
So they climbed. Then he felt itâthe real ambush, from below. The floor trembled with the massing horde. The darkspawn had been tunneling, ascending unseen. The whole tower was becoming a trap.
âWe have to go up.â Toward the beacon. Same as ever. âBut there's too many! Maker's breath, what are these darkspawn doing ahead of the rest of the horde? There wasn't supposed to be any resistance here.â
âThey're in the wrong place. We're supposed to defend from the top, down,â said Emma.
âRight, because clearly this is all just a misunderstanding. Weâll laugh about this later,â he replied, annoyed.
But their upward offense went well, considering. Their rhythm was devastating: electricity and steel, defense and strike. It still seemed possible they would reach the beacon, call the reinforcements, and win the battle.
The stairwell emptied into the upper hall, a ruin of splintered beams and broken statuary. The darkspawn had stopped coming. The silence, nothing patrolling, seemed worse. Alistair froze mid-step; She stopped in his shadow. The floor heaved, sifting a soft, oily rain from the ceiling.
âThatâs not good,â he said.
Emma stepped back.
An ogre met them, defending the beacon: twelve feet of muscle, horns alone more than their reach, dark veins pulsing under ash-grey hide. Their entrance had interrupted its mealâsomething gnawed past recognition. It looked at them, chewing resentfully.
Alistair: âI think it knows we're here.â
The ogre dropped the corpse, beat its massive chest and roared, spitting at them. The sound slushed through all layers, vibrating into the marrow. Everything Emma had been trackingâsupplies, maneuvers, spell rotationsâdropped right out of her head, replaced by the high ringing of panic.
Emma didnât move. Hesitation rooted her in place.
Alistair quickly employed the same strategy against this giant that he'd used against man-sized darkspawn. He drew its attention, taunting it away from the others.
Emma's staff snapped up instinctively, light coiling around her fingers. Off-beat rumbles from the battle told her: no point in running. Holding the top was their best shot. And yetâRorik and Leif were shaking at the flanks.
âGo!â she screamed at them, as much as herself.
The ogre swung its club-arm in a wide arc. Alistair moved to block, bracing into the blow. The impact slammed him back several feet, boots carving grooves through grit. He was faster, but this thing was three times his size, with more times his reach. It was a grotesque siege engine. How many of those blocks did he have in him?
Emma anchored her staff with one hand and thrust the other forward. Frost and lightning spiraled together, white vapor snapped across the ogreâs hide. It staggered, and their tank dodged the next swing.
He pivoted shield-first, the impact a dull clang, like metal on tree bark. The ogre countered low, its massive hand closing around himâplate creaking as it plucked him off the ground like a toy.
Alistair rammed his sword upward into its wrist. The blade sank to the hilt, black blood spilling over his arm. He wrenched it free as the ogre howled and hurled him against the wall with agonizing force. Monster, men, and stoneâa stacked pylon, all screaming.
The mana ripped right out of her. She had never healed so instantly, so thoughtlessly, at this distance. She drank lyrium like water to compensate. Stone cracked and resettled. Blight soaked into new layers. More debris rained from above.
She did not know of the other soldiers, anymore. As she'd warned him, she had to choose. The domed ceiling pulsed magic back at her, healing bruises she didn't know she had. It felt like hers, but also strange. Alistair was cursing.
The ogre charged again. The tower trembled. Emma drove her staff down, pulling from veins in the wallsâthe blue lines under the stone flared alive. The air sharpened with power. Runes erupted under the ogreâs feet. It stumbled, slowed, but brute-forced through, claws scratching, stone vibrating. For the first time in her life, Emma found herself at the top of a structure, uncertain it could hold.
Emma raised her staff with both hands, weight driving through her shoulders. Fire answered her scream. The ogre's hide ignited, molten cracks racing across it. The blast caught them both in its radiusâAlistair following the ogre, negating the brunt of her blast that licked him, armor still flaring with heat.
âHow many of those do you have left?â He called. Most of the ground was now ablaze.
âNot many.â
âRight.â He slid between the ogre's legs, disappearing into smoke. It stumbled around, almost aimlessly. Turning its back toward her, she realized Alistair was climbing it, pulling himself up by his sword embedded in its back, bracing to plunge it deeper. Great globs of ichor hit the floorâhe had wounded it dearly. It thrashed, trying to throw him off.
She risked another castâ a simple arcane boltâsnapping its head back cracking the ogreâs jaw sideways. Teeth flew. That got its attention. The ogre turned on her. She had seconds.
It charged, faster than it had any right. She dove. It missed, but she hit the stone, dizzied by the crack of her skull. She curled in on herself while the blighted creature rattled her, smacking the floor with massive hands. Her staff was lost, fingers burning, struggling to shape another spell.
She forced herself to breathe, exerting the pressure outward into a ripple of magic, sealing wounds, knitting herself back together, unsticking armor from unburnt flesh. There had never been so much lyrium running through her, but it was gone in an instant.
The ogre lunged again, grabbing at her, its elbow knocking Alistair back mid-swing. He was getting slower, she thought, as it lifted her from the ground. The sound of her own ribs popping, the lag of agonizing painâ clued her into her own loss of time.
What had she kept thinking, what got her through the Wilds, through this unlikely upward offense? Darkspawn die, just like any other creature. Emma was also dying now, just like any other creature.
She heard Alistair taunting it, beyond comprehending words. Its grip loosened. She gasped. Air in her lungs snapped her lost time back onto her in painful frenzy. She hit the floor with more splash than thud. She clawed at her satchel, hoping her last lyrium potion was less crushed than herself. It was not. Her fingers curled around shards, absorbing residue through her skin, from mist in the air, as she'd done from the tower's veins.
Blood rushed back to her head, but she could barely see. It hadn't merely been her injuries; smoke was choking her out. She was aware of a boot skidding past, metal sparking on stone. Backwards. She focused on sounds. Alistair, screaming, backed against a wall, pleading for help. She heard her name.
Crawling as the tower rumbled, somehow she'd found her staff with her knees, and twisted it toward the clamor. Frost crept up the entirety of the ogre, freezing it in place. Alistair dropped like a sack of steel. His cries silenced. She called for him unsteadily, then scooted herself under the frozen ogre, terrified.
Thenâan agonized pitch, gasping: âHereâI'm hereâshitââ
Emma pushed her hands forward into darkness, fingers grasping around a helm knocked askew, then a pile of metal and bone in a sticky puddle, breathing pitifully under the sound of ice breaking above them.
âGet up.â She poured into him what she had, because... she was too slow to make their last stand, she realized grimly, fear tying her stomach into knots. No more potions. It, or them, would die within a minute. He sat up, wheezing. She quickly dropped the helm back over his face. He grabbed her, rolling them out of the way of a swinging club.
Head pounding, knocked onto her side, Emma looked up over Alistair's pauldron: They'd escaped a killing blow that had embedded the club into stone. The ogre pulled at it uselessly, distractedâAlistair's sword still in it, dripping, smoldering, hissing.
âStay back.â His voice was soft, hoarse, as he strapped the shield to his gauntlet. âGet the beacon, if you can.â He stood, swordless.
The ogre turned, preparing to charge, but Alistair was already launching. Emma felt aroundâthe air, the sticky puddles on the ground, looking for anything but bloodâas Alistair feinted, dodged, swung himself around its shoulders by the hilt lodged in its back.
Emma dragged herself up the wall, staff with her, as he brought the blunt of his shield onto its head. It stumbled, scooping gore from its face, as Alistair bashed again and again. Finally it smacked him off, disoriented, staggering toward her, then fell forward, reaching, screeching ruefully, half its face missing.
Emma didnât think. She lunged and drove the end of her staff through the hole in its head, silencing it. Then slid back down the wall to the floor.
âWe missed the signal,â the other Warden mumbled weakly, pushing himself up, limping toward her. âCan youâ?â He pushed the end of a torch before her, but she was falling apart, shaking, having so little to draw on she'd coveted the blood soaking her knees. A breeze blew through crumbling stone, carrying a deathly smell.
âEmma.â She looked up. Nodded. Gripped the end of her staff still wedged at an angle inside the ogreâs skull. Just a spark felt like everything. It was a good positionâbut how long could they keep a barricade and hold it like this? The pile of wood caught the blaze, lighting the valley of Ostagar below. The tower shook.
âWe have toââ Emma tried to stand, slipping on ichor.
His urgency lost, he looked around, noting at last the corpses of the two soldiers who'd come with them.
âI'm sorry,â she said, as he pulled his sword out from under the ogre's carcass.
âNo, don'tââ He wiped a layer of gore from his face. âDon't be sorry, really. We tried. Thanks for⊠um, this.â Then he pulled at the staffâblunt wood now fully wedged into skullâand drew it out with a sickening creak.
âAlistair,â she started, âif we barricade the landing, we canâââNo.â He cut her off. He shook his head, gaze unfocused. He pointed down.
Emma turned toward the stairwell. âWhy? The entry is narrow. Weâll choke them.â
âYou can hear it, below. In the tunnels. Theyâll be moving up. Just like we did.â He swallowed. âThe swarm cut us off from the valley flank...from the battle. Weâre isolated.â
âWe have the heightââ
âThere's... there's a lot of them. A lot.â
Emma looked back at him. âYou donât know that.â
He almost smiled at thatâtired, bitter. He felt it in his blood. It would happen to her, too. If she survived. But she couldn't know, not yet. He had to persuade her.
âI wish I didnât. I know how how it sounds... preposterous. Please, please believe me.â
The tower gave another low groan, rattling her gently. She crossed her arms. âIf I did,â giving him the benefit of the doubt, âholding is our only option.â
His eyes went to the window slitâa jagged wound in the wall, wind tearing through it. Beyond, the cliff dropped into fog and stone.
âNo,â he said again. âIt's really not. We can jump.â
âJump? Onto the rocks? No.â
âItâs not a good plan, but itâs the only one I got.â
âYou think: we're not holding a fortress we just captured. But we will survive the drop.â
He hesitated. âNo. And no. But what if... We could just jump, anyway.â
âWhy?â
âBecause itâs the only direction left,â he urged her. It almost made sense, although the risk analysis did not.
âPlease, Emma. Iâd rather take this chance. But... if you'd rather hold... it's your call. I'll do it.â
âYouâre really sure about this?â she asked, as if she were actually considering it. He reached into his belt pouch, pulling a small cracked vialâlyrium dust, glittering faintly blue.
âI'm so serious. Here, Emma, I... I just looted this. Maybe you can soften our landing?â
âThatâs powder. Disgusting.â
âOh well, in that case, just forget it,â he said flippantly, tapping his boot on the floor. He was taut, like a hound catching scent. If they were facing an enemy, she would have easily stepped behind him.
âEmma, they're comingââ
âI hear youââ
âNo, now. I can feel them. Scouts, likeâ a dozen, two dozenâ fast-moving. And below...â There was that pitch in his voice, again. She stared at him, then out the window, then back.
âI... I can't soften that drop.â
âBut you can try. Please. We need to go now.â
The tower shuddered, its weight shifting below. He was already at the window, one boot on the sill, beckoning with that vial.
âFine.â She snatched it from him, uncorked, and snorted the powder in one bitter inhale. Her face twisted immediately. âOhâthat's vileââ
She turned, staff in hand, mana crawling down her neck, her arms, in blue threads. The darkspawn burst through the doorway. Scouts, lean and fast, arrows already knocked. As the first one loosed, she bolted after Alistair, at their point of egress. She saw fletching blur past. Felt an impact in her shoulder.
Another arrow punched through her side. Emma staggered, gasping. Alistair was already throwing himself between her and the doorway. Arrows clattered off his shieldâhe grabbed her with his free arm, hauling her against his chest, her blood spilling over his gauntlet.
âHold onââ She did. He jumped.
Time slowed. The cliff face blurred past, through the fog and the distant roar of battle below. Alistair felt darkspawn surrounding the tower, climbing the walls like ants covering something sweet and sticky on the ground. He ducked his head down, curling around her, shield angled to protect herâKnowing she was one head-bonk away from them losing their slim chance for her to magic them out of this. Somehow.
She felt herself clamped firmly to his breastplate, running slick with her blood. Frost flared wildly from her fingertips into sheets of ice, dragging down their speed. Layers shattered, blasting them with cold. The ice falling around them created a numbing and violent isolation from the battle roaring in the valley below.
They were falling within in a giant snowball. The world became only cold and impact and cold and impactâ She couldn't keep casting and holding onto him, both. Her grip slipped. The mana drained.
The last thing Alistair remembered: hitting something dark and yielding, Emma wrenched away from him by the impactâ
And feathers?
Outside, Alistair sat hunched against the hut's wall. His fingers worked anxiously at his ring, muscle memory of chanter's beads. He thought of her in the Tower of Ishal, eyes far away as fire spread from her hands. Maker, don't let her die in there. Not her too.
âShe walks the Fade even now,â was what Morrigan told him.
As Emma walked the fade, cliffs were breaking loose from mountains, cascading tides of mud. Muddy waters spiraled and pulled her undertow. Her lungs convulsed against the murk, but her head and limbs were just heavy.
She endured nightmares of these waters her entire residence at Kinloch Hold. Through the surface she glimpsed the Circle Tower, then Ishal's spires against the sky, lit by lightning. In silhouette, dark wings unfurled feathers over the horizon, thunder rolling in their wake.
The light above dimmed. From somewhere distant, she was treated to a memory of Areli's laugh, quick and soft, the way it came through her nose when she was trying not to be noticed. Her curls of red hair across an open book, their hands pressed together on a single page.
All I ever wanted was to sleep in with youâ
Slender brown fingers tied knots one by one, deft and certain. Another's hands, paler, broader, rougher, untied them. The woman sang, her melody rattled in Emma's chest. She reached for it desperately, but it writhed away from her, plunging into darkness. She grasped after it numbly, fingers upon fingers digging in a frenzy, shredding nails and skin to bloody bone.
Something vast inside the earth called to her, called to all of them, screaming and yearning in terrible accord, layered up upon itself in density, then erupted through the soil. The horde spilled over Ostagar like liquid tar, and the great fortress looked suddenly, impossibly small.
She did not want to be taken alive by the darkspawn. Ready to drown in this lake instead. Waiting. Drifting toward that distant shore.
Then she woke quietly, strangely calm. When she opened her eyes, Morrigan's golden gaze met hers.
âAh, your eyes finally open,â Morrigan said. âMother shall be pleased.âEmmaâs throat burned when she tried to speak. âWhereâŠ?â
âBack in the Wilds, of course.â Morrigan set aside a blood-stained cloth. âI am Morrigan, lest you have forgotten. You are welcome, by the way, as I have bandaged your wounds. How does your memory fare? Do you remember mother's rescue?â
âShe rescued me?â Emma shifted, immediately regretted it. The hut tilted. âFrom the tower?â
âMy mother managed to save you and your friend, though 'twas a close call. What is important is that you both live. The man meant to respond to your signal quit the field. The darkspawn won your battle. Those he abandoned were massacred.â
The words stacked, one after another, with no pause between them. Emma stared at the low rafters.
âYour friend...â Morrigan continued, watching her. âHe is not taking it well.â
âMy friend?â Emma quickly inquired. âYou mean Alistair?â
Morrigan smiled, slightly. âThe suspicious, dim-witted one who was with you before?â
Emma turned her head toward the small window. Firelight flickered outside. A shape moved beyond it, indistinct, armored. She couldnât tell who it was.
âThat doesnât narrow it down.â
âYes. Alistair.â Morriganâs voice softened by the smallest degree. âHe is outside by the fire. Mother asked to see you when you awoke.â
Emma closed her eyes for a moment. When she opened them again, she focused on Morrigan.
âWere my injuries severe?â
âYes. But I expect you shall be fine. The darkspawn did nothing Mother could not heal.â
âWhat about Alistair?â
âHe is⊠as you are.â Morrigan paused. âI suppose it would be unkind to say he is being childish.â
Emma swung her legs over the side of the bedroll, testing her weight. Everything ached, but held. She stood, steadying herself against the wall.
âAre we safe here? Where are the darkspawn?â
âWe are safe, for the moment. Motherâs magic keeps the darkspawn away.â Morrigan gathered her things, preparing to hand them over. âOnce you leave, âtis uncertain what will happen. The horde has moved on. You might avoid it.â
âHow did she manage to rescue us?â
âShe turned into a giant bird and plucked the two of you from atop the tower, one in each talon.â Morrigan did not smile. âIf you do not believe that tale, then I suggest you ask Mother herself.â
She struggled to remember their battle at Ishal. But she knew their offense direction had been upward, and doubted they had been rescued from its top.
Emma looked out the window again. Alistair's figure by the fire circled, restless.
âMother is outside, come now, end your questioning.â Morrigan said.
Cold air bit immediately when Emma stepped out of the hut. The clearing was quiet except for the fire and the soft clink of armor. Flemeth stood near the flames, her posture effortless, casual. Alistair paced like a caged creature.
âSee?â Flemeth said as Emma approached. âHere is your fellow Grey Warden. You worry too much, young man.â
He spun. His face went through several contradictory expressions at onceârelief, disbelief, etcetera. âEmma!... you're alive,â his voice was fraught. âI thought you were dead for sure.â
âMe too. but I'm fine,â Emma said. The words felt provisional.
âThis doesn't seem real.â He took a half-step toward her, then stopped. âIf it weren't for Morrigan's mother, we'd be dead.â
âDo not talk about me as if I am not present, lad,â The elder witch said, dryly.
Alistair flushed. âI didnât meanâ I meanâ what do we call you? You never told us your name.â
âThe Chasind folk call me Flemeth. I suppose it will do.â
âThe Flemeth? From the legends?â Alistair's eyes narrowed. âDaveth was rightâyou're the Witch of the Wilds.â
âAnd what does that mean?â Flemeth asked. âI know a bit of magic. It has served you both well, has it not?â
âWhy did you save us?â Emma asked.
âWell, we cannot have all the Grey Wardens dying at once, can we?â Flemeth gestured between them. âIt has always been the Grey Wardensâ duty to unite the lands against the Blight. Or did that change when I wasnât looking?â
âIt changed when most of them were slaughtered,â Emma said.
Flemeth: âIf you think small numbers make you helpless, you are already defeated.â
âYes,â Emma reminded her: âWe were defeated. At Ostagar.â
âWe were fighting them,â Alistair faced Flemeth, voice rising. âThe king had nearly defeated them. Why would Loghain do this?!â
âMenâs hearts hold shadows darker than any tainted creature,â Flemeth said. âPerhaps he does not see the evil behind the Blight is the true threat.â
âThe Archdemon,â Alistair said.
Emma: âAlistair is the real Grey Warden here. Not me.â
He turned on her. âIâve lost everyone. All Grey Wardens in Ferelden are gone except for us. For the love of the Maker, donât back out on me now!â
Emma stepped back from him: âSo I should take on a suicide mission?â
âOh?â Flemeth laughed softly. âIt must be suicide, now? My.â
âI wonât let Duncan's death be in vain,â Alistair insisted forcefully, then softer: âPlease, Emma... I canât do this alone.â
âWill you help us fight this Blight?â Emma asked Flemeth; She couldn't look away from him.
âMe?â Flemeth spread her hands. âI am just an old woman who lives in the Wilds. I know nothing of Blights and darkspawn.â
She noted the lie and said nothing.
âWhatever Loghain thinks,â Alistair said, pressing on, âheâs wrong. He betrayed his own king. We have to warn people.â
âAnd who will believe you?â Flemeth asked.
âI suppose...â Alistair paused. âArl Eamon wasn't at Ostagar. He still has all his men. And he was Cailan's uncle. I know him. He's a good man, respected in the Landsmeet. Of course! We could go to Redcliffe and appeal to him for help!â
Emma: âYou think the Arl would believe us? Over the teyrn?â
âIf Arl Eamon knew what he did at Ostagar, he would be the first to call for his execution!â
âSure,â Emma said. âLike Loghain was an honorable man.â
âThe Arl would never do what Teyrn Loghain did.â Alistair's certainty in the Arl pained her. âbut...I don't know if his help would be enough.â
âWe need the rest of the Grey Wardens,â Emma said.
Alistair: âI don't know how to contact them. We need to do something now.â
âYou have more at your disposal than you think.â Flemeth's voice cut through their spiral.
Alistair stopped mid-pace. âOf course! The treaties! Grey Wardens can demand aid from dwarves, elves, magesâ!â
âI may be old,â Flemeth said, âbut this sounds like an army to me.â
âSo can we do this?â Alistair asked finally. âBuild an army?â
âI doubt it will be that simple,â Emma said.
âAnd when is it ever?â Flemeth replied.
âIâd be happy with staying alive,â Emma said.
âThat would be nice,â said Alistair.
âWell, do not expect me to do everything,â Flemeth said. âThere is one more thing I can offer you.â
âThe stew is bubbling,â Morrigan said, emerging from the hut. âShall we have guests?â
âThe Grey Wardens are leaving,â Flemeth said. âAnd you will be joining them.â
Morrigan froze. âSuch a shameâwhat?â
âYou heard me, girl. The last time I looked, you had ears!â
Alistair's expression suggested he was reconsidering the benefits of being dead.
âThanks,â Emma said carefully, âbut if Morrigan doesn't want to join us...â
Flemeth: âHer magic will be useful. Even better, she knows the Wilds and how to get past the horde.â
âHave I no say in this?â Morrigan's voice was tight.
âYou have been itching to get out of the wilds for years. Here is your chance.â Flemeth's tone left no room for argument. âAs for you, Wardens, consider this repayment for your lives.â
Emma weighed the offer. âWeâll take her.â
âWonât this add to our problems?â Alistair asked. âOut there, sheâs an apostate.â
âIf you do not wish help from illegal mages,â Flemeth said, âperhaps I should have left you on that tower.â
âPoint taken.â
âMother, this is not how I wanted this.â Morrigan's composure cracked slightly. âI am not even readyââ
âYou must be ready. Alone, these two must unite Ferelden against the darkspawn. Without you, they will surely fail, and all will perish under the Blight. Even I.â
Morrigan went still. Something passed between mother and daughterârecognition, perhaps, or resignation. âI... understand.â
âAnd you, Wardens.â Flemeth looked at them both. âDo you understand? I give you that which I value above all in this world. I do this because you must succeed.â
Emma met her eyes. Another lie?
Emma: âI understand.â
âAllow me to get my things, if you please.â Morrigan disappeared back into the hut.
They stood in uncomfortable silence until she returned, pack slung over her shoulder. âI am at your disposal, Grey Wardens. I suggest a village north of the Wilds as our first destination. Or, if you prefer, I shall simply be your silent guide.â
âI prefer you to speak your mind,â Emma said.
Alistair evaluated their new addition. âCan you cook?â he asked.
Morrigan put a hand on her hip, eyes narrowed. âI... can cook, yes.â
Emma: âThen you can replace Alistair.â
âRight.â Alistair's voice was flat. âMy cooking will kill us. That's all I meant.â
Morrigan looked faintly disgusted.
She closed her eyes briefly. Fire. Smoke. The tower. Alistairâs face when heâd thought she was dead. Then she opened them again.
Morrigan guided them, stepping lightly, unbothered by the sucking mud, her cloak never quite touching the ground. The Wilds thinned reluctantly. Trees spaced themselves out. The air lightened by degrees, as if the blighted world had decided to tolerate them a few hours longer. Maybe a day.
âWell,â Alistair said, apropos of nothing, âthat was⊠quite the introduction to the Grey Wardens.â
Emma didn't respond, but he was bored, and felt chatty: âThe Joining, I mean. And then Ostagar. Not exactly what you signed up for.â
âI didnât sign up for anything,â Emma said, curtly.
He winced. âRight. Duncan conscripted you. I⊠forgot. How do you forget that?â
âLikely while trying not to die in a tower full of darkspawn.â
âYes...That's a very plausible theory.â
They walked in silence for a few more steps. Morrigan spoke of a path narrowing, but it was not a path the Wardens understood. Brushes tangled them, slowing them down. Somewhere, something splashed.
Emma looked after the splashing warily, speaking without looking at him.
âHow did you become a Grey Warden?â
âSame way you did. You drink some blood, you choke on it, you pass out. You havenât forgotten already, have you?â
âThat wasnât what I asked.â
That made him pause. âYou get this look when youâre irritated,â he said, attempting levity like one attempts a careful dismount. âLike youâre calculating exactly which spell would cause the most damage without technically killing me.â
âIâm still deciding.â
He wasn't entirely sure she was joking. But he grinned, a little too fast. âRight. Well. I was in the Chantry before. Trained for years to become a templar. Thatâs where I learned most of my skills.â
âYou donât seem very religious,â she said; As if she'd said worse to people she liked more.
âOh, I know,â he said readily. âI was banished to the kitchens to scour pots more times than I can count. And thatâs a lot. I can count pretty high.â
âThe Grand Cleric didnât want to let me go,â he went on. âDuncan had to conscript me, actually.â
Emma stopped walking. She looked at him then. âHe conscripted you? I thoughtââ
âThat I wanted it?â He nodded. âI did. Desperately. But she wouldnât release me. When Duncan invoked the Right of Conscription, I thought sheâd have us both arrested.â
His voice dipped, not dramatic, just quieter. âI was so lucky.â
âLucky?â
âWhen he came looking for recruits,â Alistair said, âI remember praying to the Maker that heâd pick me. I wouldâve done anything to get out of there. And he chose me. Out of all the templar initiates. Some of them were brilliant fighters. Real prodigies.â
âDo you think it was pity?â Emma asked, carefully.
He frowned, considering. âI donât know. Maybe. Iâd like to think he saw something in me. That it wasnât justâŠâ He trailed off, then tried again. âIâll always be thankful to Duncan for recruiting me. If it hadnât been for him, I would neverââ
He paused; It was a heavy pause. Empty. And tried to continue:
âI wouldnât haveâŠâ He stopped entirely.
They stood there. Morrigan did not turn around.
Emma watched him. His shoulders had gone rigid, like he was bracing for impact that wasnât coming.
She reached out, before she thoughtâ But her fingers met cold armor. Of course.
She pulled her hand back before he could notice.
What were you supposed to do? Pat iron? Knock politely?
Alistair inhaled sharply and straightened, already retreating. âIâm sorry. I shouldnât beâ Itâs fine. He died a hero. They all did. Thatâs what matters.â He stomped forward, armor clanking, conversation sealed off, barred from the inside.
âCome on. Letâs go. I think Iâm done talking.â
Emma followed.
âDo you want to talk?â she paused, adjusted. âAbout Duncan?â
He didn't look at her. âYou don't have to do that. I know you didn't know him as long as I did.â
âNo. I didn't.â
Emma didn't withdraw. Didn't argue. Sat there, waiting. The silence stretched, tense.
Alistair glanced at her sidelong, checking whether she was still there. She was.
âBut I know what he meant to you,â she added, finally.
His shoulders dropped slightly. He picked up his cup, wrapped both hands around it. It was warm. He focused on that.
âThat's...â He finally looked at her, surprised. âYou didn't like him much, did you?â
âI... don't know. As you said, I didn't know him.â
âBut you didn't want to be conscripted.â
âNo.â Emma leaned back against a log, casually sipping her own cup. He could smell it. Hers was very strong.
âI... should have handled it better.â The words came out rehearsed, like heâd been arguing with himself all afternoon and finally lost. âDuncan warned me right from the beginning that this could happen. Any of us could die in battle. I shouldn't have lost it, not when so much is riding on us, not with the Blight and... everything.â
âYou lost a lot. Grief happens.â
Here she was, with the tea, speaking in terms of cause and effect. Or inevitability. And she wasnât wrong.
âIt just feels like Iâm wasting energy,â he said. âLike every moment I spendââ His voice broke, sharp and sudden. He stared into the fire, learning forward, furious at himself for it. âHe deserved better. A proper funeral. But thereâs nothing left to bury.â
âThere can be a memorial, someday. If we survive.â
He latched onto that immediately. âIâd like that.â He fidgeted with the cup, took a sip he didnât need. âHe didnât have any family to speak of.â
âHe had you.â
It hit him harder than she intended. His voice went very small.
âPart of me wishes I was with him. In the battle. I feel like I abandoned him.â
âYou'd just be dead.â
He almost laughed. Almost. âI know.â Exhaustion smoothed the edge in his voice. âThatâs the stupid part, isnât it? That wouldnât make him happier. It wouldnât help anyone.â
âHave youââ He hesitated, then pushed through. ââhad someone close to you die? Not that I mean to pry, I'm just...â
He turned toward her fully. The firelight caught the red rims of his eyes. Emma's eyes were dark and steady beneath strong brows. They usually gave him very little, beyond the persistent impression of being evaluated.
âYes,â she told him. âMultiple people.â
Alistair was starting to question that impression.
âDo you still think about them?â
A sharp exhale. âEvery day.â
âDoes it get easier?â
âI'll let you know if it does.â
He gave a small, crooked smile. âWell. Thatâs honest, at least.â
They sat in silence. Not comfortable, exactly, but not unbearable either. Across the camp, Morrigan snapped at Muffin over something trivial. The normalcy of it felt cruel, but necessary in equal measure.
âThank you,â Alistair said quietly. âFor not... for not telling me to get over it. Or that it's a waste of time.â
Emma raised her cup of aggressively functional tea in acknowledgment.
Emma knelt in it anyway.
Alistair sat on a rolled blanket that had seen better months, forearm braced across his knee. The gash ran from wrist to elbow. The field stitches had pulled loose in places. Red crept outward from the edges, heat radiating under her fingers.
âOh, that looks ominous,â he said.
âItâs infected.â
âWell, yes. That's probably true. But it's still alive.â He flexed his fingers, slow and deliberate, as if proving something to himself.
Emma unwound the bandage without answering. The cloth stuck. Alistairâs jaw tightened; he didnât pull away. She eased it free and dropped it into the mud.
Sheâd already done everything that was allowed. Rinsed it. Packed it. Wrapped it. Waited.
Just stalling.
Her hand hovered. She could feel the mana coiled in her chest, waiting. A simple regeneration spell would close this in seconds. She knew the shape of it by heart. Pull the skin together. Burn the infection out. Leave nothing but relief and a thin pink scar.
She pulled back and reached for the water instead.
Morrigan stood three paces away, watching everything else. Hands clean. Positioned where she could see between the tents, track movement, count faces.
âHow long,â Morrigan said, âdo you intend to touch him without helping?â
Emma didnât look up. âI am helping.â
Morrigan gestured, slight and dismissive, toward the camp.
Emmaâs hands stilled.
Someone coughed. A child lingered in the gap between shelters, staring with the intensity of someone who knew they werenât meant to. A woman adjusted a pack strap that didnât need adjusting, took her time about it.
No one approached. No one left.
The attention pressed down on Emmaâs shoulders. They were fugitives, now. Rumors of magic would end them.
âI have something,â Morrigan said.
Emma looked up. âDefine something.â
Morrigan reached into her pack and produced a small pouch. âHere you are. Bog rowan. Marsh ash. Ground deathroot.â
âDeathroot.â Emmaâs voice sharpened. âThe dosingââ
ââis adequate,â Morrigan cut in. âFor his size. For this wound.â
âItâs toxic.â
â'Tis a pain suppressant that will reduce the notice and attention you claim to fear.â Morriganâs eyes flicked to Emma, then back to the perimeter.
Alistair cleared his throat. âI'm still here, you know.â
Neither of them looked at him.
âThat wonât stop the infection,â Emma said.
âNo,â Morrigan agreed. âBut it will not be so flashy, either. You may choose which failure suits you.â
The mud squelched as Emma shifted. She hated being surrounded by so many normal people.
Alistair tried to smile. âLook, I've had worse. Remember the tower? The ogre? That bit where I wasââ
His arm tensed without warning. The movement pulled at the wound. He went very still, took a deep breath.
Emma felt the spell rise on instinct. Just a little. Barely visibleâ
âIf you glow,â Alistair said quietly, âwe will attract trouble.â
Heâd counted the same risks she had, arrived at the same grim answer.
The mana in her chest felt trapped. Like holding her breath too long.
âFine,â she said. âBoth.â
Morrigan raised an eyebrow.
âIâll clean it properly first,â Emma said. âThen your remedy. Not instead.â
âThat seems quite excessive, Warden,â Morrigan said.
âThatâs the deal.â
Morrigan shrugged and tossed her the pouch.
Emma caught it. The leather was soft with use. Even sealed, the contents stung her sinuses: bitter, earthy, something chemically sharp beneath it.
âAlistair,â she said. âThis will hurt.â
âNaturally,â he said, somewhere between trust and resignation.
Emma worked fast. She cleaned deeper this time, cut away tissue that had gone grey at the edges. Alistairâs breathing went sharp, uneven. He tensed, but didnât pull away.
Morrigan handed her things without comment: clean cloth, a waterskin, a thin blade, cleaner than anything Emma had left.
By the time Emma finished, Alistairâs face had gone pale. She mixed the poultice in her palm, thick and dark, and spread it in a thin layer across the wound.
The effect was immediate. His shoulders dropped. His breath evened.
âOh,â he said. âThatâs⊠actually good.â
â'Tis temporary,â Morrigan said. âYou will regret it when it wears off, later.â
âIâll treasure this moment.â
Emma wrapped the arm with fresh cloth torn from a spare shirt and tied it off. She sat back on her heels.
Alistair flexed his hand. Stiff. Pain dulled. Still usable.
âThank you,â he said. To both of them.
Emma didnât answer. Her hands were sticky with blood and paste and mud. She wiped them on her trousers and stood. Alistair folded the blanket one-handed, cradling the injured arm. Emma took both packs before he could object.
Morrigan was already watching the tents again. A man had emerged nearby, scratching his beard, gaze sliding past them. Satisfied, perhaps, that nothing strange had happened.
Behind him, still in the tent, a woman peered over his shoulder. She looked disappointed.
Emma saw both.
âWe should move,â she said.
Morrigan vanished between the tents and returned minutes later with Muffin, who had been investigating something horribly biological near the latrines. They strapped the remaining pack to the dog. Muffin wore it proudly, tail wagging.
Daneâs Refuge was less a refuge and more a holding pen. The inn smelled like wet bodies, old grease, desperation fermenting in corners. Every table crowded, every bench sagging under too much weight. Even the air felt tired.
Emma shouldered through the press near the door. Morrigan had already vanished into whatever form offered the best sightlines and the least human contact. Alistair stayed close.
âIâm not sitting,â Emma said. He nodded.
His forearm was bandaged beneath the leather bracer, hidden, still radiating heat she could feel when she brushed past him. The deathroot paste had bought them hours. Not more.
A woman near the bar was bleeding through a rag wrapped around her hand. Too loose. Already soaked. Emmaâs feet moved before her brain caught up.
âLet me see that.â
The woman flinched. âItâs fine.â
âItâs not.â Emma pulled another clean strip of the shirt from her pack. âHold still.â
The watching crowd shifted. Assessing. Before she thought twice, more followed. Emma unwrapped a hand presented to her.
A deep, clean gash across the palm. Fish knife, probably. Bad binding, worse judgment. She cleaned it with water and vinegar, packed it with yarrow, wrapped it tight with real tension.
âKeep it elevated. Change the bandage tomorrow.â
The woman stared at her hand like it had been returned from the dead. âThank you.â
An older man with a fever. Willow bark tea. A child with a burn. Honey and comfrey. No glow. No magic. Just speed and competence. Emma moved through the crowd like she was disarming something, one small disaster at a time.
Alistair shadowed her, silent, his presence keeping the press from turning into a crush. People took help and melted back. Nobody mentioned Wardens or bounties or the rumors that had been circulating since Ostagar.
It was working.
Then a young mother pushed forward, infant wailing in her arms. âPleaseâhe wonât stop crying. Heâs been sick for days.â
Emma took one look and knew.
The childâs skin was gray. Breathing shallow. Too shallow. This wasnât something yarrow could touch.
âI canâtââ
âPlease.â The womanâs voice broke. âEveryone says you helped them.â
The crowd thickened. Hope spread fast and stupid, like a contagion itself. A man with a suppurating leg. A woman coughing blood into her sleeve. Hands reaching. Voices overlapping.
Too many. Too fast.
Alistair was looking elsewhere. His hand found her elbow. âEmma.â
Boots hit the floorboards, the particular cadence of soldiers. The crowd parted without being told. Refugees shrinking back against the walls.
Four soldiers. The commander had the look of someone whoâd survived by listening to orders. His gaze landed on Emma and stuck.
âWell,â he said, smiling thinly. âI think weâve been blessed.â
Alistairâs tone went light. âUh-oh. Thatâs Loghainâs men.â
A younger soldier stepped forward, already reaching for his sword. âDidnât we spend all morning asking for a woman like her? And everyone said they hadn't seen one?â
âIt seems we were lied to.â The commanderâs eyes slid over the refugees pressed to the walls, already cataloguing.
A woman in Chantry robes stepped between them. Calm. Earnest. Unarmed, or so she seemed. âGentlemen, surely thereâs no need for trouble. These are only more poor souls, seeking succor.â
The commander didnât look at her. âMove aside, Sister. You protect traitors, you die with them.â
Emma felt the situation collapse into plausible outcomes. Four soldiers. One exit. Alistair still fever-warm. Morrigan somewhere in the crowd, maybe. Refugees at risk in the melee.
âLetâs talk,â Emma bid to buy time.
âI am not a fool!â the commander snapped. âI served at Ostagar. The teyrn saved us from Warden treachery. I serve him gladly!â
Steel cleared leather.
Alistair drew at the same instant. âEnough.â
âTake the Warden,â the commander barked. âKill the sister and anyone else in the way.â
The inn exploded.
Refugees scattered. Tables overturned. The sister moved faster than Emma expected, a knife flashing from her sleeve, burying it in a soldierâs thigh.
Alistair caught a blow on his shield, turned it, kicked a knee sideways. He was slower than he should have been. Emma saw it. So did the man facing him.
A second blade came low, under the shield. Alistair blocked too late. Steel bit his thigh. He stumbled.
The killing blow rose.
Emma didnât think.
Magic tore out of her hands. Raw, uncontrolled. Cool light flared across Alistairâs leg, sealing flesh and blood in an instant. He surged upright and smashed his shield into the soldierâs face.
The commander circled, his smile vanished. âA mage,â he said softly. âEven better.â
Something cold and furious settled into Emmaâs bones. The hiding was over. The debt these people had paid for her burned clean away.
Lightning crawled up her arms.
She released it.
The bolt hit the commander square in the chest. He collapsed, twitching, the air around him drying and crackling.
âDrop your weapons,â Emma said.
One soldier ran. The sister took him down before he reached the door.
The last two looked at each other. At the body on the floor. At Emma, still arcing with light.
They dropped their swords.
Alistair leaned on his shield, breathing hard. He was watching her now. Her stomach curdled.
âWe surrender,â the commander rasped. âYouâve won.â
The sister lowered her knife. âGood. Then we can all stop fighting now.â
âI donât want them reporting to Loghain,â Emma said.
The color drained from the commanderâs face. âPlease.â
The sister stepped forward, shaken. âTheyâve surrendered.â
Emma looked at her. This woman in Chantry robes whoâd stabbed and chased and cornered without hesitation.
âThen give them a final prayer.â
âYou mean...â
Emma nodded.
The sister swallowed. Knelt. Prayed.
Alistair hesitated for half a heartbeat.
Then it was over.
Emma stood over the commanderâs body, wiping blood off her staff with a rag someone had abandoned on a table. Her hands were steady. Morrigan helped her check the other bodiesâsearching for orders, dispatches, anything.
Then Morrigan leaned against the wall by the door, arms crossed, radiating bored impatience. âWe should be leaving. Lingering seems unwise.â
âWe need more information.â Emma was irritated.
The sister was also cleaning her bladeâthe one she had used to puncture a soldierâs kidney. She wiped it methodically from hilt to point, then slid it back into a sheath hidden beneath her robes. When she finished, she approached the Wardens.
âI apologize for interfering, but I couldnât just sit by and not help.â
Emma looked up. Calluses on the womanâs fingers spoke to blade hilts, not hymnals. Hair pulled back in a practical braid, nothing like the elaborate constructions Emma associated with Revered Mothers. Young, with an earnest expression.
A pang of nostalgia hit her, for redheaded Chantry women with a hidden talent for violence. Jowan had been lucky only once in his lifeâhe had Lily, who also helped him escape. And probably died for it.
Somehow, Lily had been brutal with a mace. Faith had never softened her. Now Emma would never know why.
âSo I see. Where does a sister learn to fight like that?â
Lelianaâs smile had an edge to it. Knowing. A little sad. âYouâd be surprised what we learned before we repent.â
Not anymore.
âLet me introduce myself properly.â Leliana straightened herself closer to formal courtesy. âI am Leliana, one of the lay sisters of the Chantry here in Lothering. Or I was.â
Emma extended her hand. âI am Emma. A pleasure.â
Lelianaâs handshake was firm, brief. When she released Emma, her expression sharpened into something more intent.
âThey said you were a Grey Warden. After what happened, youâll need all the help you can get. Thatâs why Iâm coming along.â
Emmaâs eyebrows rose. âWhy so eager?â
âThe Maker told me to.â
She heard this beforeâCircle mages claiming divine inspiration for their grants, templars blessing their cruelty, Chantry authorities wielding faith as a cudgel.
âIf the Maker wants something,â Emma said carefully, âHeâs welcome to explain it Himself.â
Leliana softened, without indignation. âI know you may not believe. I didnât always, either. But I had a dreamâa vision. I know how that sounds, but I know the Maker has love for all.â
Alistair finished searching the bodies. He stood, catching the tail end of Lelianaâs declaration. âMore crazy? I thought we were all full up.â
Emma smirked despite herself. She almost felt bad for Leliana. Alistair shrugged, unapologetic. She did seem unhinged. Could one drink from the cup of Joining on the strength of a dream?
Leliana pressed on, undeterred. âLook at the people here.â She gestured to the refugees cowering in the corners, to the blood-soaked floorboards. âThey are lost in despair, and this darknessâthis chaosâwill spread. The Maker doesnât want this.â
âNo one wants this. If the Maker cares, He has a strange way of showing it.â
Yet in Lelianaâs face Emma recognized the fierce certainty of someone who decided her suffering meant something. Such faith usually ended badly.
âYes⊠He is strange,â Leliana admitted. âWhether you believe or not,â her voice lowered, urgent, âwhat youâre doing matters. People will follow you. Let me help.â
Emma looked at this woman whoâd plunged a dagger in a soldierâs kidney, then prayed over the corpses. Who claimed divine inspiration but was so obviously hiding from something. A fighter with zeal that could cover them in a variety of situations.
âAre you sure?â Emma said at last. âWe needed you in that ambush. I canât turn you away.â
Lelianaâs face lit up. âThank you. I know trust is not easily given. I will not let you down.â
She said it like a vow, quietly dramatic. A few in the corners bowed in prayer.
Morrigan made a derisive sound from her perch by the door. âDear Warden, perhaps your skull was cracked more deeply than Mother suspected.â She pushed off the wall. âI, for one, am leaving. I beg of you, please finish this business quickly.â
Emma nodded once, already turning back to practicalities. âWe leave soon. Weâll help them clean up, if they want it. Gather what you need from the Chantry. Be quick.â
âIâm ready now.â Leliana touched the hidden sheath at her belt, the small pack at her feet. âEverything I need is here.â
âTravel light, do you?â Alistair asked.
âIâve learned to. Possessions can be limiting.â
Emma looked at the bodies. At the refugees creeping back. At Leliana, who had inserted herself into their disaster. She caught Leliana watching her with relief.
Another believer. Another blade.
âLetâs go.â
Alistair moved to Emmaâs side, voice low. âSheâs very weird.â
âUnlike me?â Emma reminded him. She seemed so normal, he'd said.
âShows what I know.â
âSheâs weird,â Emma agreed. âBut we need her. Sheâs already committed.â
âYes. Committed to murdering.â
âThen sheâll murder Loghainâs men.â
âThey do have very murderable faces.â
They left, Emma bringing up the rear, staff grounded, feeling the weight of eyes following them across the bloodstained floor.
She realized: worrying about what they thought was optimistic. The darkspawn would probably end most of them. Even Loghainâs men, who survived Ostagar, convinced it meant something. Only to follow Emma here, into the dark.
Outside, night finished settling. They took the shadows toward the highway.
Behind them, Daneâs Refuge sealed itself shut. One more bridge burned. If it meant anything, it would only be in retrospect.
Emma had insisted they must barter, soonâperhaps buy first, while they still could. The money itself felt valueless in her hands.
The air hung thick with tallow and horse-sweat. Canvas stalls clung to the roadside like barnaclesâturnips and bulbs, a rare salted meat, spartan baskets of dried herbs. Morrigan prowled ahead, coins beneath her notice, while Emma stood before a hunched merchant.
âYou mutter numbers beneath your breath like curses,â Morrigan observed, before wrinkling her nose at a wicker basket.
Emma turned the copper pieces over in her palm. âHow many silvers in a sovereign?â
âForty-eight,â Alistair said. âOr fifty. Depending on whose sovereign it is.â
âThat's... not helpful.â
â'Tis useful enough,â Morrigan said, not bothering to hide her amusement. â'Tis proof of how arbitrary these tokens prove themselves. You Circle mages lock away power itself, only to tremble before stamped tin.â
Alistair stepped closer to the peddler, ignoring her. âHow about we give you three bottles of tincture for that sack of salt and the tea? Fair trade.â
The peddler's eyes narrowed. âYou're with the Wardens, then?â
âJust travelers,â Emma said quickly. âTired ones.â
âFour bottles.â
Alistair glanced at Emma. âBit steep, maybe.â
âThree and a half.â She upended the purse. Coins scattered across the board like dice.
âAh, beholdâthe Circle's finest arithmetic,â Morrigan said dryly.
âDone,â the peddler said, sweeping up the coins. âAnd no spit in the bottles, neither.â
Alistair handed Emma the bundle. The cloth was warm, faintly damp from the road.
âPleasure doing business,â the peddler said, already turning away. âWatch the roads. The bandits are bold.â
As they were leaving, Emma looked down at her hands.
âI kept ledgers,â she said, apologetic. âI knew the price of frostweed in four provinces.â
âYou were rich in theory, then,â Morrigan said.
âHave you seen that place?â Alistair said. âIt's not just theory.â
Morrigan scoffed. âAnd now, our enchanter is destitute in practice. A familiar Circle problem.â She paused, then added with deliberate cruelty: âHow do your ledgers avail us now?â
Emma tossed her a coin. Morrigan caught it without looking. The wind rippled through the tall grass, and the faint stench of decay drifted with itâsickly-sweet, like turned milk.
âWhat we owe,â Emma said quietly, âmight add up beyond counting.â
The three of them walked on. The sound of the market faded into the fields. Morrigan trailed a little behind, twirling the coin between her fingers.
âThe willows die faster this week,â she observed. âEven the crows fly elsewhere.â
âHow cheery,â Alistair muttered.
âIf we trade the salt,â Emma said, âwe can hold onto the lyrium. Tea's lighter to carry.â
âSee? That's a plan. Simple.â
âSimple, he says.â Morrigan's voice was flat, amused. â'Tis never a simple plan, to depend on the whims of merchants and men.â
Emma tucked the remaining coins away.
âI still don't trust the sum,â she admitted.
âWisdom, at last,â Morrigan said. âThis world rarely adds up.â
âIt's fine, really,â Alistair said, âYou know, I think the merchant liked you. He didn't even try to shortchange us at the end.â
âHe pitied me.â
âPity's cheaper than salt. Take the win.â He grinned. âThat's worth more than counting.â
âFair.â
âWelcome to the outside world,â Alistair said. âWe have lots on offer. Like moldy tea.â
They walked in silence again, the road dipping through low fields. Morrigan had gone ahead now, a silhouette against the failing light, distant as a crow on a fencepost. She called back sharplyâsomething about pitching camp before dark.
Emma rolled her shoulders, adjusting the packâs weight.
âHow long,â Emma asked, âto learn to live like this?â
Alistair glanced at her, then at the sun on the horizon. A dying brilliance of the day, just before twilight. âI'll let you know when I do.â
It wasn't that he needed an audience. Most of the time, he assumed he didn't have one. Words drifted into air and evaporated. No follow-up. Gone the moment he stopped making noise.
They were walking on the Imperial Highway, a road of polished stone, tread over so many times the edges had worn down. She didn't look at him when she spoke. She rarely did, not unless something required it.
âSo,â she said, after he'd been rambling about nothing for a while, âyou said Arl Eamon raised you.â
âDid I say that? I meant dogs. Giant ones. Slobbering. From the Anderfels.â
She waited.
âA whole pack,â he went on, warming to it. âFlying dogs, obviously. Very strict parents. Big on the Chant. You wouldn't believe the curfew.â
âThat must have been difficult for them,â Emma said, completely flat.
He looked at her then. She wasn't smiling.
âWell,â he said, âthey did their best.â
âAnd then they sold you to the Chantry.â
There it was. The follow-up. A thing that never happened.
âOh, there you go,â he said lightly. âListening again. You'd think you'd have gotten bored by now.â
He waited for her to say something. She just kept walking. Her staff tapped stone in steady rhythm.
âI didn't start there,â he said finally. âThe Chantry, I mean. Let me think. How do I explain this...â
He scratched at the back of his neck.
âI'm a bastard. And before you say anything clever, I mean the fatherless kind. My mother was a serving girl at Redcliffe. She died when I was very young. Arl Eamon wasn't my father, but he took me in anyway. Roof over my head. Food. That sort of thing.â
He said it smoothly, carefully light.
âHe was good to me. And he didn't have to be. I respect him. I don't blame him for sending me to the Chantry once I was old enough.â
âHe wasn't your father,â she repeated. âDo you know who was?â
âI know who I was told was my father.â He glanced at her briefly. She wasn't looking back. âHe died before my mother did. Anyway. It isn't important.â
He said it the same way he always did.
They were heading to Redcliffe. And heâd never worried about this before.
Would she remember he'd said that, too?
Emma nodded once. Alistair kept talking.
âEamon married an Orlesian woman eventually. Caused a bit of a stir, what with the war and all. He loved her, though. That part was obvious.â He smiled, thin. âShe didn't love the rumors about me quite as much.â
âWhat rumors?â
âThe new arlessa resented the rumors which pegged me as his bastard.â He shrugged. âThey weren't true, but that hardly matters. She resented my being there. I don't blame her, really. If I were in her place...â
âAnyhow, so off I went to the nearest monastery at age ten. Just as well. The arlessa had made sure the castle wasn't a home to me by that point.â
âThat's an awful thing to do to a child.â
He looked up. She was watching him. It made him feel a bit tilted, like staring into bottomlessness.
âShe felt threatened,â he said. âI can see that now.â
He paused, then added, quieter, âI had an amulet. Andraste's symbol. The only thing I had from my mother. When they told me I was headed to the monastery, I tore it off and threw it at the wall. Shattered it...stupid thing to do.â
âDid the arl visit you?â
âSometimes,â Alistair said. âAt first. I hated the monastery. Blamed him for everything. I was⊠difficult.â He waved a hand, trying for dismissive. He knew his voice didn't quite sell it. âEventually he stopped coming.â
Emma said nothing. He was making excuses. She could hear it in his words, said so reasonably. And of course, he filled the space she left him.
âI was raised by dogs,â he said. âOr I may as well have been. Maybe all young bastards act like that. I wouldnât know.â
âThey do,â said Emma. She'd know. Most mage children are like bastards, more or less.
âThe arl is a good man, and well-loved. He was King Cailanâs uncle. If he knew...he has good reason for wanting Loghain brought to account.â
Alistair stared at her. She wasn't looking at him anymore. But something in her posture suggested she was still listening. Still paying attention. It was unsettling, he decided.
âAnyway,â he said. âThatâs really all there is to the story.â
Alistair didnât even look surprised. He glanced down at his armor instead, plain mail, and gave it an approving little tug. âHave you seen the uniform? Itâs not just fashionable, itâs well-made. Iâm extremely vulnerable to good tailoring.â
âIn that case, you should have become a mage.â
âOh, believe me, Iâve noticed. Iâm fairly certain templar uniforms are that colorful solely so we donât look drab next to you lot. Imagine charging at a maleficar in the woods and he points and laughs at your outfit. Ruins the whole intimidation factor.â
âSeems like that might happen anyway,â she said lightly.
He tapped his chest, as if checking for damage. âThat was uncalled for. Pride is a delicate organ.â
âYou donât really want the real answer, do you?â he said. âItâs incredibly dull.â
âThen lie,â Emma said. âIâm flexible.â
He laughed despite himself. âI like the way you think. I could make something up. Throw in a tragic backstory. Or I could show you a couple of interesting-looking moles later.â
ââŠIs that how you change the subject?â she asked.
âSometimes.â
He hesitated, then: âI really did hate the monastery. The poor initiates thought I was putting on airs. The noble ones called me a bastard and pretended I didnât exist. Arl Eamon sent me there and I took it very personally.â
She waited. He kept going.
âI was determined to be bitter about it,â he said. âBut the training helped. Discipline. Focus. I was⊠good at it. That mattered more than I expected.â
âSo you enjoyed hunting mages,â Emma probed.
âNo,â he said at once. âI never got that far. Mostly I learned how to stand still and not fall apart. How to hold a formation. How to trust the person next to you. It was hard. But it felt earned. Not like everything else in my life.â
They walked in silence again. A bird took off from the brush, startled.
âI never really felt at home,â he said, quieter now, âuntil the Grey Wardens. Duncan thought the templar training might be useful against darkspawn magic, so I kept it up.â
He looked at her. âWhat about you? Anywhere youâd call home?â
âIf youâre asking whether I miss the Circle,â she said, âit made that decision for me.â
âTheyâre very good at deciding things for you,â he said. âMonasteries, Circles. Different dĂ©cor. Same idea.â
âIn that way.â
âIt wonât always be like this,â he said, hopeful in that reckless way of his. âBlights can last forever. But this one doesnât have to. I have to believe thereâs an after. Once the war ends. Weâll have to think about a real home again.â
Then, softer, âThough that feels very far away. And the Grey Wardens are mostly gone, either way.â
âThey can be rebuilt,â Emma said.
He nodded. âI know. We can make new Wardens. We just wonât get them back. I wonder if it would ever feel the same.â
He cleared his throat, the moment collapsing under its own weight. âAnyway. Iâve side-tracked us. We should probably get back to saving the world.â
The smell hit first. Smoke, wet metal, rations gone bad. The sort of air that clung to soldiers after a battleâexcept there hadn't been one here. Not yet. When word spread that Grey Wardens had been seen passing near the village, that was the final spark.
âI count two dozen,â Morrigan reported from above, circling. No formation, barely any leaders. âDesperation breeds idiocy.â
If they'd had Sten, Emma would have sent him. Let a murderer meet a mobâit balanced out, in her mind. A clean ledger, or as close as it gets. He'd draw their fear and their fury both, and maybe live long enough to absolve something of himself in the process.
Alistair hated the idea. âLet's not feed him more people.â
Morrigan had only shrugged. â'Twould save us the trouble.â
Shouts echoed across the empty fields as refugeesâgaunt, desperate, some still clutching empty ration pouchesâgathered at the crossroads. Able-bodied men waited at the road's edges like crows, all ribs and fever eyes. Half of them had pitchforks. The other half looked like they'd kill for one.
Leliana's hand lingered near her bowstring. âThey had children with them.â
âThey have rocks with them,â Alistair muttered. âLet me try to talk them down first. They deserve that much.â
He adjusted the heavy armor, trying to stand straighter. Shiny, conspicuous, and loud enough to make every starving soul turn their head. It had the look of the armor she'd seen at Ostagar. Later, she'd learn it actually wasâthank Bodahn for thatâbut now it just looked like a bad idea.
The others knew better than to step forward. Emma could try anyway, but she was the one who'd ordered two men's throats slit in the inn last night. There were no good options. So Alistair it was.
He rolled his shoulders, greaves clanking. The armor looked ridiculous on himâtoo big, too bright, like a costume. Muffin's ears flattened, and the war hound shifted forward, eyes darting about the crowd's movements. Even the dog knew this would end badly.
Emma took position behind the half-collapsed fence, staff grounded. Leliana had set up further back, her bowstring whispering under her fingers. They barely knew her. The Chant was still on her lips from the last time she'd prayed over a body. She could collect the bounty herselfâEmma, with one shot. Alistair might stand a chance, were they not still ragged from their journey out of the Wilds.
Emma considered the situationâoutnumbered, Alistair half-injured, pulling his punches. That's why she'd quietly moved into position, watching Muffin, who watched him.
Muffin had positioned himself between her and the crowd's edge, fixed on the men circling wide, at counter to those who were testing their angles. The war dog could launch and reach a threat before Emma could cast.
Morrigan circled above, a black blur against grey sky, scouting and sulking.
The villagers were shouting now. The words blurred togetherâsomething about Wardens, about bounty, about betrayal. Someone spat.
Alistair raised his hands, voice steady.
âLet us escort you north. We're not your enemy.â
Which was true, technically. They didn't care.
âWe starve while you play soldier!â
The first rock hit his pauldron with a clang like a tinny bell. Muffin's growl deepened. Leliana exhaled slowly. Two refugees charged; Alistair raised his shield but tried again:
âPleaseâwe're not here to kill people. Just the darkspawn.â
One woman cried out, âThe monster is you! The price is on your heads!â
Another rock whistled past his temple and struck the mud behind him. Leliana loosedâher arrow pinned a man's sleeve to a wagon wheel. A warning. The next one wouldn't be.
Three men broke from the mob's edge, approaching at the angle about him where the pauldrons blinded. Muffin surged forward, a verifiable meat torpedo, splitting the front against him, buying time. One stumbled back. The other two hesitated just long enough for Alistair to pivot.
Morrigan descended like a shadow, positioning herself at Alistair's flank.
Emma drove her staff into the ground. The impact jolted through her arms, up into her shoulders. The Fade respondedâair shimmering, dust lifting in rings around her. Half the crowd faltered. Half charged.
A man with a cudgel came at their tank, from the left. Muffin intercepted low, jaws closing on the weapon's shaft with a crack of splintering wood. The man fell backward, weaponless, numb. The hound circled back to Alistair's weak side, maintaining the perimeter.
Alistair struck back. Quick, necessary, regretted.
Lightning crackled from Emma's staff, not at the crowd but at the ground before themâa barrier that turned charge into retreat, licking the few pressing through. The mabari moved with her magic, reading its rhythm, herding the wounded back toward the mob.
When it was done, Muffin returned to Emma's side, tongue lolling, eyes still tracking the horizon. His tail wagged. The most cheerful soldier's report. Emma dropped to one knee, praising him as he leaned into her shoulder. Tension uncoiled from his muscles into hers.
The dog had done what she couldn'tâbought Alistair time to feel merciful. Timing may have saved a few from the blade. She was not so sure it was truly a mercy.
Two lay dead, four wounded, and the rest had fled toward the marsh by Dane's Refuge. Emma didn't feel guilty. She thought, guilt comes later, when they buried the bodies and Alistair looked at her like she was Duncan's ghost.
But it didn't.
However, Alistair felt guilty enough for all of them.
âThey were justâMaker, they were just scared.â
Leliana murmured a prayer for the corpses. âThe Revered Mother here will not forgive this.â
âThe Revered Mother will forgive nothing,â Morrigan said flatly, eyes tracing the horizon for more trouble.
The holy house stank. Behind every prayer and polished icon, Morrigan smelled fearâa spoilt-sour, mewling smell. These sad subjects of their absent God were hiding in a sturdy old stone chapel, barely better than a rotted shack against a Blight. And yet, here they stood, arguing about one prisoner.
The Revered Mother's eyes flicked between the Wardens and the red-haired songbird, suspicion in every wrinkle. Leliana spoke with honey in her voice.
âWe wish to return the qunari to his people,â Leliana said softly. âIf Ferelden shows mercy to one of the Qun, perhaps the Qunari will remember when the Blight comes to their shores.â
Morrigan smiled. Even honey hides the stinger. She hadn't thought the woman capable of subtlety beyond hymns and heartbreak.
The WardenâEmmaâstood beside her, silent, her expression calm enough to fool the typical observer. But Morrigan knew better. This Warden was not Andrastan, but much like them, she troubled by so many absurdities while the world itself was dying. She couldn't let go of them. But, to her credit, she was trying to do so, and so simmered quietly.
The Revered Mother replied, âHe butchered innocents. The Qunari have no place among decent folk.â
Emma's muscles tightenedâso slight a motion, tilting like a prey animal. No one else might have seen it.
âHe turned himself in,â she offered, impulsively. âHow many butchers do the same?â
This query was not their plan, and would not play to their advantage. Not coming from Emma. Not in this church. Morrigan admired and pitied her losing move.
âYou would set him free?â the Revered Mother demanded.
Leliana stepped in again before Emma could answer. Clever girl.
âWe would take him into the Warden's charge. He'll fight the darkspawnâpay for his crimes in service. Let the Maker decide if he's redeemed.â
Ah, groveling to divine vanity. How trite. The Revered Mother hesitatedâperhaps afraid? Finally, she nodded.
âThen take him. But his blood is on your hands.â
âWhose isn't?â Emma looked up into the rafters. Morrigan studied her. She did not think for a second this Warden believed in the Maker. To whom was she confessing?
Outside, the air was cleaner but no less oppressive. Clouds pressed low over Lothering's muddy streets. Alistair waited by the Chantry steps, arms crossed, the salvaged armor catching what little light remained in the afternoon.
âWell?â he asked as they emerged.
âWe have him,â Leliana said.
â'Have him' meaning...? One more for our murderer collection?â
Emma nodded.
âThat's... good? I think?â
âI don't know,â she was looking up again, into the grey clouds.
Morrigan descended the Chanty's steps deliberately brushing past Alistair, without acknowledging him. âYou would defend a murderer,â she observed, to Emma, â'Tis a curious moral compass you've cultivated.â
âNot a defense. We got him a different sentence,â she shrugged. Once you start a serious murderer collection, the tendency must be to push it as far as you can.
âAnd what of the ones he slew?â
âThey're gone,â she said simply.
âBe careful now; You sound like you care,â said Alistair.
Morrigan just smirked, refusing to dignify the Wardens with a response.
âI swear this stuff is possessed. Or maybe it's justââ
âIncompetently handled?â Morrigan suggested, not looking up from where she was methodically cutting canvas into workable sections.
âI was going to say 'temperamental.'â
Emma sat back on her heels nearby, measuring another length of twine with her fingers. Sheâd been quiet since that ugly business with the refugees.
âItâs long enough.â She marked the spot with her thumb. âCut here.â
Morrigan's blade flashed. The twine parted.
âThere,â Morrigan said. âYour struggles against inanimate objects need not continue.â
Alistair glared. âI donât see you volunteering to wrangle it.â
âYou know,â Emma said, still working the twine between her fingers, âwe could just⊠leave.â
Alistair fumbled another loop. âLeave the tent half-assembled? I mean, I know I'm bad at this, butââ
âFerelden.â The word dropped like a stone. âWe could go to Orlais. Find the Grey Warden veterans. Theyâd know what to do.â
The twine slipped through Alistair's fingers entirely. âOrlais again. Why? You're joking.â
âDoes she sound like she's joking?â Morrigan asked, sharply.
Alistair drew his brow, an irritated stitch. âEmma⊠the Blight is here. In Ferelden. If we run to Orlais, the horde rolls over everyone from here to Denerim. By the time we come back with help, there wonât be anything left.â
âThatâs exactly what Iâm thinking. Duncan trained you for six months? I've had weeks. The Wardens in Orlais are more than two half-trained conscripts. They'd know how to organize a defense, how toââ
âHow to arrive after Ferelden has been overrun and half the population is dead,â Alistair cut in quietly.
âBut they'd have a chance to stop it from spreading across Thedas.â
âI canât leave my country to die while I go running to the neighbors for help.â
âYou could be getting reinforcements,â she insisted; It's what Duncan wanted Cailan to do. Why couldn't she say it? âInstead of dying pointlessly.â
âPointless?â His voice was sharp. âThen what did Duncan die for? What did any of usââ
âGoing to Orlais, to the experienced Wardensâthat's the plan that actually saves lives. Maybe not Ferelden's, butââ
âBut not Ferelden's,â he repeated. âYou said it yourself.â
âStaying here is more dramatic than smart. We don't know enough. We don't have enough support. Loghain is close to finding us.â
âI'm a Grey Warden; I won't turn my back on the darkspawn to abandon Ferelden. Even if staying meansââ He gestured helplessly at the half-assembled tent, the darkening sky, everything. âThis.â
âThat's not heroic, that's justââ
ââincompetent?â Morrigan suggested again.
ââself-destructive.â Emma said.
âProbably. But Ferelden is my home. Emma, we're the only ones left from Ostagar. If we run, thatâs it. No one in Ferelden fights the Archdemon. No one even tries.â
Emma stared at him for a long moment, then stood and dropped the twine. Turned and walked toward the tree line, boots crunching through dead leaves. The mabari hound lifted his head from where heâd been investigating a promising bush, then trotted after her. They watched her go.
âWell...â Alistair said after a moment. âShe was never supposed to be a Warden. She didnât want this. Duncan conscripted her... She probably just wants to go back to her tower and her books and pretend none of this ever happened. Or go to Orlais where there are people who might actually survive.â
The words came out harder than he'd intended. Morrigan continued cutting canvas with methodical calm.
âAnd the worst part is, she's right. Going to Orlais, finding Wardens who actually know what they're doingâthat's the smart plan.â
âHow predictably maudlin.â Morrigan's knife paused mid-cut. âPerhaps she simply possesses a functioning sense of self-preservation, unlike certain stubborn fools.â
âIs that supposed to make me feel better?â
â'Tis not my responsibility to manage your feelings, Warden. Howeverââ The knife resumed its work. ââshould your companion prove as pragmatic as you fear, you would not be fighting the Blight entirely alone.â
âRight.â He should probably feel grateful. He didn't. âWell. Thanks, I suppose.â
âHow gracious. You are very welcome,â her voice was acid.
They worked in prickly silence for a moment, Alistair threading twine through grommets while Morrigan arranged the canvas sections. The tent was taking shape.
âI do not believe your Circle mage will leave Ferelden,â said Morrigan.
Alistair looked up. Morrigan was studying the tree line where Emma had disappeared, her expression unreadable in the gathering dusk.
âYou sound awfully certain about that. Even though her plan is the one that makes actual sense.â
âI am.â Morrigan's fingers traced an idle pattern on the canvas. âThere is a tether between you and her. A fine tether, perhaps, but strong.â Her voice took on an almost musical quality, careful and precise. âEmma may be ambivalent. She may rail against the foolishness of staying. But she will not abandon Ferelden.â
Alistair shook his head. âHow can you possibly know that?â
âAs of late, your Warden has acquired a rather telling companion.â
âThe war dog? What does that have to do withââ
âEverything.â Morrigan cut him off with a gesture. âDuring that unfortunate business with the refugees, whilst you were busy being heroically stupid, did you not notice the beast?â
âHe was... relentless. Until she called him back.â
âAnd before it came to that?â
Alistair shrugged.
âHe was vigilant, all the while your poor attempt at diplomacy invited them to gut you.â She leaned forward slightly, amber eyes intent.
She knew the dog tipped the battle brewing, ensuring Alistair had a better position to defend himself, rather than talking his way into a noose.
But Alistair frowned. âHe's been our off-tank. He guards Emma.â
âOh, he is devoted to her entirely.â
Alistair stared at the near-tent. He had twisted the twine taught against his palm.
âSo what youâre saying is...â
âAs I have been saying: she will not abandon you.â Morrigan continued, returning to her canvas. Her voice softened. âLogic and reason would send her to Orlaisâ'tis the sensible choice. But the tether holds.â
There was something almost sad in her voice.
âYou actually feel sorry for her,â Alistair said, surprised. Morrigan's knife flashed in the firelight.
âI merely observe what is plain to see.â
Alistair looked toward the trees again, at the darkness where Emma had vanished with her reasonable objections and her loyal dog. He thought about Ostagar, about the jump from the Tower of Ishal, about finding her alive in the Wilds. The wordless relief that had passed between them before the bickering resumed.
He rubbed his forehead. âMaker. I really hope youâre right.â
âI usually am.â Morrigan murmured; She knew Emma and Alistair both were bound to this land. She gathered her cut pieces and stood. âNow, are you going to finish with that twine, or shall I do everything myself?â
Alistair chose to believe Emma was coming back. Just not yet.
âAt this point? Probably safer if you do.â
âWhat changes after the Joining?â she asked.
Alistair hesitated. âYou mean aside from the whole becoming-a-Grey-Warden thing?â
âI mean physically,â she said. âNot slogans. Not traditions.â
That got his attention.
ââŠI asked Duncan that,â he said. âAll he told me was, âYouâll see.ââ
She pulled her hands from the water and turned toward him. âTry that on me. Then you'll see.â
He opened his mouth, closed it, then smiled reflexively. âI can think of much better lines for you.â
âIs that so?â
âI mean, potentially. Just you wait.â He laughed, a little too fast.
âRight. Sorry. Itâs not that Duncan wanted to keep it secret. Itâs just not something Wardens talk about much. Itâs⊠unpleasant.â
âThatâs a red flag.â
âOh, it's a whole parade of red flags,â he said. âWith matching banners. Very festive.â
âThen what?â
âThe first thing I noticed was hunger,â he said. âConstant. Iâd wake up in the middle of the night convinced I was starving. Iâd tear through the larder like I hadnât eaten in weeks. The other Wardens just watched and laughed.â
âCharming.â
âI was very popular,â he said. âGravy everywhere. No dignity.â
âOr,â Emma said, âit's a major metabolic change. No one thought that warranted a warning?â
âYou know what? You're absolutely right. That should have been mentioned. Right up there with 'drink this tainted blood and try not to die.'â
âThen the dreams?â
He nodded. âThen the dreams. Nightmares. Duncan said thatâs how we sense darkspawn. We tap into⊠something shared. A kind of collective mind. Itâs worse when you sleep.â
âYou learn to block it out,â he said quickly. âEventually. Itâs supposed to be worse if you Join during a Blight. How has it been for you?â
âVery persistent.â
He nodded. âThat tracks,â then he sighed. More bad news. âMost Wardens start having the nightmares again once the taint⊠progresses,â he said. âThatâs how you know youâre nearing the end.â
âWhat end?â
âOh, we never had time to tell you, did we?â he sobered, âyou donât have to worry about dying of old age. The taint gets you first. Eventually your body canât handle it.â
âThirty years,â he said. âGive or take.â
She stared at him.
âNow you tell me.â
âWell,â he said weakly, âyes.â
She looked away, toward nothing in particular. The road. The trees. Anything that wasnât him.
Thirty years. If the Blight didn't kill her first. If Loghain didn't find them. Ifâ
She cut the spiral short. Later. That was a later problem.
âAll right,â she said finally.
He blinked. âAll right?â
âSo,â she said, very carefully, âthey gave us something we werenât allowed to understand. It rewrote our bodies on a schedule nobody mentioned. And didn't explain it because it makes for an unpleasant conversation.â
She turned back to face him. The stream kept moving. The world, irritatingly, continued.
âI mean. I figured it out. Duncan explained the dreams... and the untimely death. When he told me, I was angry. But...He put his hand on my shoulder and said this: 'It's not how you die that's important. It's how you live.'â
âIt's dishonest.â
He held up his hands. âIâm not saying it isnât. I'm justâ I'm just letting you know. When the time comes, most Wardens go to Orzammar. The Deep Roads. One last battle. Itâs tradition.â
âWhy Orzammar?â
âDarkspawn are always there. The dwarves respect us for it.â
âWhy keep the Joining secret,â she asked, âif the cause is just?â
He hesitated longer this time. âYou think if we asked for volunteers, that Grey Wardens would exist? Maybe a few. You wouldn't be here. Neither would I, probably. And the Blight needs to be stopped.â
âConsent obtained through omission,â Emma said. âIâm familiar.â
âWhich sounds terrible when you say it like that,â he said. âBut here's the thingâDuncan mostly recruited people whose lives were already⊠difficult. Prisoners. Castoffs. People who didn't have better options.â He gestured at himself. âCase in point.â
âSounds familiar. But Jory had options,â she said.
âYes,â Alistair said quietly. âAnd thatâs why he panicked.â
They stood there with the sound of running water between them.
âDuncan told me heâd started having the dreams again,â Alistair said. âRecently. He said it wouldnât be long before he went to Orzammar himself.â
Emmaâs voice softened, just a fraction. âHe didnât get the chance.â
âNo,â he said. âAnd I hate that. I hate that it wasnât on his terms.â
âHeâll be remembered,â she said.
He nodded. âEnding the Blight should make it worth it. Right?â
Emma had Sten recovering anything useful. Leliana and Alistair spoke quietly of eulogizing Lothering in song. The bard didn't find this necessary. The town was already done.
They walked until the roofs vanished behind the low hills and the air lost the sour tang of panic. Only then did the party begin to spread out naturally.
Alistair took point by habit. Shield on his arm, sword loose in hand, eyes scanning the tree line for darkspawn scouts. Sten stomped with stoic certainty. Muffin ranged freely, nose low, tail high, delighted by the sheer abundance of new smells. Morrigan stalked somewhere ahead, disdainful of roads entirely.
Leliana drifted closer to Emma as the light began to tilt toward evening.
âYou have not asked me about my dream,â Leliana said lightly, as though noting a missing stitch in a tapestry.
Emma kept her eyes on the road ahead. âI assumed youâd tell me.â
Leliana smiled at that.
They walked awhile longer before she spoke again.
âI knew this would come up sooner or later,â Leliana said, and sighed. âI don't know how to explain, but I had a dream... There was a darkness. It was so dense, so real, very pressing...â
Emmaâs hand tightened around her staff. âAnd?â
âAnd there was a noise,â Leliana continued. Her voice lowered, losing its habitual brightness. âA terrible, ungodly noise.â
Emma stopped walking. Alistair turned, confused, then halted as well.
âWhat kind of noise?â Emma asked evenly.
Leliana hesitated, searching. âLike⊠as if the air around me was screaming. I was being pulled.â
Emma nodded once, focused.
âI stood on a peak,â the bard said, encouraged. âI could see everything below me, and the darkness rolled in like a storm. When it swallowed the last of the light, I fell. And it drew me in.â
âYou dreamed of the Blight,â Alistair said.
âI suppose I did,â Leliana agreed. âThat was what the darkness was, no? The storm, the noise, the way it consumed everything⊠What else could it be?â
Emma said nothing.
Leliana clasped her hands together, warming to the memory now. âWhen I woke, I went to the Chantry gardens. As I always do. There is a rosebush there, in the corner by the wall. Everyone knew that bush was dead. It was grey and twisted and gnarledâ the ugliest thing you ever saw. But that morningââ
Her voice softened, reverent.
âThere was a single rose. Blooming.â
Alistair blinked. âIn Lothering?â
âYes.â
Morrigan let out a quiet, humorless huff from somewhere ahead. Somehow Emma heard exactly what she meant: How quaint.
Leliana ignored her. âIt was as though the Maker Himself had reached down and said: even here, even now, there is hope.â
Emma studied Leliana's face. The conviction there was absolute.
âDid you hear voices?â Emma asked.
âNo,â Leliana said gently. âNot voices. He spoke to my soul. In a language no human tongue can express.â
âThat's convenient.â
Leliana smiled, unoffended. âI know how it sounds. But tell me, what should I believe? What I feel in my heart, or what others insist I must?â
âIf the Maker is real, He's absent,â said Emma. To even grant the Chantry the argument of His existence, she still had no inclination to beg for the return of a deadbeat God.
âHe is still here,â Leliana replied, âI hear Him in the wind and the waves, I feel Him in the sunlight that warms my skin.â
Emma started walking again, boots finding their rhythm on the packed earth. Leliana fell back into step beside her.
âI'm not saying you're wrong,â Emma said after a moment. âI'm saying⊠if something pulls you, ignoring it won't make it go away. I've tried.â
Leliana glanced at her, surprised. âYou've felt something like this?â
âStorms,â Emma said. âDarkness. The noise you described. That's familiar.â
âPerhaps,â Leliana said carefully, âwe are being called to the same place.â
Emma shook her head. âMaybe we're processing what we already know.â Then she added, âBut I'm glad you're with us.â
âYes,â Alistair quipped cheerfully. âEvery apocalypse needs a blasphemer.â
Leliana laughed, light and uplifted: âI know what I know, and no one will ever make that untrue.â
Emmaâs gaze followed Leliana as she moved ahead, unease budding in her chest.
The fire crackled low. Morrigan built her own fire, somewhere just out of sight. Sten sat with his back straight, sword across his knees, utterly unconcerned with comfort. Leliana hummed softly as she unpacked, a hopeful tune.
Muffin snored at Emma's feet, warm and solid. She stared into the fire and thought, not for the first time, about running. No Duncan to shank her as she ran. No Circle walls. The road was open. Morrigan's existence was proof that apostasy was possible.
She had found recruits. Alistair wouldn't be completely alone without her.
But she stayed where she was. A memory of Flemeth's words surfaced unbidden: âIt is up to you. Pray not for someone else to destroy the Blight. It will always nip at your heels.â
The old witch had been right about many things, including: Duncan had changed her. Permanently. The Joining was rewriting her blood, cell by cell, into someone else.
Something else. Something that could sense darkspawn. Something darkspawn could sense in return.
She didn't feel it yet. But she would. Soon enough, the connection would snap into place, a chain forged in her marrow.
If she ran nowâbolted for Orlais or Kirkwall, found the veteran Wardens who actually knew what they were doingâmaybe she could outrun the Blight itself. Get ahead of the horde before her blood sang for them to hear.
Or, she'd just be outrunning Alistair.
He felt them. She'd seen it in the Wilds, the way his head would tilt, his eyes going distant. âThey're moving parallel to us.â He'd known without seeing. Without doubt.
So the darkspawn would sense him first. Follow him. Hunt him. And he'd be luring them. To Leliana, Sten, Morriganâanyone willing to help him.
The other Warden interrupted her thoughts, clearing his throat from the edge of the firelight.
âSo... We're still planning to head north... to Redcliffe. Tomorrow?â
Emma didn't answer immediately.
âIf⊠if that's all right. Arl Eamon might help. That's something.â
Something. She nodded.
The point of no return passed quietly. Behind them, Lothering burned.
So we're walking. Imperial Highway. Empty. Very scenic.
Emma's looking at me again. That look. The one that suggests she's preparing to dissect me like one of those frogs the healers use for anatomy lessons. I'm trying very hard to pretend I don't notice, but I'm wearing a helmet specifically so she can't see my face doing⊠whatever it's doing.
âIf you were raised in the Chantry,â she says, and oh Maker, here we go, âhave you neverâŠ?â
âNever what? Had a good pair of shoes?â
Brilliant deflection, Alistair. Really top-tier evasion. I'm pretty sure she's not asking about footwear, but maybe if I talk enough, she'll forget the original question. This has worked exactly zero times with her, but hope springs eternal.
âYou know what I mean.â
She's asking if I've everâwell. Maybe I should walk directly into the nearest darkspawn horde and call it a day.
âI'm not sure I do.â My hands are doing that thing where they gesture at nothing. âHave I never seen a basilisk? Eaten jellied ham? Have I never licked a lamppost in winter?â
There. Perfect distraction. Lamppost. Very phallic, now that I think about it. She's staring. Of course she's staring.
âThat last one is very specific.â
Right. Well. In for a copper, in for a sovereign. âHave you ever licked a lamppost in winter?â
Please say no. Please let this absolutely deranged conversational pivot work just this once.
â...No?â
Thank the Maker. Small mercies. I launch into the story. It's a good story. Distracting. Full of comedy and minor disfigurement. Everything a good deflection needs.
I even get her to smirk. Victory. Temporary, yes. But I'll take it.
âI, myself, have never done it,â I add, because apparently I can't stop talking. âThat. Not that I haven't thought about it, of course, but⊠you know.â
Do I mean the lamppost or the other thing? Honestly, at this point, I'm not sure. My brain's turned to porridge. This is fine. Everything's fine.
âI don't. That's why I asked.â
Emma is terrifyingly direct and doesn't believe in subtext or mercy or letting a man drown in his own embarrassment with dignity.
The darkspawn are moving away. Downhill. Opposite direction. Thank every god that's ever existed. I take the helm off because apparently I've decided I want to suffer in full view.
âThe Chantry isn't exactly a life for rambunctious boys,â I say, which is true but also completely beside the point. âThey taught me to be a gentleman. Especially in the presence ofââ
âDon't.â
I stop. She's looking at me like I've just suggested we abandon the mission to open a cheese shop.
âDon't do the gentleman thing.â She gestures at me. At the road. At the frankly impressive amount of darkspawn viscera we're both wearing like the world's worst fashion statement. âYou're a Grey Warden. You're covered in darkspawn ichor. You helped me loot several corpses today.â
Oh. Well. When she puts it that way, the gentleman routine does seem a bit absurd. I laughâactual, genuine laughter, because she's right and somehow that's both mortifying and wonderful.
âStill,â I try, because I'm nothing if not a man prepared to die on any number of hills. âthere's more to it than being polite and presentable, isn't there? Being honorable. Considerateââ
âDid the Chantry teach you that?â
Did they? Honestly, I don't know anymore. Maybe I learned it from somewhere. Maybe it's just something I tell myself so I feel less like a fraud.
âThey'd like to think so,â I admit. âIf I got the idea from them, their books, or sheer improvisation is⊠debatable.â
âI think it's just you.â
That right there. That's the thing that completely destroys me.
My face is on fire. Actual fire. There's nothing I can do to stop it. She thinks it's me. None of the things I've been hiding behind my entire life. Just me.
Which is either the kindest thing anyone's ever said to me or...
âIs that what you really think?â
âYes. So. Are you interested or not?â
Interested. Right. The question. The one I've been avoiding.
Am I interested? Of course I'm interested. I've been interested since... far too soon to be reasonable, probably.
âIâyes. Obviously.â Brilliant start, Alistair. Very smooth. âAnd apparently you have no shame. Am I sweating? This interrogation will haunt me forever.â
âYou're interested. Are you sure?â
Am I sure? What kind of question is that? Of course I'mâ
Oh, she thinks I'm the kind of person who says yes when they mean no just to be polite. Which, fair, I suppose I am that person sometimes. But not about this.
âAll right. I'll play along.â
The moment the words leave my mouth, I know I've made a catastrophic error. Her expression shifts. Not irritationâsomething worse. Confusion.
âWhat does that mean?â
Nothing. Everything. I don't know. I'm trying to sound casual and failing spectacularly.
âNothing. Forget it. I shouldn't have saidâlook, I have cheese!â
Cheese. I'm offering her cheese. This is my life now.
Her hand catches my wrist before I can reach my pack. I can feel my pulse hammering against her palm like it's trying to escape.
âAlistair.â
Just my name. That's all. But the way she says it makes something in my chest twist sideways. Everything except this moment feels very far away.
âWhat do you want? Or don't. Just tell me.â
What do I want?
I want to be the person she seems to think I amâhonorable and kind and worthy of⊠whatever this is. But that's not what she's asking, is it?
âYou're terrifying,â I admit, and it comes out more honest than I meant it to.
âIs that why you're avoiding me? Or are you just⊠shy?â
Shy. That's one word for it.
âI'm not avoiding you.â Her hand's still on my wrist. âI'm avoiding⊠this. The part where I ruin it.â
Because I will. I get close to something good and then I panic and say something stupid or do something clumsy and it falls apart. Like every friendship I tried to build at the monastery. Like Duncan, who saw potential in me and then died before he could regret it.
âHas it occurred to you that deciding in advance what I'll think is already doing that?â
Yes, that has occurred to me. For all the difference it makes.
ââŠAh.â
This is definitely going well.
Emma steps back. Gives me space. Her hand leaves my wrist and the cold air rushes in to replace it.
âSo. You are interested. You're sure.â
âYes.â Finally. A simple answer. âI'm sorry. I'm making this harder than it needs to be.â
âStop apologizing. It's exhausting.â
Right. Right. Apologizing is also making it worse. But she's still standing here. Still looking at me like I'm not a complete disaster. That means... something.
I study her. Her dark eyes. The way she's holding herselfârelaxed but stubborn, like she's always ready. She's decided I'm worth this conversation. This patience. This frankly heroic tolerance for my nonsense.
The least I can do is try not to waste it.
ââŠI'll try.â
âGood.â
Then: âDoes this mean the interrogation is over?â
âFor now.â
âThank the Maker. I was running out of absurd metaphors.â
âThe lamppost was your best work.â
I smile. Not the nervous kind. âI'll take that as a compliment.â
We're walking again. The road stretches ahead. The Blight's still happening. The world's still ending. But right now, in this moment, I'm walking next to Emma and she knows I'm interested and I haven't completely ruined everything.
Yet.
Redcliffe's waiting, full of complicated history and probably-awkward reunions.
Give me time. I'm sure I'll find a way to mess this up. But maybeâjust maybeâshe'll still be there when I do.
Morrigan materialized beside her without warning, the way she always didâno footsteps, just sudden presence.
âHave you noticed,â Morrigan said idly, eyes on the treeline, âhow some men seem to shrink the moment they are seen?â
âSome men? You don't want to be specific?â
Morrigan smiled, thin and private. âNo, I do not.â
Emma kept walking. She waited. Morrigan absently turned a twig as they walked. Eventually, she ignited the twig, only to cast it aside when it turned to char.
âFine, we shall have it your way,â Morrigan said. âYou have been glancing at him for the past quarter-mile.â
Emma didn't deny it. âI'm thinking.â
âTell me something. When you look at him, what is it you see?â
âMany things. Why do you ask?â
âYou seem... drawn to him. I wonder why.â
âHe'sââ Emma paused, searching for words. âHe's good. Genuinely good. I trust him.â
âGood,â Morrigan repeated, as if tasting something sour. âHow quaint.â
âTrue. 'Good' is an old classic.â
Morrigan smiled at that.
âYou are quite patient with him. Tis tiresome to watch, truly.â
Emma shrugged. âHeâs worth patience.â
âPatience is but a mild description. You explain yourself as if he were a nervous animal who might bolt if startled.â
âYes. He is that animal.â
Morrigan laughed.
âYour candor tis refreshing, at least,â Morrigan's voice stayed light, conversational. âBut that is not my point.â
âThere is a particular sort of man,â the witch continued, her gaze still fixed on Alistair's back, âand by that I do mean, an unworthy sort of man,â she emphasized, âHe will seem humble. Grateful. Safe, even.â
Something in Emma's chest tightened. âAnd?â
âIf you choose such a man, and persist with him, he will eventually prove himself right.â Morrigan turned to look at her then, golden eyes steady. âHe will show you exactly why he believes he does not deserve you.â
âThat'sââ Emma cut herself off. âYou think heâll hurt me? Is that the warning?â
âI am merely suggesting: Such a man will make his lack of worth your problem. He will give you a reason. One you cannot argue away.â
âWhy are you telling me this?â
Morrigan tilted her head, considering. âBecause you are intelligent enough to hear it, and foolish enough to ignore it. 'Tis a fascinating combination.â
âYou mistake shame for a wound,â she added. âYou think it can be tended. It cannot. It is a belief. And beliefs, when threatened, defend themselves.â
âBeliefs change.â
âEver the healer and tender of wounds, I see.â
âI'm good at it,â Emma appeared to be considering the metaphor deeply. She stopped walking. Ahead, Alistair glanced back, checking on them. She waved him forward.
Later, when the truth came out, Emma would not remember the warning whole.
Only the last part.
He will show you why.
Emma turned her head toward him, distracted but curious. âHm?â
He began, fumbling despite having rehearsed, âI told you Arl Eamon took me in, raised me until the Chantry got me. The reason he did that was becauseâwellâbecause my father was King Maric. Which made Cailan my⊠half-brother, I suppose.â
ââŠWhat?â
Theyâd seen darkspawn in endless tides, abominations clawing through the swamp, spiders bigger than men. But thisâthis made her blink. In better circumstances, Alistair would be fascinated by this, but for once he could not allow himself to get distracted.
âI would have told you, butâit never really meant anything to me. I was inconvenient, a possible threat to Cailanâs rule, so they kept me hidden. Iâve never spoken of it to anyone.â
âReally?,â she prodded, sharply. He dropped his gaze, shame pulling at his shoulders.
âItâs not like it matters. I didnât want you to thinkââ
âYou donât want me to think,â She repeated, folding forearms tight against her ribs. The mill-wheel groaned a counterpoint, âNot after Ostagar. Not in Lothering. When assassins were on our heels. All I do is think about it! But you let me make decisions without knowingââ
She stopped. You let me make decisions without knowing all the reasons why someone might want you dead.
âI justâŠâ His hands came up, open, pleading. She turned her back on him and paced the bridge.
âI didnât want you to like me because of it. I wanted you to like me for me,â His entire body recoiled at his own words. What was he saying? Why did he keep talking?
âThis isââ She broke off, circling back toward him. He expected Emma would continue to yell at him, but she went quiet, simmering. Fatigued. âYouâre worried about me liking you?â
Congratulations, you absolute idiot, Alistair thought. You got what you wantedâshe certainly doesn't like you more for it. Would that have been so terrible?
âIâm leading fugitives and apostates across Ferelden, fighting the Blight, dodging the most powerful man in the kingdom who wants us deadââ She gestured at him as if he were an accusation embodied. âAnd you let me walk into this?â
He felt himself shrink into the word. This.
âI didn't want you to know, as long as possible,â he apologized, âI can explain. Everyone who knew either resented me or coddled me. Even Duncan kept me from the fighting because of it.â
âYou put me in a blind spot, Alistair,â Emma shivered without the warmth of her anger. She recalled King Cailan at the war table, the night he died: Send Alistair and the new Grey Warden, EmelynâŠ
Why her? What did Cailan know? What did Loghain know? Her mind was reeling, realizations were clicking into place. The sound of the mill's churning through water made her feel nauseated.
âMaker, Emma, I didnât meanâI mean, I do see that now. I hated keeping it from you,â Alistair recognized unasked questions in her halting expression. He'd lost her trust; His voice wasn't strong against its absence. âI hated it. But the alternativeâif I told you, it would just⊠change everything.â
Change everything. The words were hollow, for being self-fulfilling.
The Veil pressed down around them, stretched taut and thin. Whatever horror stirred upriver was pulling at the fabric of the world.
Emma planted both hands on the rail, steadying herself. She closed her eyes, reaching inward, searching for guidance.
Nothing, just a dreadful and vague sickness... and the frantic sound of Alistair's anxious, rushing pulse, amplified on her by the veil's tension.
He realized, she wasn't just angry. She was scared... He didnât know what to do with that, nor could he tolerate the following silence, only the steady flow of water between them.
âSo there you have it. Now we can move on. Pretend Iâm still just some nobody who got too lucky to die with the rest of the Wardens.â
She was still refocusing their recent past. Of course he had been so upset. He knew all along their posting at Ishal wasn't really just an easy errand for two junior Wardens. His blood had spared and doomed both of them.
âIs that what you think?â
He shrugged, âNo... I think I was lucky to survive with you,â and turned on his heel so suddenly she straightened from the rail, while he was practically running away. She let him go.
Morrigan studied Emma with patient curiosity. The fire crackled between them.
âYes indeed, I asked Flemeth that very thing. The day we pulled you from the tower.â
âAnd?â
âAnd she told me nothing useful.â Morrigan shrugged. Mother had smiled that infuriating smile, as if the question were that of a child. âAll in due time, my girl.â Due time.
âNow you know: She rescued the other brother. Why?â
âI do not know, Warden.â
âSpeculate, then.â
There it was, againâan edge of desperation beneath the command.
âMy mother is a complex creature, if not transparent. Perhaps she had grander designs that Cailan could not serve. Perhaps it was no plan at all, and merely circumstance. She may have simply chosen the better swordsman, or the one who is also a Grey Warden. It is logical enough, yes?â
âYou really donât know?â
Morrigan raised her eyebrows.
âInterrogate me all you wish, Warden. My answer will not change, and I have no patience for your doubts. Either believe me, or do not. But choose.â
There was a commotion behind themâraised voices, quickly hushed. Leliana, on damage control. Emmaâs shoulders tensed. She wanted to look back.
âYou do not trust him now. That much is obvious. And yetâ to be fair to you, youâve shown a real talent for recognizing the hidden depths in mediocrity.â
Emma frowned slightly. âThatâs not what this is about.â
âI have complimented your judgment, and you⊠glower at me? Are you quite sure you do not wish to gloat? I believe the phrase is âI told you soâââ
âNo.â
Morriganâs eyes narrowed. âOh. Oh, I see. Youâre worried about him. How tedious.â
âI want to know why weâre here. And why should I believe anything you say.â
âAh yes, a pitiful inquiry, the philosophy of the weak: âWhy me?â Does it matter? Flemeth saved whom she saved. I have no reason to lie to you. The truth benefits me. Your trustâsuch as it isâbenefits me. Shall I continue listing reasons, or would you prefer to waste more time?â
âIt mattersâŠTeach me to shapeshift.â
âI beg your pardon?â
âYou heard me. Please.â
âAh. So thatâs what this is about, then?â She stood, brushing dirt from her robes. âVery well. But know thisâshifting your form will not make you any less yourself.â
âIâm counting on that,â she was more interested in others, no doubt.
âShapeshifting is not like your magic. It requires you to let go of yourself entirely, even as you remain present. Quite a paradox, yes? It is rather like trust, in that way,â Morrigan prodded, never one to let a difficult subject go.
âNow youâre philosophical.â
âI suppose so. I cannot help but think Mother would appreciate the irony,â Morrigan mused, ââhere is this Warden, who she rescued, asking me to teach her the very same skill she used to keep her own secrets.â
âDo you appreciate the irony?â
Morrigan just smiled.
He looked up as she approached, wariness on his face before he schooled it away.
âGot something for you,â Emma said.
The ornate leather belt lay across Emma's palms like in offering. Wolves embossed in the leather, silver threading through like morning mist. The buckle itself was just solid, functional. Beautiful in a way that had nothing to do with vanity.
His eyes dropped to the belt. Something shifted in his expressionânostalgic.
âThat's...â he took it in. âThat's nice.â
âIt's an upgrade.â She held it out. âTo hold against what's coming tonight.â
This new belt would replace the first piece she'd ever handed him, back at Ostagar. When the stakes felt manageable. He'd worn it every day since.
Alistair took the new belt. âYou've been gearing me up.â
âYou're my tank,â Emma said flatly. âIf you go down, we all do.â
âRight.â His voice was careful. âTactical.â
She nodded. Emma by now had replaced his pauldrons, his gauntlets, his boots. Piece by piece, she'd been armoring him. Making him harder to kill.
Alistair unbuckled the old belt slowly. The leather was worn soft where it had rested against his hips, darkened with sweat and road dust. He hesitated before setting it aside.
âThe wolves are a nice touch,â he said, threading the new belt through his armor. âVery ferocious.â
âThey hunt in packs,â Emma said. âSeemed appropriate.â
âThank you.â
She turned and left. More fortifications to see to, no doubt.
Owen's forge was cold when Emma found him, hunched over a cup that smelled like poison, layered in residue from being filled several times already. The stench hit her before she crossed the threshold. She suppressed an expression of disgust.
âMurdock needs you to repair the militia's armor,â Emma said without preamble.
Owen didn't look up. âDoes he now.â
âThey'll defend you better if they're not worried about their straps breaking.â
âThey'll die regardless.â He took another drink. âJust slower.â
Emma dragged a stool across the floor and sat. The forge was a gutted thing, ash scattered across the floor like dirty snow. âYour daughter's in the castle.â
That got his attention. His head jerked up, eyes red-rimmed and desperate. âYou've seen her?â
âNo. But if we live through the night, I'll go in. I'll look for her.â
âWill you.â It wasn't a question. His voice was flat, hopeless. âMurdock said the same damned thing and I didn't believe him either.â
âI'm not Murdock.â
âNo.â Owen set his cup down hard. âYou're something else entirely, aren't you? A mage. A Grey Warden. Someone who actually mightââ He stopped himself, shaking his head. âI want a promise. Promise me you'll look for her. That you'll bring her back if you can.â
âWhat's stopping me from lying to you?â she asked Owen.
âNothing besides your conscience.â His voice cracked. âYou got one of them?â
âLast time I checked.â
âThen I'll take what I can get and leave the rest to the Maker's grace.â
He was drunk, but not a fool. Did he not just ask her to lie, to give him hope? He knew the truth.
âI promise you. I'll find her.â
Owen's shoulders sagged. âI'll accept that. It's something to hope for, at least.â
He rekindled the forge with shaking hands. âI've got a lot to do now,â he said to no one in particular. âSo you'll have to excuse me.â
Emma left him to it. The sound of the bellows followed them out onto the landing above the lake.
Sten waited. Emma felt his shadow before she saw him, the Qunari looming at the entrance like a disapproving monument.
âIs this a promise we will not keep?â Sten spoke squarely.
Owen looked up, startled. âWhat's this?â
âI said nothing to you, human.â
âWe'll keep it if we can,â she said quietly.
âAnd if we cannot?â
âThen I'll have lied to a desperate man to get him to do his job. Would you prefer I let him drink himself to death?â
âI would prefer we speak truth.â
âTruth doesn't forge armor.â
Mother Hannah's quarters in the chantry were sparse, ascetic. A single window let in weak afternoon light that did nothing to warm the stone.
âSer Perth needs holy protection for the knights,â Emma said, sighing.
The Revered Mother's expression didn't change. âI have done all I can for them. I pray for them each night and seek the Maker's forgiveness for their sins before they face their deaths. What Ser Perth seeks is not in my power to give.â
âCan't you just bless them?â
âI can pray with them and give them my blessing.â Mother Hannah's voice was patient, practiced. âBut Ser Perth wants me to call upon the Maker to shield them from evil.â
Alistair shifted beside Emma. âWell, can't you just tell him the Maker will watch over him? Morale is a powerful thing, you know.â
âYou mean you want me to let them think the Maker protects them in a real sense?â The Revered Mother's tone sharpened. âI will not lie to them like that.â
Emma felt the words forming before she fully understood them. âBut if they think it helps themââ
Leliana made a small sound of protest.
Emma kept going, voice level. ââThat's protection.â Arguably real.
Mother Hannah's hands clasped together, knuckles white. âIt just seems like trickery.â
âNot if it works.â
The silence stretched. Mother Hannah's gaze moved between themâthe Wardens. One an ex-templar, another a Circle mage. Accompanied by a woman who carried herself like a lay sister. Three people who should have known better.
âVery well,â she said finally. âIf it keeps them alive, I will do what I must.â She moved to a locked chest, producing a velvet pouch. âI have a number of silver-cast holy symbols. Tell Ser Perth that wearing them will confer the Maker's protection.â
The pouch settled heavy in Emmaâs palm.
âNow please,â Mother Hannah said, voice carefully empty. âLet me tend to these poor folk.â
They left in silence. Outside, Leliana finally spoke.
âMust we do this? The faith that will protect these men must come from their hearts, surely.â
âTheir hearts wanted silver,â she said.
The amulets clinked softly in the pouch.
Ser Perth accepted the holy symbols with reverence that made Emma's stomach turn.
âMother Hannah has seen sense at last,â he said, holding one of the silver medallions up to the light. âThese are blessed by the Maker himself, not the work of mages.â
Emma bit back the obvious response. The symbols were silver. Expensive. Well-made. Something to make the knights fight harder, or clutch while dying. Regardless, they'd believe they could survive. That had value. Didn't it?
She didn't like it; But she didn't owe them truth.
âI do not approve of magery and such,â Ser Perth continued, apparently oblivious to the mage standing directly in front of him. âBut the symbols of the Chantry are holy and righteous.â
These men were more fools than Owen, taking for granted her magic that would more literally help them in the coming battle.
âRight,â Emma said flatly. âVery righteous.â
Alistair's face was divided by a warning look, a smirk, and something else. She quickly looked away.
âWe'll hold the windmill,â Ser Perth declared. âWith the Maker's protection, we cannot fail.â
As the sun set, Redcliffe village hummed with anxious preparation. Ser Perth's knights pinning emblems to armor straps. Murdock's voice cutting through the evening air, trying to organize fishers and farmers into something resembling a defensive line. The smell of fish mingled with wood smoke.
Emma sat by the campfire in Redcliffeâs makeshift staging area. Close enough for warmth, far enough for shadow, between the militiaâs supply tent and the chantryâs edge. Her legs stretched out, boots crossed at the ankle. The empty velvet pouch still in her hands. Muffin curled against her hip, nose twitching in his nap.
She told Owen she'd find his daughter. She'd given Ser Perth his amulets.
The worst part was knowing it worked. The militia would fight better. The knights would hold longer. Owen would survive the night because he had something to live for, even if that something was built on her bullshit.
Duncan had done the same thing to her. Given her a role she never asked for, made it necessity, made her complicit.
She'd also done real things. Owen's equipment was real. So were the mercenaries she bullied to join the fight. The spy. Even the bartender. Lloyd was no fighter. Why? Because he was a prick, that's why.
And she'd equipped Alistair piece by piece, armoring him against a world that wanted him dead. Against himself, sometimes.
It felt good. But how is weaponizing a person better than weaponizing belief and empty promises?
The amulets would help. The promises might hold. The suit might keep Alistair alive. Long enough to stand in front of her.
Emma tucked the pouch away. Leliana approached her with careful footfalls, soft but audible. She carried two tin cups, steam rising from both.âTea,â she said, offering one. âI made it very strong.â
Emma took it. It was moderately strong. âThank you.â
Leliana settled beside her, close. They sat listening to the fire crack and people speaking too loudly, moving too quickly, trying to outpace the knowledge that darkness would bring monsters. Alistairâs distant voice rising in debate with Sten.
âYou've been quiet,â Leliana observed.
âI'm always quiet.â
âMore than usual.â Leliana sipped her tea. âIs it about what we discussed earlier? The... information management?â
Emma's fingers tightened on the cup. Information management. A very serviceable euphemism.
âPartly,â Emma said. âYou've been helpful. Thank you.â
âOf course.â Leliana's voice stayed light, almost cheerful. âDangerous secrets have a way of escaping at exactly the wrong moment. Better to control the narrative.â
Another competent phrase, from someone who'd done this before.
Emma studied her profile in the firelight. Young face. Warm expression. The kind of approachability that made people confess things.
âWhat were you doing in Lothering's chantry?â Emma asked abruptly.
Leliana blinked, surprised by the pivot. âI was a lay sisterââ
âWhat was someone like you doing there?â
âSomeone like me?â
âSomeone dangerous.â
A small smile tugged at Leliana's mouth. âDid you think I was always a cloistered sister?â
âNo.â Emma sipped her tea. âI couldn't decide if you're a terrible liar or a brilliant one. Now I know.â
Leliana laughedâa genuine sound of delight.
âThe bird incidentâ is it true?â
âLady Elise's hair disaster?â Leliana's eyes crinkled. âThat was true!â
âIt's absurd, but I believe you.â
Leliana smiled. âOh, you pick things up when you travel, as you know. People talk. I learned to listen carefully.â
âI was a traveling minstrel in Orlais. Before the Chantry. Tales and songs, performances for coin...â She paused, considering her words. When she spoke, her voice had lost its usual lightness. âAnd yes. Sometimes the performance extended beyond the stage.â
âAnd the information management?â Emma asked mildly.
âSometimes you find yourself in situations where knowing who to trust becomes complicated.â
âIn Orlais, a single misplaced word can destroy you. Everyone believes you're something you're not, and the truth becomes irrelevant. So you learn how to speak carefully. How to make sure the right people hear the right things.â
âAnd the wrong people don't,â Emma finished.
âExactly.â
âBut that life is behind me now. The Chantry provides succor and safe harbor to all who seek it. I chose to stay and become affirmed.â
âAffirmed?â
âWe affirm our belief in the Maker, in Andraste and the Chant. But other than that, there are no vows taken. We're free to leave.â
âI never imagined leaving would look like this.â Leliana smiled, rueful. âBut the Maker's plans are rarely what we expect.â
âYou don't have to tell me everything,â Emma said finally. âBut I need to know where I stand.â
Leliana met her eyes. âYou want to be sure I won't let you work with false assumptions.â
âYes.â
Across the chantry courtyard, Sten's voice rumbled something disapproving at a militiaman who'd just dropped his spear. Alistair laughed, then immediately tried to help the man recover his dignity.
âYou're angry at him,â Leliana observed, âbut you're also protecting him.â
âWell,â Emma was taken back. It should have been unsurprising. She drank the tea, letting the bitter heat settle in her chest. âOf course.â
âI won't.â Leliana's voice steadied. âI promise. If something mattersâif it could hurt you or the people you're protectingâI'll tell you.â
Emma nodded once.
âThank you.â
âHave I ever told you... I do like the way you wear your hair,â Leliana said, pivoting with practiced ease.
Emma's hand moved to her hair before she could stop herself. âI grew it myself.â
Leliana chuckled.
âOh, I see. It's very practical. Simple. Not like the elaborate styles in OrlaisâI told you about Lady Elise and her birds, when feathers were fashionable. We were weaving ribbons and jewels into these towering...â She gestured above her head. âArchitectural achievements. It took hours.â
âSounds exhausting.â
âIt was.â Leliana's voice was warm, easy. âI suppose we don't have much choice on the road. No ladies' maids to help with complicated braiding.â
Emma felt something twist in her. She suppressed a memory of Areli's hands working through her hair each morning. How she'd cut it all off, after.
âNo,â she said. âWe don't.â
If Leliana noticed the shift in Emma's tone, she didn't acknowledge it. She just kept talking, filling the space with stories about Orlesian fashion disasters and court gossip, and somehow it was... comforting. The steady stream of words asked nothing of Emma except to listen.
âI feel very comfortable talking to you,â Leliana said after a while. âLike I could say anything and you wouldn't judge me.â
Emma considered this. âI might judge you silently.â
Leliana laughed. âYou see? You play along with me. Not many people do that.â Her voice softened. âI haven't felt this close to anyone in a long time. I really enjoy your company.â
âDo you often enjoy the company of women?â
Leliana's smile was mischievous. âAnd what would you do if I said I do? Very much so, in fact?â
âI'd be flattered you like my company.â
âThere's no one else I'd rather spend time with.â Leliana's was steady, warm. Direct. For a moment. Just a moment, while her blue eyes held Emma's with an openness that felt both inviting and vulnerable.
Then she stood, brushing off her leather pleated skirt. âCome on then. If I recall correctly, you have some important earth-shattering business to attend to? Villages to save, that sort of thing?â
Emma stood as well, feeling the ache in her legs. âSomething like that.â
Emma stood near the center of the defensive line, staff planted in clay. The lake shimmered far below them. She focused on the hill; sheâd memorized every route they could force the undead through.
âRemember,â Murdock's voice was confident, âthey'll come down fast. Hold them at the bottleneck. Don't get drawn out into open ground.â
Sten positioned himself to Murdock's left, his massive two-handed blade resting against one shoulder. The qunari said nothing, his expression as if carved from basalt. He tested his grip on the weapon's hilt.
A distant howl rolled down the rocky hillside. The sound was neither human nor animal, twisted by demonic magic into a mockery of life. Morrigan positioned herself, choosing high ground. Her golden eyes met Emma's, then drifted toward the lake.
âHere they come,â Murdock warned.
âLeliana, ridge position,â Emma called their strategy for the militia. âPerthâspears center. Alistairâforward wedge.â
Murdock echoed her orders. The repetition steadied the line. The unmistakable stench of rot carried on the wind. Something tripped on the slope and kept coming.
Then another.
A shambling corpse hit the torchlight at a run, armor clanking, jaw working soundlessly. Two more followed, then a dozen, sliding downhill on loose gravel in uneven clusters. Some gripped maces with boney fists.
Ser Perth's knights braced their shields, forming a wall of steel. Emma lifted her staff. Electricity gathered at the tipâmana humming steady and deep in her veins.
Morrigan struck first.
A sheet of frost blasted across the hillside, freezing corpses mid-lunge. They became brittle obstacles. The next wave stumbled into them, tripping, tangling.
She didnât get time for a second cast.
Emma released the spell. Lightning chained corpse to corpse along the line Morrigan had prepared, the current dragging through her arms like a whipcrack. It skipped wider than intended, scraping a shield rim hard enough to jolt the knight behind it. He swore, barely keeping his footing. Frozen flesh shattered to glittering shards under thermal shock.
Alistair barreled into the corpses still standing, his shield turning them to rubble with each blow. The knights pushed forward behind him.
Shouts of villagers echoed up the hill. Lelianaâs arrows pierced skulls. More shambling corpses arrived before anyone could catch a breath.
A wet shuffle. A dry-dragging moan. Morrigan heard it first, head snapping toward the water.
The lakeâs surface rippled outward. A bony hand punched through the surface and grabbed the dock.
âThey are flanking us,â Morrigan announced, lips curling.
Corpses surfaced like drowned lumberâlimbs tangled in soaked cloth, ribcages glistening with algae and lake-weed. They clawed onto the dock in a series of wet slapping thuds, half-sliding and half-crawling across the planks.
Villagers near the water screamed. Tomas shouted from the evacuation posts for reinforcements. Alistair reacted instantly, helping redirect militia downhill while the knights held the front.
A handful of terrified villagers sprinted toward the water. Emma pivoted, staff lifting. A corpse lurched toward the civilians on the dock. Her lightning struck it back.
âMorriganâgo. Take the lake,â Emma ordered, as recoil shuddered up her wrists.
The witch moved without hesitation, rolling downhill as a dark blur, emerging as a massive spider to web the dockside undead in sticky nets. Leliana shifted position, nailing stragglers that slipped through gaps.
A second villager screamed from the shallows as skeletal hands grasped at her legs. Alistair sprinted to intercept, his blade cutting through a half-rotted corpse before it could drag the woman under the water.
The undead converged from both sidesâthe castle hill and the lake shore.
Alistair darted through the chaos with reckless precision, intercepting blows aimed at farmers still holding with their spears, clad in hastily repaired leathers.
A spear slipped from numb fingers and skidded across the planks. The man who dropped it turned and ran. Two others followed.
Emma thrust her staff sideways. The shockwave caught the fleeing men mid-stride and flung them back toward the fight, into the mud.
Her lightning cracked; Her heal propped up another spearman before he fell. A corpse turned toward her immediately. She scanned the hillside frontâPerth's knights were holding but taking injuries. Sten held the left flank almost alone, his blade scattering bone and meat in brutal arcs.
Another wave surged from the lake, water streaming from empty eye sockets. Emma swept stunning electricity across the water around them.
The skeletons struggled against the stun as fish bobbed to the surface. Alistair peeled them off as they dragged themselves into her aggressive current.
âTheyâre coming from everywhereââ He yelled, throwing an axe into one closing on her.
She barely heard him. Every time one fell within her field, she felt its echo. Each death fed her back a pulse of strength, sharp and intoxicating. Her magic was a turret of artillery and panacea, a conduit routing energy from a layer of death.
The hillside roared with chaosâgravel skidding under boots, steel ringing on bone, magic cracking through wet air.
A villager staggered too close to the shallows. A corpse grabbed his coat. Emma blasted it without blinking. Electricity convulsed through the skeleton and dumped it back into the water, sizzling. Alistair pivoted to finish another.
The militia at the lake were being overwhelmed. There were too many on Sten. They were reaching Murdock and his men, his voice hoarse with pain.
Lloyd crushed one skull flat. The body folded. Three more stepped into its place. A militiaman beside him went down, clutching a gaping wound. Alistair was calling for help, hacking toward them, but from the other side.
Emma's fingers clenched around her staff. The lakeâshe'd been letting Morrigan handle that flank. But the witch turned spider was struggling to web the endless stream of waterlogged corpses crawling from the depths. She looked back; Perth's knights were pinned at the choke point.
She was the only one who could move.
Emma sprinted downhill toward the lake, heart pounding, robes whipping behind her. She shouldered past fleeing villagers, dodged a fallen barricade, and skidded to a stop near the water's edge, behind Alistair as he tried to break through the melee. The docks were slick with algae and blood.
Corpses surrounded the militia on three sides. Lloyd swung his club again, cracking a skull, but a skeletal hand raked across his back. He staggered. The man in front of him was already down, unmoving.
Emma raised her staff. Her mind reached out, slamming into the corpses like a battering ram, a sphere pushing out with psychic force.
The world went still.
Corpses locked in place around her, mouths open, weapons half-raised. For a heartbeat, nothing moved but her own shaking breath.
âNow!â Emma screamed.
Murdock and his militia surged forward, hacking down the stunned undead. Lloyd drove his club through a rotting skull. Sten thundered into the fray from the left, his massive blade sweeping through the paralyzed corpses like wheat.
But Emma was exposed. A corpse lurched from behind, its mace rising. She spun, staff coming up too slow. The mace whistled downward and brained her, knocking her to her knees into the dock. Her vision became clouded, burst by stars.
Steel punched through a ribcage inches from her face. The corpse collapsed. Alistair kicked it aside. He shoved her behind him, hitting her shoulder hard enough to spin her, shield already up, deflecting another blow meant for her head.
Emma tried to raise her staff again. Nothing came. Her head rang, mana guttered.
Sten arrived beside them, his greatsword carving space in an arc, positioning himself between the Wardens and the water.
Emma downed a potion; She couldn't waste the opening. She poured healing into the militiaâMurdock's bleeding shoulder sealed shut, a villager's broken ribs knitted enough to breathe. She blasted stunned corpses with lightning, converting their deaths into mana she needed.
But Lloyd was already down. She didn't even see, only felt. No beat of life to catch. Just a puff of mana where he had been. She channeled it into everything she had left. Lightning crackled across the docks. Healing pulsed through her companions in a wave.
The undead finally broke. The last waterlogged corpse collapsed under Sten's blade, its skull split clean through. Silence rolled across the docks, broken only by ragged breathing and the lap of water against wood.
Emma lowered her staff slowly, face bloody, swaying on her feet. Trembling with her energy dispersing into the damp ground. Alistair caught her shoulders, steadying her.
Murdock knelt beside Lloyd's body, his weathered face stony. The fallen militiaman lay a few feet away, eyes open and empty.
Emma looked around in a daze, toward the lake. The water had gone still. The surviving militia stood in stunned silence. Perth's knights regrouped at the barricades. Morrigan scuttled toward them as villagers stared warily.
âHelp her,â she heard Alistair demand, distantly, while he nudged her to sit. Morrigan reformed from and keeled next to them, pressing a poultice to Emma's bleeding temple.
âIf you hadn'tâ Maker's Breath. You were incredible,â Alistair said quietly, removing his helmet. Sweat matted his hair to his forehead, and a manic grin of surviving by inches split his face.
Leliana approached from the ridge, offering Emma a waterskin. She took it, grounding herself with the weight of it in her hands.
âI will help check the villagers,â Leliana said softly. âSome are injured, but hiding it.â
âPride is a dangerous thing on a battlefield.â Morrigan scoffed.
Emma nodded. Forced herself to focus. âHannahâs ready for the injured. Tell everyone else to hold positions. We need the perimeter secured before any more surprises.â
Murdock stood slowly, leaving Lloyd's body. His expression was hard, controlled. âWe hold,â he agreed. âFor the ones we lost.â
Her mind was already moving ahead. She looked over the hillside, counting bodies, intact shields, broken spears, evaluating how long they could hold if dawn didnât come soon enough.
Almost everyone survived.
Emma sat on the windmill steps, pressing a field dressing to her forehead with one hand. The wound had closed cleanly under her hands, but the jelly inside her skull remained scrambled.
Alistair approached from the direction of the barricades, armor caked in layers she didn't want to identify. He stopped a careful distance away, close enough to speak without shouting.
âMurdock's organizing the cleanup,â he said. âSer Perth wants to burn the corpses before noon. Smart. The smell's already...â
He trailed off. She nodded once.
âHow's your head?â
âBetter.â
He sat across from her, in silence.
He knew this was coming since they left Lothering. Known it, dreaded it, spent several days hoping maybe a sinkhole would open up and swallow him before they arrived. No such luck.
âI should've told you,â Alistair said finally. âBefore we got here. Before any of this.â
Emma lowered the bandage. The blood on it was old, darkening at the edges.
âYes.â
âI kept thinking there'd be a better time. Or that it wouldn't matter. Orââ He stopped himself. âThere's no good excuse.â
She was watching the lake, expression empty.
The lake curled around the cliffs, under them: grey, vast, deeply familiar in a way that made Alistair's chest tight. He spent half his childhood sneaking down to the shore beneath. Skipping stones. Pretending he was anyone else.
âI'm... Maker, Emma. I'm so sorry.â
Pretending didn't work then, either.
âYou trusted me with... everything,â Emma said quietly. âThe villageââ She gestured vaguely at the survivors, the wreckage.
âEverything,â she repeated, frazzled. âbut not this...?â
âNo, please don't think that. It's not that I didn't trust you. It's...â
âThen why?â
âAnyone who's ever known has treated me differently. I stopped being Alistair and became the bastard prince.â He swallowed. âI liked that you didn't know. That you just... saw me.â
Emma looked at him. He looked down.
âAnd then after Ostagar, when I should have told you... I don't know, it just seemed like it was too late.â
Emma studied him. The sunlight caught the edge of his pauldron, still smeared with grime. He felt suddenly, acutely exhausted.
âWhy now?â she asked. âWhy tell me here?â
âBecause we're at Redcliffe.â He said it simply. âBecause Arl Eamon raised me. Because I couldn't...I just couldn't risk you finding out from someone else.â
âConsiderate.â
âI know how it sounds.â
âDo you want to be king?â
âNo.â No hesitation. No equivocation. âMaker, no. The very idea terrifies me.â
âI need to know something.â
âAnything.â
âWhen you stepped backââ She met his eyes. âIs it because you're avoiding something?â
âProbably. That's not the only reason.â
She waited. He forced himself not to rush.
âI'm good at fighting. I can hold a line. But planning ahead? I miss things. The obvious things. And the quiet ones.â He shook his head. âYou don't.â
She didnât deny it.
âAnd yes, maybe part of me is relieved not to carry that weight. But it's notââ He struggled for words. âYou're better at it. You are.â
âYou'd step in if I couldn't.â
âOf course I would. If you were dead or captured orââ He stopped himself. âYes. I'd have to. But I'd probably mess it all up. Maker help us, if we had to do it without you.â
His voice got soft. Like it was an actual prayer. She let out a slow breath.
The militia's voices drifted across the squareâshouts, laughter, exhaustion.
âI need to know your judgment wasnât just dodging destiny,â she said.
âFair,â he said again, quieter this time. âThat's... more than fair. I just trust you with this,â he said. âThat's why.â
They sat in silence. The sun climbed higher. Somewhere in the village, Leliana was singingâa working song.
Then, he heard Emma take a sharp breath, indignant. Something short of a laugh.
âYou trust me to save the world. You just didn't trust me with you.â
âThat'sââ He stopped. âYes. That's exactly it.â
âI know.â
âI'm sorry.â
âI heard you the first time.â
More silence. This one felt different. Less careful.
âFor what it's worth,â Alistair said, âyou put me on the front line last night. You could have pulled me back. Treated me like something fragile.â
âWhy would I?â
âBecause I'm aââ He gestured vaguely at himself. âProblem. A liability Loghain would love to get his hands on.â
Emma's expression sharpened. âPulling you back wouldn't keep you out of his hands.â
He exhaled. âThank you. For not doing that.â
âThere's nothing else you're keeping from me?â
âNo. Just the prince thing.â
The singing stopped. Someone called for water.
âWe should check on them,â Emma said, standing carefully.
He held out his arm to her. She took it without comment.
âAre we... all right?â
She considered that longer than he liked.
âI don't know,â she said. âWe are. In the ways that matter most.â
Later, when the bodies were burning, Emma found herself alone by the chantry.
She thought about Lothering.
The inn. The assassins. The decision she'd made in under a minute.
Alistair had objected. Quietly. But he'd backed her anyway. She was so certain. Two threats eliminated before they could report back. Leliana was horrified.
She'd been right. More right than she'd known.
Emma stared at the chantry's doors, at the scorch marks where fire had licked stone, at the village that had survived because she'd made a slow accumulation of decisions she couldn't take back, justified by outcomes she'd never fully understand.
Morrigan hadn't bothered to descend from her perch on the mill's upper platform, allowing the nobility to perform their crisis below while she catalogued exits.
Teagan stood before the mill, arms crossed in his fancy doublet. No armor. Staring at the castle across the lake, where ships floated idle and useless.
âOdd how quiet the castle looks from here,â Teagan said finally. âYou'd think there was nobody inside at all.â
The quiet was a problem. Redcliffe Castle should be teemingâservants, guards, dogs. Instead: nothing.
Teagan seemed reluctant to continue, butâ
âI shouldn't delay things further.â He turned to face them properly. âI had a planâto enter the castle after the village was secure. There's a secret passage here, in the mill. Accessible only to my family.â
âConvenient,â Emma said.
Alistair bit back a comment about how every noble family had a secret passage. It was like they competed: Oh, your ancestral home has a hidden tunnel? Well, ours has TWO. And a murder hole.
âPerhaps I should have gone in earlier, but I couldn't leave the villagersââ
Bann Teagan stopped mid-sentence. His face went slack with shock.
A woman and a man in mail emerged from the hill behind them. Her gown was mud-stained but unmistakably expensive. Arlessa Isolde.
Emma hated her on sight. All aristocratic panic, weaponized fragility, the kind of woman who'd learned to cry on command. With a very real reason to cry, besides. She gripped Teagan's sleeve instantly, desperately.
âTeagan!â She rushed forward, clutching at his arm. âThank the Maker you yet live!â
âI don't have much time to explain,â Isolde continued, breathless. âI slipped away from the castle as soon as I saw the battle was over. I must return quickly.â Her eyes darted between them, settling on Teagan. âI need you to return with me. Alone.â
âWhy don't we all go?â Emma asked.
Isolde poorly masked her offense with confusion. âWhat? I... who is this woman, Teagan?â
Alistair sighed. Loud enough to be pointed.
âYou remember me, Lady Isolde, don't you?â
Her face passed through recognition, then disgust, then a brittle attempt at composure that failed to stick.
âAlistair? Of all theâwhy are you here?â
Some things never change.
âThey're Grey Wardens, Isolde,â Teagan said quickly. âI owe them my life.â
âPardon me, I...â Isolde smoothed her skirts with trembling hands. The fabric was wrecked. âI would exchange pleasantries, but considering the circumstances...â
âPlease, Lady Isolde.â Alistair stepped forward, carefully neutral. âWe had no idea anyone was alive in the castle. We need answers.â
Isolde's eyes flicked to Emma, then back to him, looking like she'd bitten something sour.
âI don't know what is safe to tell,â she hesitated. âThere's a terrible evil within the castle. The dead waken and hunt the living. The mage responsible was caught, but still it continues.â
âAnd Connor...â Her voice cracked. âConnor is going mad. He's seen so much death. He won't flee the castle.â
Connor. Right. The son who belonged.
She was gripping both of Teagan's hands now. âYou must help him. You're his uncle. You could reason with him. I don't know what to do.â
âTell me about this mage,â Emma said.
Isolde's head snapped toward her. For a moment, her fragility hardened to something cold and calculating.
âHe's an infiltrator. One of the castle staff. We discovered he was poisoning my husband. That's why Eamon fell ill.â
âEamon was poisoned?â Teagan's voice rose.
âHe claims an agent of Teyrn Loghain hired him.â She released Teagan's hands, stepping back. âHe may be lying. I cannot say.â
Of course. Loghain again. As if the man werenât already haunting every corner of Ferelden.
âBut Eamon's alive?â Alistair asked.
âYes. Kept alive by...â She hesitated, choosing every word like picking through broken glass. âSomething the mage unleashed.â
âSo far it allows Eamon, Connor, and myself to live. Once it was done with the castle, it struck the village. It wants us to live, but I don't know why.â
From above, Morrigan shifted. Alistair caught the witch, hopping forward slightly, as a bird. Suddenly very interested in Isolde's word choice.
âIt allowed me to come for you,â Isolde said to Teagan, âbecause I begged. Because I said Connor needed help.â
âYou're not telling us everything,â Emma said. Alistair suppressed a smirk.
Isolde drew herself up, offense crackling through her posture like lightning through a rod. âI beg your pardon! That's a rather impertinent accusation!â
âNot if it's true.â
âAn evil I cannot fathom holds my son and husband hostage!â Isolde's voice climbed toward hysteria. âI came for help! What more do you want from me?â
âThe truth,â Emma said.
Isolde turned away, back to Teagan.
âI don't have much time. What if it thinks I'm betraying it? It could kill Connor.â Her voice dropped to a plea. âPlease come back with me. Must I beg?â
âIt's in control,â Emma warned the Bann.
âA demon, likely,â Alistair agreed.
Teagan's face had gone carefully blank. The look of a man making a decision he already regretted.
âThe king is dead,â Teagan said quietly. âWe need my brother more than ever. I'll return to the castle with you, Isolde.â
âThis is a mistake,â Emma said. âYou're going to get yourself killed.â
âI cannot let Isolde return alone.â Teagan met her eyes. His jaw was set. âPerhaps I can help Connor. Or Eamon. Perhaps this is a trap.â He glanced at Isolde, then back. âBut this is my family. I must try.â
Alistair stepped forward. âTeaganââ
âI have no illusions of dealing with this evil alone.â Teagan cut him off gently. âYou, on the other hand, have proven quite formidable.â
He pulled his signet ring from his finger, weighing it in his palm.
âHere's what I propose: I go in with Isolde. You enter the castle using the secret passage. My ring unlocks the door.â He held it out to Emma. âPerhaps I'll distract whatever's inside. Increase your chances of getting in unnoticed.â
Emma didn't take the ring immediately. She just looked at it.
âI can't let you do this,â she said. âIt's insane.â
âWhat choice do either of us have?â Teagan's smile was thin, tired. âIf your business with Eamon is important, you'll have to go inside to find him.â
âHe's right.â Alistair's voice was quiet. âWithout Arl Eamon, we'll never get the support we need.â
Teagan pressed the ring into Emma's palm. His hand lingered a moment too long. His fingers curled around hers, thumb brushing her wrist.
Alistair's jaw tightened. He felt the spike of irritation before he could stop it. He hated himself for it immediately.
Really? Now? When Teagan was about to walk into a demon-infested castle and probably die? Alistair had no claim on Emma, no excuse. This was exactly what Isolde had done: Seeing threats where there weren't any. Making everything about herself.
Teagan probably didnât even notice. He was always like this. Charm without effort. Touches that meant nothing and everything, depending on who you asked.
Emma pulled her hand away and stepped back. Alistair exhaled carefully.
âSer Perth and his men can watch the castle entrance. If you can open the gates from within, they'll move in to help.â Teagan mirrored her, also stepping back. âWhatever you doâEamon is the priority. If you have to, just get him out. Isolde, me, anyone else... we're expendable.â
Eamon. The man who'd raised him, then sent him away. The man who'd stopped visiting. Stopped pretending to care. Now they were risking everything to save him, and Maker, Alistair wanted to save him. Exceptâ
Emma closed her fingers around the ring.
âI understand,â she said. âI'll do my best.â
âYou're a good woman.â Teagan's voice softened. âThe Maker smiled on me when He sent you to Redcliffe.â
She crossed her arms and nodded once.
Leliana stepped forward, unable to contain herself any longer. âWe're just going to send him with that woman? It seems so dangerous!â
Isolde's head turned sharply. Her eyes raked over Lelianaâthe road dust, the simple clothes over leather, the lute strapped to her back. Leliana held her ground, chin lifted.
âI can delay no longer.â Teagan clasped Emma's shoulder briefly. âAllow me to bid you farewell. And good luck.â
He turned toward Isolde. She took his arm immediately, possessive, already pulling him toward the castle path.
They watched them go. Isolde's skirts swept the ground. Teagan walked very straight, very rigid. A man going to his execution.
âWell,â Alistair said after a moment. âThat's all very concerning, to say the least.â
â'Tis a trap,â Morrigan announced from above. âObviously.â
âWe know it's a trap,â Emma said.
âAnd you're walking into it anyway.â Morrigan descended the ladder with lazy grace. âShall we begin rescuing kittens from trees?â
Emma turned the ring over in her palm. Teagan's family crest glinted in the light.
âThe noblewoman knows,â Morrigan said.
Leliana looked at her. âKnows what?â
âWhat's controlling the castle. What happened to Connor.â Emma explained as she pocketed the ring. âShe's protecting something. Or someone.â
Morrigan's eyes gleamed. âThe boy, most likely. This nobly foolish family shows such suicidal loyalty.â
âAnd she wears Ferelden fabric with an Orlesian cut,â Leliana added, distressed. âThe worst of both worlds.â
Alistair smiled as Emma started toward the mill entrance. The others fell in behind her.
âAnd the mage?â He asked.
Emma paused at the threshold and looked back at him.
âWe'll deal with whoever it is,â she said. âIsn't that why you're here?â
âSure,â Alistair said, sighing. âAnd here I hoped my mage hunting would be limited to darkspawn.â
Inside, the mill was dark and close. Wooden beams groaned overhead. He watched Emma's fingers trace the stone as she searched for the door.
Emma found the door easilyâsmall, iron-bound, ancient. She fitted Teagan's ring into the lock. It turned with a soft click.
Cool air breathed up from below. Stone steps descended into darkness.
âRight,â Alistair said behind her. âSecret passages. My favorite.â
He tried very hard not to think about how many times he'd wished he could go home. Funny how wishes worked. You got what you wanted, just not the way you wanted it.
Home. What a joke. Getting jealous over nothing, like Isolde. Risking his neck for people who'd never cared about him in the first place. But what else was there to do? Walk away? Let Eamon die? Let Redcliffe fall?
No.
Emma summoned a wisp. The stairwell illuminated in pale blue.
âIf anyone asksâwe were invited,â she said. He could hear the smirk in her voice. And the weariness.
Morrigan's answering laugh echoed off stone.
âOh yes. Most cordially.â
They descended.
The positioning was impossible. Corpses didn't angle politely from one direction. They erupted from cells, dropped from ceiling grates, materialized from side passages.
Alistair had point because of course he did. The dungeon refused to cooperate. Emma caught aggro almost immediately.
Three corpses broke from the shadows on her flank. Her staff came upâglyph, blast, the usualâbut one got through. Its hand closed on her shoulder with surprising strength. She felt stitches tear in her side, a wound from earlier reopening with a wet heat that spread down her ribs.
âShit.â
She blasted electricity point-blank, the smell of charred flesh mixing with dungeon rot in a combination that would haunt her sinuses for days. Her hand pressed to her side, magic flowing automatically. The skin re-knitted. The bleeding stopped. The lyrium in her blood burned cold.
Alistair: âIt's like a perverse surprise party.â
âPerhaps,â Morrigan observed, âwe might consider not splitting the party in dungeons designed for maximum ambush potential.â
âNoted,â Emma said, teeth gritted.
Alistair was vibrating with suppressed concern and frustration. His shield work had gotten sharper, more aggressive.
Which was touching. Also slightly unhinged. Also not entirely unjustified.
They pushed deeper. More corpses. More healing. The dungeons provided enough death to keep her lyrium reserves fed. All she had to do was cast fast, and stay alive long enough to keep casting.
They stopped to take a breath.
âYou know, I locked myself in a cage once, when I was a child. For an entire day. Ahh, good times,â said Alistair idly, impatiently bouncing on his heels.
Emma rubbed her forehead, smirking ruefully.
The Circle would've mobilized templars. Heads would roll. Punishments would cascade through anyone remotely responsible for losing track of a child for even an hour. Care weaponized into total surveillance, every body accounted for, every minute documented.
But Alistair could disappear for an entire day, locked in a cage.
The dungeon opened into a hallway lined in cells, and there was a familiar voiceâ
âOh noâget away from me!â
Emma's entire body went cold in a way that had nothing to do with blood loss.
No.
âWas that a personâ?â Alistair started.
She obliterated the next corpse without bothering to aim properly. Lightning crackled wild, scorching stone, leaving scorch marks. They rounded the corner.
Jowan.
He looked like shit. Thinner than she remembered, bruised, chained to the wall.
Leliana: âOh, you poor thing.â
He looked up. His eyes went wide. He took the water from Leliana, but stared at Emma.
âBy all that's holy... you? I can't believe it.â
Outside his cell: a small pile of charred corpses, blackened and smoking. Blast radius defense. Amateurish, but effective.
Not blood magic. Probably.
Emma stared. Her grip on the staff tightened until her knuckles went white. Behind her, she could feel Alistair's posture shiftânot quite drawing his sword, but close. Ready.
âMaker's breath,â Jowan continued, words spilling out in that familiar nervous rush. âHow did you get here? I never thought I'd see you again, of all people.â
She said nothing. Just looked at him. At the chains. At the pathetic wreckage of someone she'd once known. Someone she'd once helped.
âSo you're the mage Lady Isolde mentioned,â she said finally. Her voice was flat enough to serve drinks on.
His face fell. âYou've spoken with her. Then... you know I poisoned Arl Eamon. For all I know, he's already dead.â
âHe's not dead. Yet.â
âHe's not? That's a relief. I can't tell you how muchââ
The thing was, she could tell he meant it. That made it worse somehow. Jowan had always been sincere. Sincerely desperate. Sincerely catastrophic.
âPlease,â he said, leaning forward as far as the chains allowed, âI know how it seems. Poisoning the arl was... a terrible thing. But I'm not behind everything else happening here, I swear!â
He paused. Took a breath that rattled in his chest. He was sick.
âBefore I say anything else, I need to ask you a question. You can do whatever you feel like you need to afterward, but I need to know...â His voice dropped to a whisper. âWhat became of Lily? They didn't hurt her, did they? The thought that she may have been punished for my crime...â
Emma studied him. She could lie. She could say nothing. She could let him twist in uncertainty for the rest of his miserable life.
âThe Chantry sent her away,â she said. âTo Aeonar.â
The color drained from his face like someone had pulled a plug.
âOh my poor Lily.â His voice broke. Actually broke. âShe must hate me now, if she even lives. What have I done?â
âYou should have known better, Jowan.â
âYou're right! I should have!â
Somewhere in the dungeon, water dripped. Morrigan watched like she was observing a particularly fascinating dissection. Alistair stood with his hand on his sword hilt.
Leliana looked pitying. Of course she did.
âSo,â Jowan said finally. âHere we are again. The two of us. What happens now?â
âAre you responsible for this?â Emma gestured vaguely at the dungeon, the corpses, the general ambiance of supernatural disaster.
âI... I know it looks suspicious, but I'm not responsible for the creatures and the killings in the castle. I was already imprisoned when all that began.â
She waited.
âAt first, Lady Isolde came here with her men demanding that I reverse what I'd done. I thought she meant my poisoning of the arl. That's the first I heard about the walking corpses. She thought I'd summoned a demon to torment her family and destroy Redcliffe.â
âShe had me tortured. There was nothing I could do or say that would appease her. So they... left me to rot.â
âWhy did you poison Arl Eamon?â
Jowan swallowed. âI was instructed to by Teyrn Loghain. I was told that Arl Eamon was a threat to Ferelden, that if I dealt with him Loghain would settle matters with the Circle. All I wanted was to be able to return.â
His voice turned bitter. âBut he abandoned me here, didn't he? Everything's fallen apart. I never thought it would end like this!â
Emma didn't feel sympathy. She'd been abandoned too. She hadnât been allowed to rot.
All your fault, Jowan.
He hadn't asked about that. She didn't explain it.
âMaker, I've made so many mistakes,â Jowan continued, sliding into self-flagellation with practiced ease. âI disappointed so many people... I wish I could go back and fix it. I just want to make everything right again.â
Emma felt a smile pull at her mouthâwry, humorless, the kind of smile that meant nothing good. She almost laughed. Almost. Alistair was starting to recognize that particular expression, and it was making him nervous. (Were the smirks for his dumb jokes even real? He was developing concerns.)
âWhy did you listen to Teyrn Loghain, of all people?â
âWhy wouldn't I? This is Teyrn Loghain we're talking about. The Hero of River Dane, for Andraste's sake! Why wouldn't I believe him?â
âAt least let me explain what I was doing here,â Jowan said quickly, sensing he was losing her. âConnor had started to show... signs. Lady Isolde was terrified the Circle of Magi would take him away for training.â
Alistair: âConnor? A mage? I can't believe it!â
âShe sought an apostate,â Jowan continued, âa mage outside the Circle, to teach her son in secret so he could learn to hide his talent. Her husband had no idea.â
âPerhaps her son is responsible,â Emma said.
âI thought that, too. Connor has little knowledge of magic, but he may have done something to tear open the Veil.â He was warming to the topic, slipping into familiar academic patternsâthe Jowan she remembered. âWith the Veil to the Fade torn, spirits and demons could infiltrate the castle. Powerful ones could kill and create those walking corpses.â
âArl Eamon had no idea of his son's abilities?â
âNo. She was adamant that he never find out. She said that he'd do the right thing, even if it meant losing their son. And that infuriated her.â
Emma could see it nowâthe whole pathetic chain of events. Isolde's desperation. Jowan's weakness. Loghain's manipulation. All of it collapsing into corpses and chaos. A chain of small cowardices broke an entire castle.
âThe arl's a decent man,â Jowan said quietly. âI wondered how he could possibly be the threat Loghain said he was, but I did it anyway. I'm such a fool.â
âYes,â Emma said. âYou are.â
Jowan didn't look away. âI'm just sick of running away and hiding from what I've done. I'm going to try to fix it, any way I can.â
âWe were friends once. I know I don't deserve to call you that, after what I did...â
âNo,â Emma agreed.
His voice dropped. âIf it ever meant anything, please... help me fix this.â
Emma felt the weight of everyone's eyes. Morrigan. Alistair. Leliana. Even the damned dog.
âI helped you once in the name of friendship,â she said.
âAnd I betrayed you. And Lily. I'm sorry, so sorry!â He was crying now, openly, tears cutting tracks through dungeon grime. âPlease, I'm begging you! Won't you help me try to do one thing right in my life?â
Morrigan spoke: âI say this boy could still be of use to us. But if not, then let him go. Why keep him prisoner here?â
âHey, hey!â Alistair stepped forward. âLet's not forget he's a blood mage! You can't just... set a blood mage free!â
âBetter to slay him?â Morrigan's eyes gleamed with that particular light that meant she was enjoying herself. âBetter to punish him for his choices? Is this Alistair who speaks or the templar?â
âI'd say common sense. We don't even know the whole story yet.â
Leliana's voice was soft. âHe wishes to redeem himself... doesn't everyone deserve that chance?â
âLike yourself, you mean?â Morrigan asked.
Alistair looked at Emma. âHe's your friend. You know him best.â
âGive me a chance, please!â Jowan begged.
Emma studied him. Broken. Desperate to be forgiven without having earned it. The lyrium in her blood was still burning cold. Her side ached. Alistair was wound tighter than she'd ever seen him, and part of that was her faultâtrust, once broken, didn't reassemble cleanly.
âSo how will you make things right?â she asked.
âI'd... well, I'd try to save anyone still up there. There must be something I can do.â
She waited for him to elaborate. To offer specifics. A plan. Anything resembling actual competence.
He just looked at her hopefully.
Emma exhaled slowly. The sound echoed in the dungeon. âThat's commendable,â she said. âIf true.â
Relief flooded his face. âI'm glad you think so. So what now?â
She turned away from him, staff already moving to light the next corridor. Somewhere above them, a demon was possessing a child. People were dying.
âI will wait,â he said to her back, already walking away. âIf you change your mind, I will be here.â
The dungeon stretched ahead.
Emma stood at the far wall, staff raised, watching Alistair cross toward the gate. Morrigan circled overhead, black wings cutting lazy arcs through smoke still rising from the village siege.
Skeletons lined the parapets. Slow. Fragile. Easy to clear.
They'd planned for that. Ser Perth's Knights waited on the other side of the gate.
Alistair reached the lever and threw his weight against rusted iron. The portcullis groaned upward.
Then suddenly, something yanked him backward.
Behind him, an oversized corpse crawled out of the dirt. It raised one skeletal hand, wrapped in tattered robes and malice.
Alistair flew backward and crunched against the parapet. He hit the ground and didn't get up.
The revenant turned toward him, bony fingers coiling, preparing another strike. It was a spellcasterâ once a powerful mage, before death upgraded it into something worse.
The archers on the walls pivoted. Emma's staff flared. Her spiritual decay threaded through themâthey shattered in an instant. Ser Perth's knights charged through the gate, shields high.
She was already sprinting. The thing was still moving. It stopped advancing on Alistair, who'd managed to roll onto his side, shield half-raised, wheezing.
It turned to her. She stopped, violently, too late. Her knees hit the ground. Its spectral chains yanked her ankles, dragging her into the stone. It scraped through fabric, then skin.
The revenant stood over her. Up close it was worse. The skull cracked down the middle, green light leaking through. The jaw hanging wrong, dislocated. It raised it's skeletal hand and began to cast.
Emma twisted, staff trapped beneath her, and shoved raw electricity into its face. The spell misfiredâlightning arcing wild, scorching her palms, her sleeves and the stone around her. The chains loosened.
She wrenched free and rolled, already healing her burns and scrapes in a rush of heat and nausea. Behind her, steel rang on bone. The knights had engaged. She scrambled to her feet and ran.
She dropped to her knees beside Alistair. Her hands reached out, then stopped. Up close, the damage was obvious.
âCan'tââ he started. His eyes were alert, but his chest barely moved. He'd lost most of his color already.
âI know.â
The breastplate had buckled inward, folded by the parapet. The mail underneath had collapsed with it, rings buckling into flesh that had nowhere left to compress. Healing him now would seal flesh around broken ribs while the armor kept crushing him.
Behind her, someone screamed. Steel shrieked. The revenant was doing somethingâshe didn't turn to look.
âHelp me get you out of this,â she said.
âBelt first,â Alistair gasped.
Emma found the buckleâcrushed partially shut. She yanked, then pulled her dagger and cut. The sword dropped. The cuirass shifted fractionally. He sucked in half a breath and choked on it as an arrow whistled past her ear.
âPauldrons. Un-under mail. There's a knotââ
âWhere?â
âHigherâleft sideâno, not thatââ
The sound of combat shifted. Grew louder. Closer. Emma didn't look. Kept her hands on the armor.
âKeep talking.â
ââcut the strap, the leatherâyesââ
The right pauldron came free. The left one stuck. She wrenched it sideways and he made a sound something short of a grunt, cut by the ribs where his lungs should be.
âSorry.â
âKeep going.â His hand found her wrist and squeezed once.
Someone hit the wall hard. A wet crunch. She heard Ser Perth shouting orders that nobody could follow.
âWaitââ Alistair's grip on her wrist tightened. His eyes tracked the fight. She was here, kneeling beside him, while men were dying ten yards away. âGo,â he said. Barely audible.
âNo.â
âEmââ
âNo.â She hooked her fingers under the bent edge of the breastplate. It wasn't about to lift cleanly. The inward fold had jammed the lower edge under the opposite side. Trying to pull it straight up would just lever it deeper into him.
She had to pry. One hand braced against his shoulderâtrying not to put weight on his chest, but failing. The sound he madeâ she cringed.
âIt's stuck,â she said.
His jaw clenched. For a moment she thought he'd refuse. Then: âAngleâsidewaysâif it slipsââ
She nodded. The edge was sharp- it would gouge him open. Alistair's eyes were on the fight, watching Perth's line collapse.
âThey're dying,â he said.
âSo are you,â she said, and pulled. Metal scraped. Mail caught. Alistair grabbed her arm, knuckles white. Not directing her anymoreâjust holding on.
The crushed cuirass creaked free, giving him room to expand and her room to work. She threw it aside. Magic flared from her. It was visceral, invasive. Ribs snapped out under her hands, rended muscle closed. He sobbed, spitting blood, an agonized sound. But also gasping with air in his lungs.
âMail next,â she said.
The hauberk was crushed rushed inward, the rings had locked into each other, redistributing force in all the wrong directions. The padding beneath had swollen with blood and sweat, making everything tighter.
She had to peel the layers, dragging the mail over bruised ribs, tearing skin and the gambeson underneath. Clearing the mail, she then pulled the last layer open to expose the damage.
Dark bruising spread like spilled ink across his left side. But finally, her hands pressed against bare skin. Ribs finished realigning. Tissue mended. His lungs filled properly.
When she looked up, the courtyard was quiet.
Three of Perth's knights were down. Two of them definitely dead. The third maybe breathing. Perth himself was leaning on his sword, barely upright. Leliana was already moving between the wounded.
The revenant was a collapsed pile of bones near the gate.
Alistair was staring at the dead. He said nothing.
Emma reached out and turned his face toward hers. âI need you alive.â
His eyes searched her for something. She let go.
âStay here. I'll help them.â
She crossed the courtyard to where Leliana was kneeling beside the knight who'd been thrown into his companion. She fixed what she could and moved on. There were more broken ribs, torn flesh and internal bleeding. A broken arm.
And three dead.
When she stood, Perth was watching her.
âWarden,â he said.
She just nodded.
Alistair was sitting upright now, watching her work. Emma looked at the discarded armor beside himâthe crushed breastplate that had nearly killed himâthen at the dead knight near the gate.
âIs it just me,â Alistair said quietly, âor did I do really badly in that fight?â
âWe need to find you something heavier.â
He watched her as she studied the massive plates. A pauldron bigger than her head.
âFrom him?â
âYes.â
âWe're looting him.â
âApparently this situation called for massive armor.â
Alistair pushed himself upright, slowly. âWonderful.â
Emma offered him a hand. Even stripped of half his armor, he was almost too heavy for her to pull up. Almost.
The halls spread vast and hollow. No furniture. No tapestries. The banners that should have hung from the rafters were gone, leaving only the iron hooks that once held them.
âWhere is everything?â Leliana whispered.
Alistair stepped forward, shield raised, scanning the shadows. âMoved. Or burned, maybe?â
âPerhaps eaten,â Morrigan suggested wryly.
They advanced slowly. The emptiness pressed inânot peaceful, but curated. Deliberate. As if someone had swept the castle clean and then waited to see who would notice.
The chantry was stranger still. The pews had been shoved neatly against the walls. The floor was scrubbed bare. No candles. No offerings. Just space and echoes and the faint, cloying smell of rot beneath incense that had long ago burned out.
Emma knelt, running her fingers over the stone. The grain felt smooth. Too smooth. Recently scubbed. She straightened, uneasy.
âThis is very creepy,â Alistair said quietly.
They moved deeper into the castle. The swarms of undead grew larger with each roomâcorpses lurching from alcoves, from behind doors, from stairwells. Their squads grew to a size they couldn't stand against without aggressive offense. Emma was detonating every group.
The explosions hit Alistair square each time, rended meat and shards slapping across his armor in force. He staggered, cursing, but stayed upright.
âI hate that spell,â he gasped. âIt's so gross.â
He did not reach for a potion. He never did, not while Emma was behind him. She was already casting, fixing her damage as soon as he registered the pain.
âYeah,â she wasn't fond of it either. But there was no better way to inflict massive damage to enemies. And friends.
They methodically cleared the rooms. Alistair braced at every doorway, shield angled, waiting for the press.
And then, in a servant's hall near the kitchens, they found signs of life. Pews arranged before tables. Blankets folded neatly over them. A chessboard mid-game. A fire still burning in the hearth, embers glowing soft orange. Food on the tableâbread only just starting to go stale. Fruit, not fresh, but edible.
Someone had lived here. Recently.
âFinally,â Leliana breathed.
Alistair moved to the fire but didn't sit. He crouched to warm his hands, armor creaking.
Emma nodded, already cataloging their supplies. They hadn't used any potions yet. Her fingers trembled slightly, rifling through.
Morrigan leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed. âDo not grow comfortable. This sanctuary is borrowed.â
They hovered. Two minutes. Maybe three. No one sat down. No one took off their pack.
Then Morrigan stiffened. âThey come.â
Everyone braced.
Alistair surged forward: âTime to taste steel.â
The doorway was narrowâbarely wide enough for two men abreast. Morrigan moved first, her staff flaring with cold light. Frost spread across the threshold in a sweeping arc, catching the first wave of corpses mid-stride. Jaws open. Knees bent. Every one of them paused at the exact moment they intended to kill.
Alistair was already charging into the ice. Emma stepped up behind him, staff raised.
She could see them nowânine, maybe ten corpses surging through the hallway. And behind them, something worse: an elite caster, robes tattered, hands glowing with sickly green light.
Emma tried to drain its mana through the fade. Her thirsty threads hooked, then slid off. Feedback stung her palms like touching hot metal.
She tried something else. Her glyph lit at the caster's feet. It stumbled, limbs seizing mid-step, caught in the spell's grip. For now.
The first corpses hit Alistair's shield like a wave. He grunted and pushed back. Steel rang against bone.
The bottleneck held. For a moment. Then the press intensified.
Something caught the edge of his shield and wrenched. He staggered. One corpse slipped past his shield. Then another.
Leliana's bow snapped, arrow punching through a skull. The corpse staggered but didn't fall. Morrigan's frost swept wide, catching three more mid-lunge. They froze solid, limbs locked mid-motion.
Emma knew it wouldn't last. She pulled for shock. The shape came out wrong. She corrected.
Alistair felt the dry charge build and stutter in the air. The frozen corpses began to thaw. Motion returned in jerksâfingers twitching, jaws working soundlessly.
He called her name, sharp with panic. The warning snapped her focus back. The caster had broken free of the glyph. Its hands flared, green light coiling into a bolt for Alistair. He dipped, shield scraping stone.
The thawed corpses piled against him, clawing, biting, forcing him to pivot, to turn his shoulders just to keep the line. He couldn't hold the doorway straight anymore.
She reached for him automatically, trying to shape the heal.
Too slow.
Alistair swore and finally tore a potion free with his teeth, glass cracking between his molars as he spat the cork aside. He drank while blocking, red spilling down his chin to soak into the padding at his throat.
No time.
Leliana screamed.
Emma turned. Two corpses closed on the bard. Leliana loosed an arrow point-blank, but they kept coming. One grabbed her arm. She wrenched free, stumbling backward into the wall.
Emma's mind raced. Too many. Too close. They were surrounded nowâAlistair at the center, Morrigan and Leliana at the flanks, Emma trying to hold the back line.
Their enemies weren't taking enough damage. Their tank was burning potions now. She could hear the glass break. That could not last.
Emma thrust her staff forward, pouring what little mana she had left into Walking Bomb. The spell latched sunk into its chest as it lurched toward her.
She darted away from Leliana, luring it. But it would not chase her. It staggered once. No warning. No delay. The spell found a fault she hadn't known, exploding it mid-stride.
Too soon.
Leliana's bow clattered uselessly across stone. She crumpled. Emma felt the debris splatter past her, singeing her robes.
Morrigan staggered, magic flickering as the blast tore through her defenses.
Her vision swam. She could heal herself. She could heal Morrigan. She couldn't do both.
Her hands moved before she could think. The spell snapped to the nearest certaintyâher own pulse. Her body had already decided she was worth more. Warmth flooded her chest, ribs knitting, burns fading.
Guilt arrived a heartbeat later.
Morrigan was on her knees, gasping, frost crackling weakly around her fingers.
Only three left. They were clawing at Alistair, trying to reach the one who exploded their mage. Alistair drove one back, shield-first. Another filled the space it left. There was no gap. There was no finish.
She cast the bomb on the first to slip past him. She ran away from him, as they closed in on her. The corpse exploded mid-stride. The blast caught her.
She hit the floor hard, staff clattering from her grip. Her vision whited out. She heard steel on bone. A wet crunch. Alistair's boot scuffing stone. Another impact. Then silence.
When her ears stopped ringing, Alistair was kneeling beside her, plates rattling, hauling her upright. He did not let go.
Emma sagged against his arm. Blood pooled beneath the corpses. She looked around. Morrigan was with Leliana, who was panting, eyes unfocused. An arrow lay snapped underfoot.
The amulet rolled into her palm, surprisingly heavy. Andraste's symbol, stamped in ceramic. Worn smooth at the edges. Cracked and repaired with care. Safely hidden.
Everything else in this office had been ransackedâpapers scattered, shelves overturned.
She knew it immediately.
I tore it off and threw it at the wall. Shattered it.
She remembered Alistair's voice, as he walked along the highway, describing a ten-year-old's rage at being sent away.
And the vision repeated: Ser Perth's knights clutching their silver amulets at the windmill, eyes bright with faith.
The amulet was warm from her grip. It was the same symbol. This one was just older, a different material, a different mold. Broken and repaired.
The Maker is absent is the whole point of the Chantry. And yet the lie worked anyway.
Practical. Efficient. The knights had fought better, lived through the night. Results she couldn't argue with. She'd signed off on it without hesitation.
Except it did bother her. Had been bothering her for close to a day now, in the exhausted half-conscious moments between combat and collapse when her mind wouldn't settle.
Half of them died to the Revenant in the castle courtyard, less than 24 hours later. But before then, they defended the village. She'd helped make that happen. That meant something.
And here in her hand: an object that mattered because someone decided it did. Repaired by a man who'd taken in a child that wasn't his, kept a secret that could have destroyed a kingdom.
Emma stared at it and felt the last of her plausible deniability collapse.
She was worried. Not only about herself. Or the mission.
It had nothing to do with tactics or marching order and everything to do with the sick twist in her chest when she thought about what would happen if people found out. When they started looking at him the way those knights had looked at their stupid amulets.
Alistair had a type of story people like to believe in. A story that would make them braver, more loyal, more compliant.
Ferelden would eventually want him to mean something, and none of it had anything to do with who he actually was or what he wanted or what he was good at.
I don't want them to have him.
She already saw herself positioning between Alistair and a symbolic machine.
Which was how she knew she was completely fucked.
Alistair was checking the perimeter, his boots echoing down the stone corridor. She heard him long before she saw him, clanking through the castle, impossible to ignore.
âFind anything?â
Just give it to him. Stop making this complicated.
But it was complicated. And now she was holding proof that Alistairâpragmatic, self-deprecating Alistair who joked about everythingâcarried his own desperate need to believe, that he'd mattered to someone, that the abandonment wasn't inevitable or deserved.
Emma closed her fist around the amulet. Her throat felt tight.
âEm?â He approached her, concerned.
âI found this.â
Her voice came out carefully neutral. Professional. The same tone she used for an inventory assessment or debrief. It sounded wrong even to her own ears.
He stopped mid-step. Stared at her palm.
âThis... this is my mother's amulet. It has to be.â His voice cracked slightly. âBut why isn't it broken? Where did you find it?â
She should say something. Congratulations, probably. I'm glad you have it back. Something that acknowledged what this meant to him withoutâ
âIt was in the false bottom of his desk.â
âOh.â He blinked. âThe arl's desk?â
The vision would come back. She knew that already. The amulets would haunt her again. She'd lie awake, wondering.
âYes.â
Wondering if she'd committed to protecting him from a future he didn't know was circling.
âI thought it was gone. I was so angry, I justââ He turned it over, examining the repair work with something close to reverence. âHe kept it. He fixed it and kept it all this time. I don't understand, why would he do that?â
âMaybe he meant to give it back to you.â
Alistair was quiet for a long moment.
âMaybe he did. He might even have brought it with him one of those times he came to see me at the monastery... not that I would have given him a chance, as belligerent as I was to him.â
He looked up at her, open and hurting and grateful all at once.
âThank you. I mean it. I... thought I'd lost this to my own stupidity.â
âI'll need to talk to him about this,â Alistair continued, quieter. âIf he recovers from his... when he recovers, that is. I wish I'd had this a long time ago.â
His face sharpened suddenly, looking at her.
âDid you remember me mentioning it? Wow. I'm more used to people not really listening when I go on about things.â
âSorry?â Emma's voice was flat. âDid you say something?â
âHo, ho, ho.â He made an obscene gesture, grinning. âSee this gesture I'm making? Can you hear that?â
She almost smiled.
Alistair had already tucked the amulet inside his armor, close to his chest.
Alistair shifted his weight. âSo. At the castle. Near here, in Redcliffe.â
Emma glanced back, rolling tension from her shoulders. âWhat about it?â
âNothing. Just thinking.â He tugged at his gauntlet strap. âLot of thinking time waiting for boats.â
He should've kept his mouth shut. But the words came out anyway, halting and indirect.
âYou know. When you... when that thing had me pinned. You were dealing with the archers.â
âYes.â
âAnd then... you ran straight at the thing that just crushed me like a tin can.â
Emma's expression didn't change. âYou were dying.â
âRight. Yes. Dying. Which is... a thing that happens. In combat. To people. Sometimes.â
âNot if I can prevent it.â
He tried again. âThe knightsââ
âYes. They died.â
No apology. No justification. Just acknowledgment.
âI'm not saying you made the wrong choice,â he said carefully. âI'm saying... the numbers. There were more of them than me.â
âThere are more knights in Ferelden than Grey Wardens.â
âThat'sââ He stopped. Started over. âThat's cold.â
âWe would've lost more if we'd lost you.â
âMaybe. Can you decide so easily?â
âYou're not replaceable. There are two Grey Wardens in Ferelden. If one dies, the other is alone. You'd do the same.â
He wanted to argue. Wanted to point out that she was the one with actual strategic sense, that she was the healer keeping everyone alive, that she wasâ
âYou're more valuable than I am,â he said instead.
âI see. Can you decide so easily?â
He crossed his arms. âIf you go down, everyone goes down.â
âIf you go down, I go down.â
Exactly the kind of reasoning he'd expect from her. Why did hearing it hit him so hard? Was it something in her tone, or lack thereof? What was he trying to say?
âYou could have gotten behind them. You didn't have to get that close,â he said finally.
Emma stopped looking at the water. He turned to face her properly.
âYou think I can do this without you?â she said. He swallowed, she continued. âI had to. I didn't do it for fun.â
âI know.â His voice was rougher than he liked. âI was there, remember? Watching you crawl through active combat while I couldn't do anything about it.â
âOf course you couldn't do anything. You were incapacitated.â
âExactly.â He made a vague, shapeless gesture at the lake. âYou're supposed to stay at range. That's the point. You don'tâYou don't expose yourself like that.â
âLike what? I've entered melee before.â
âNo, not like that. I covered you. Sten covered you.â
âYou have done the same. Multiple times.â
âThat's different,â he tried. âBecause I'mâI'm supposed to take damage. That's what I do.â
âI'm supposed to keep you alive.â
âIt's not the same,â he repeated.
âYou don't like watching me take risks. I don't like watching you take risks. But we do it anyway.â
She sounded so much like Duncan, sometimes.
But standing there on the dock, looking at the fading burns on her palms and the way she held herself like she wasn't still hurt, all he could think about was her hands shaking while she tore through his armor.
âIt was just hard,â he said quietly. âWatching you do that.â
âI know,â she said. âIt was hard watching you suffocate.â
They stood there. The water lapped against the pilings.
âWe're the only two who can do this,â Emma said finally. âThat's why we have to keep each other alive. That'sâit's a priority.â
âRight. Very necessary.â
âYes.â
Everything she'd said was objectively, demonstrably true. But something in the way she said it made his chest tighten.
Alistair looked at her. The clinical assessment in her eyes. The careful distance in her posture. The absolute certainty that she would crawl through fire again if circumstances required it.
Her gaze had drifted back to the water. Not watching for the boatâjust staring. Her jaw was tight. Her staff planted a little too firmly.
Something was off. He couldn't name it. Just a prickling at the back of his neck, the way his shoulders tensed before combat started.
âYou know,â he said, âif you'd died there, trying to save me...â
Emma looked over.
âI would've been very annoyed. Extremely annoyed. From a purely tactical standpoint.â
She smiled. Maybe a real smile. âNoted.â
âBecause then I'd be the only Grey Warden left. And I barely know what I'm doing. Complete disaster. Strategically speaking.â
âMmhm.â
The boat rounded the far point, oars cutting through the gray water in steady rhythm. Emma's shoulders shifted. Nothing dramatic. Just a fraction of tension settling deeper.
Alistair's frown deepened. âYou all right?â
âFine.â
The boat pulled up alongside the dock. The ferryman secured the line and gestured them aboard.
Emma shifted forwardâthen stopped.
Alistair offered his arm. Reflex more than anything. The sort of thing you did automatically, even for someone you thought unlikely to take it.
She took it.
He helped her onto the rocking planks. She stepped carefully, staff first, boots following.
He followed, weight displacing the boat in the water.
Emma braced. Just a fraction. Knees adjusting, balance redistributing.
Alistair settled onto the bench across from her, still frowning. Still trying to shake the feeling that he'd just watched her decide something he wasn't going to like.
âYou asked me once,â Emma began, âwhether Iâd grown fond of the Circle. My cage.â
Morrigan's eyes were sharp with interest. âAnd you deflected rather skillfully, as I recall.â
âI did. But I was fond of it. The library, the stonework, the quiet... off-season fruit. Even the isolation...â She paused. âSo fond I couldn't appreciate how difficult it was.â
Morrigan studied her for a long moment. âA confession, Warden? How unlike you.â
âI know the difference between solitude and loneliness.â Emma kept her gaze on the fire.
âYou think I am lonely.â
âWere you? in the wilds?, surrounded by life, but...â
â...but not one's own kind,â Morrigan finished, her voice softer than usual. âA world full of people and buildings and things was all very foreign to me. If I wished companionship, I ran with the wolves and flew with the birds. If I spoke, it was to the trees.â
âDid they speak back?â Emma was intrigued.
âNo. Don't be foolish.â
Oh.
âSuch simple pleasures and one-sided conversations will only enthrall for so long. I recall the first time I crept beyond the edge of the Wilds. I did so in animal form, remaining in the shadows and watching these strange townsfolk from afar.â
âI happened upon a noblewoman adorned in sparkling garments the likes of which I had never before seen. I was dazzled. This to me seemed to be what true wealth and beauty must be. I snuck behind her and stole a hand mirror from the carriage. 'Twas encrusted in gold and crystalline gemstones and I hugged it to my chest with delight as I sped back to the Wilds.â
Emma could picture it perfectlyâa child, feral and fascinated, clutching something that represented everything she'd never had: A shiny construction of cut, poured, and polished rocks.
âFlemeth was furious with me.â The softness vanished. âI was a child and had not yet come into my full power and I had risked discovery for the sake of a pretty bauble. To teach me a lesson, Flemeth took the mirror and smashed it upon the ground.â
âI'm sorry.â
âDo not be.â Morrigan's tone sharpened. âI was heartbroken at the time, but the lesson was necessary. Beauty and love are fleeting and have no meaning. Survival has meaning. Power has meaning.â
Emma chose her words carefully, âIs the lesson also: beauty is dangerous?â
Morrigan blinked, caught off-guard. â'Tis the same thing, is it not?â
âIs it?â
âWarden, must you do this? 'Tis tedious when you refuse to simply accept what I tell you.â
âI'm asking you to reconsider. It didn't go wrong until Flemeth decided it.â
âShe was protecting meââ
âFrom what? You were a careful thief.â
âAs I have told you, it was a needless risk.â
Emma leaned forward slightly. Morrigan stared at her. The black point slightly deepened in her eyes of amber.
âI thought the Circle was protecting me.â
Morrigan did not miss the comparison. She crossed her arms.
âFlemeth is many things, but she is not like your Circle. Any resemblance is mere strategy. The Chantry created the danger. We responded to it, yes. But 'twas they who set the field.â
âThat's...very true,â said Emma, sheepishly. âRegardless, judgement can be a greater danger than temptation.â
âAnd so what, praytell, is the difference between danger and the temptation which inspires it?â Morrigan asked, her tone a mocking near-melody.
âI don't know... but smash something beautiful before it hurts you... too easy. A child can do that.â
Morrigan laughed, bitterly.
âOften, Warden, I get the impression you have never been a child. Or perhaps have always been, and will always remain, a child. I am quite unsure.â
Emma shrugged. Yet another question of all or nothing. She had no way of choosing.
âHuman children are no marshsnappers, digging themselves out of the egg and into the water.â Morrigan illustrated. âThey arenât born knowing how to survive.â
Emma: âMost little marshsnappers die. That's why they lay so many eggs.â
Behind them, Alistair and Leliana shared a laugh, probably at Sten's expense, who grumbled non-verbally.
âPerhaps,â Morrigan said finally, her voice very quiet, âmy time in the Wilds was indeed lonely. But such was how it had to be. Vanity attracts the attention of strangers. And in the Wilds, strangers lead to death.â
âAnd who set that field?â
Morrigan turned back to the fire, but her shoulders had loosened fractionally. After a long silence, she said, â'Tis just the nature of the Wilds.â
âI find myself wondering at times what might have become of the girl with the beautiful golden mirror. But such fantasies have no place amidst reality.â
âNo way of knowing; But she was real. Unless you're making it up,â said Emma.
âNo, I most surely am not,â Morrigan chuckled.
Alistair returned from the bar with two mugs and a plate of something allegedly edible. He set them down carefully.
âThey claim it's rabbit stew,â he said. âI have my doubts.â
Emma wrapped her hands around the mug.
âI noticed, while we were sailing,â he sat, not quite meeting her eyes, âYou turned approximately the color of this alleged stew.â
âYes. The waves make me nauseous,â she eyed the soup warily.
He remembered how she had leaned forward next to him. Small. Braced. He had wanted to do something. He still didnât know what.
âAre you alright?â
âI will be, soon.â
Alistair accepted that, because that was what he had learned to do lately.
Across the room, Leliana was smiling at the innkeeper in a way that usually preceded secrets changing hands. Morrigan was nowhere to be seen. The towerâs silhouette pressed against the window, dark and patient.
âI miss you,â Emma said.
Alistair looked up, startled. âIâm here.â
âNot really.â She met his eyes.
âI thought,â he said carefully, âafter⊠everything⊠maybe it was better if I didnât say the wrong thing.â
âSo you said nothing.â
âYes.â He winced. âWhich appears to be worse.â
She watched the surface of her drink settle.
âYou used to talk to me,â she said. âYouâd just⊠talk. About templars stealing lyrium. About setting evidence on fire.â
âThat was an accident.â
âI know.â A pause. âThatâs why it was funny.â
He smiled automatically, then stopped when he realized she wasnât.
âI didnât mean to pull away,â he said. He rubbed the back of his neck. âAfter Leliana, I justâstarted thinking maybe this was a sign. That I was out of my depth. Iâm a rube who grew up in a hayloft and youâreâŠâ
âWhat?â Emma said, lost.
He didnât finish. She didnât push. She looked back into the mug instead, annoyed.
âWhat if I canâtââ He cut himself off. âI care about you. I just canât treat something like this casually.â
He went quiet.
âBut why...â Emma sighed. She felt serious. It wasn't helping. âWhat do you think Iâm asking for?â
He opened his mouth. Closed it. Tried again. âI donât know how to do this without turning it into something stiff and wrong.â
She leaned back, letting the chair creak.
âBut it wasn't like that. I donât want this to turn into you measuring every word. Or me having to be careful with you.â
âSo⊠what are you saying?â
âSo we can stop. You're uncomfortable with this.â
âSo this is a rejection.â His voice had gone carefully neutral. âWith excellent manners.â
âNo.â She said it flatly. âI liked you the way you were. Now you're acting like every word has to pass strict inspection.â
âYou think I'm... performing?â he said slowly.
âI think you got scared. I-â she hesitated. âI don't want to scare you.â
Emma saw it hitâhis shoulders eased like he'd been bracing for a blow that never came.
âIf I say I can'tâif I'm too tangled upâyou'd just... go back to how things were?â
âItâs a truce.â
âIâll take it,â he said immediately, then softened. âIf thatâs what you want. Very romantic, by the way.â
âIâm not good at romance,â she said. She picked up her mug. It was cold, now. âYou should learn this.â
âThatâs tragic.â
âFor both of us.â
Silence, again. Less difficult, this one.
âCan I ask you something?â he said. âAnother something.â
She nodded.
âLeliana. When youâwhen you let her down. Was that because of me?â
âYes.â
He swallowed. âSo you chose this.â
âI did.â
âI didnât know you felt that way,â he said. His voice was careful. âI should tell you⊠I donât know if Iâm ready for anything else. Not yet.â
Emma frowned, trying to follow the logic. Jealous, but retreating. It was contradictory. She let it go.
âIâm not worried about doing that,â she said. That much was true.
He looked down. Something tightened in his shoulders.
âI donât know where this goes,â he said.
âSo?â She raised an eyebrow. âThe truce.â
He huffed a quiet laugh. Nervous. Relieved. Both.
She stood, pushing her chair back. âMorrigan's back. She's doing the 'you're being tedious' look.â
He glanced over. Morrigan was, in fact, radiating pointed boredom in their direction.
âHow can you tell?â he asked. âThat's just her face.â
âI just know.â
(different location/timing needed??)
The dock creaked under their boots, wood swollen and warped by decades of lake water. Emma stopped at the edge, looking across Calenhad toward Kinloch Hold. The tower rose from the island like a accusatory finger.Behind them, Morrigan was arguing with Leliana about somethingâherbs, probably, or the Maker. The details didn't matter. Alistair hung back with Emma.
âMust be strange. Coming back.â
Emma didnât answer at once. The Tower looked smaller from here than it had in her memory.
âI left six weeks ago. Feels...so much longer.â
âTimeâs funny like that.â Alistair leaned against a piling, the wood groaning under his armor. âThe Monastery feels like a lifetime ago for me. Or possibly several.â
âLucky you.â Emma turned away from the tower, facing him instead. âIs that true?â
âThe reincarnation? Unlikely. The rest?â He paused. âMostly. Some days I can barely remember what it was like. Other days I remember everything, usually at the worst possible moments. It's very inconvenient.â
âYou remember the Circle perfectly, don't you?â he added, looking at her.
âAll of it.â
âI suppose the Circle doesn't let you forget.â
âNo.â She thought of Areli, of Anders, of all the small rebellions that felt enormous until they were.
âIt's designed that way. Memory as discipline.â
âCheerful.â Across the dock, Morriganâs voice rose sharplyâsomething about Chantry propaganda and botanical ignorance. Lelianaâs reply was too soft to hear, but the tone suggested patience worn thin. âSpeaking of cheerful things, how are our two most compatible party members getting along?â
âMorrigan thinks Leliana's delusional. Leliana thinks Morrigan needs saving.â
âSo, poorly.â
âExactly as expected.â
His smile faded, shadowed by something doubtful.
âWhat?â she asked.
âNothing. Just...â He rubbed the back of his neck. âDo you ever wonder what that would've been like? Being raised outside the Circle?â
âYou're asking if I wish I'd been an apostate.â
âNo! Well. Maybe?â He grimaced. âI'm askingâI'm just curious about what you think.â
âI've thought about it.â She looked back at the tower.
âAnd?â
âNo.â
Alistair blinked. âThat's it? Just no?â
âJust no.â
âWell. That was succinct.â He shifted his weight. âSo does that mean you liked it there? At the Circle?â
âI did.â
âReally? They trained you well?â
âWell enough,â Emma said carefully. âI'm not ungrateful, but the library offered more than the instruction.â
It was mild, but it felt like a confession.
âIs that what you liked most?â He ducked his head down, but looked up at her with a small smile.
âNo...â she paused. You don't really want the real answer, do you? She shook his untimely voice out of her head. The veil was too thin.
âThe tower had silk sheets,â she said, distracted.
He raised his brows. âThe sheets.â
She collected herself. âThe Circle was a prison. But it was also a fortress. It had...highly concentrated reagents. Off-season fruit. Decent embroidery. Fireplaces somebody else maintained.â
âAnd silk sheets,â he said. âCan't forget those, for sleeping. Which is what people do with sheets, generally. Except for you, I presume. It's ironic, really.â
She chuckled. âNot really. I was very aware to appreciate them, during curfew.â
âThat makes sense.â
The wind picked up, carrying the smell of lake water and distant rain. His hand found the rail beside hers, not quite touching.
âBut if you could chooseââ
âI can't.â Her voice went flat. âNo one gets to choose.â
âI know. I just meantâŠâ He stopped, then tried again. âMorrigan hates the Circle. Everything it represents. And I get itâdonât tell herâbut sometimes I think she also hates that she was alone. That Flemeth was all she had.â
âYou had people there,â he said.
âYes. People who understood what it meant to be what we are.â
âWere you close to anyone?â He hesitated. âThat Jowan fellow, maybe?â
âNo. Not Jowan.â
âThen... how did you know him?â
She turned slightly, angling away from the Tower. âItâs complicated. There was someone. Someone who was like a sister to him.â
âDo you hope to see her again?â
âNo.â The word landed hard. âSheâs dead.â
âIâm sorry. Do youââ
âNo. But thanks.â
There was something in the way she said it. He felt a bit less foolish. Maybe... appreciative. Like the offer itself mattered, even if she didn't want it.
The tower's reflection wavered in the lake, fractured by the wind.
âThe Chantry liked to teach that wanting things was prideful,â Alistair said eventually. âThat desires were distracting from service to the Maker. Very dour, really. Like if we wanted things too much we'd all spontaneously combust.â
âThe Circle taught the same thing. Different risks, I suppose. Desire demons, preying from the Fade.â
âRight. So we've both had that particular lecture.â He paused. âMorrigan didn't, though. Flemeth wasn't exactly big on the whole 'suppress your desires' thing, from what I gather. Different kind of nightmare entirely.â
He might be surprised. But it wasn't her place to say.
âShe might say they had freedom.â
âVery dangerous freedom, no doubt,â Alistair said, with a slight smile. Then he got serious. âDo you think they're right? About desires being dangerous?â
Emma looked at him properly thenâat the earnest question in his face, the way he asked it like he genuinely didn't know the answer. She thought about Areli, who had wanted everything.
âProbably,â she said. âDepending on what you want.â
A wave slapped against the dock pilings. The boat rocked. Emma swallowed.
âWhat if you want beautiful things?â Alistair said quietly. âDangerous things?â
âThat's just tautology.â
âI'm sorry...What?â He rubbed the back of his neck. He was begining to understand why Emma defaulted to monosyllables.
âDangerous things are dangerous.â
âRight. Yes. Obviously.â He made a face. âWell, you got me there. That was very wise. I feel appropriately chastened.â
âDon't,â Emma shrugged, apologetic. âYou can want them and still be careful. It's not one or the other.â
He looked at her. âDo you believe that?â
âI used to doubt it,â she said.
âAnd now?â
Something about his expression made her insides constrict. It started in her stomach, then crept into her chest. Emma turned that over.
The tower reflected in the water, doubled and inverted.
âNow I'm reconsidering.â
Another small smile. Hopeful. âGood. Because I've been thinkingââ
âDangerous.â
ââthat maybe the truce was a mistake.â
âWhy?â
âI just donât want to pretend we donâtâI donât want to go back.â
âYou said you weren't ready.â
âI'm not.â His voice was steady now. âBut still... I don't want to go back. I want to go forward. Wherever that goes.â
âI miss the way we used to talk. It's not worth it.â
âI knowâ I'm sorry.â he said, steadier now. âBut I just donât want to stop trying. I'd rather be this. Whatever this is. Even if I'm terrible at it.â
âAlright,â she said.
âAlright?â
âWe'll figure it out.â
The relief in his face was immediate and a little embarrassing. âReally?â
âSure.â
âSo enthusiastic.â He smiled, then caught himself. âThough I reserve the right to panic later. Possibly frequently.â
âThat's expected.â She crossed her arms, those questions with no answers mounting. Why proceed with someone who so obviously scared him?
Morrigan's voice cut across the dock: âAre we departing today, or shall I arrange lodgings?â
Emma turned without answering, heading for the boat.
âSheâs going to be insufferable about this,â he murmured.
âThey all will.â
âFair.â
She could feel the Veil here, thinned and ragged, pressing too close. The air itself felt wrongly textured, like fabric worn through in places, the Fade bleeding through the gaps. Magic pooled dangerously, slick as lamp oil, fibrous and quivering, waiting to ignite.
A shadow passed overhead. Morrigan descended from her scouting flight, feathers dissolving into flesh as she landed lightly beside them.
âThe upper floors are compromised,â Morrigan said, brushing a stray feather from her shoulder. âI saw movement in the windows. Neither mage nor templar.â
âAbominations,â Alistair said quietly.
Emma's gaze tracked upward, along the tower's curve. Somewhere inside, people were dying. Or already dead. Or something worse, caught between the two.
Emma breathed in. Familiar corridors. Familiar pressure. The walls pressed close, as intimate as skin. She had spent years learning this place. Every stair, every blind corner, every hiding spot. She had been nobody here.
She re-entered in barbarian's robes, flanked by a man in Warden's armor and an archer in studded leather. Morrigan followed and circled near them, feline.
A few Templars held the ground floor in a ring of sanctimonious steel. Knight-Commander Greagoir stood at its center, jaw locked, eyes rimmed red with exhaustion. His men looked like they'd been awake for days, fighting on borrowed time.
âI want two men within sight of the doors at all times,â he was saying. âNo one opens them without my express consent. Is that clear?â
âYes, ser.â
âThen we wait. And we pray.â
Alistair leaned closer to Emma. âThe doors are barred,â he said quietly. âAre they keeping people out? Or in?â
She shrugged. That much hadn't changed.
âWell. Look who survived.â The Knight-Commander greeted Emma. âA proper Grey Warden now, are we? Glad you're not dead.â
âYou don't mean that,â Emma said.
âWe're dealing with a situation that does not involve you,â Greagoir replied.
âWhat happened?â
âPlainly? The tower is no longer under our control. Demons and abominations infest the halls.â He paused, measuring his words. âWe were complacent. First Jowan. Now this.â
Emma heard Morrigan's attention sharpen behind her. She stretched and purred. Greigoir's eyes narrowed at the animal.
âDon't think I've forgotten your part in his escape,â Greagoir added.
âHis escape is small,â Emma said. âCompared to this.â
âTrue enough.â
âYour Templars failed,â she said flatly.
The Knight-Commander's hand tightened on the hilt of his sword. âThey did what they could. It wasn't enough. We were prepared for one or two abominations. Not the horde that fell upon us.â
âAnd you're still waiting here?â Emma asked Greagoir, surveying the few templars left. âHow many are inside?â
âI don't know. They came from above, from below, everywhere at once. We fell back,â he said. âWe barely held long enough to seal the doors.â
âYou shut everyone in there. The mages. Your own men.â
âThe doors will not close forever,â Greagoir said. âEverything inside must be eliminated. I've sent for reinforcements. I've petitioned Denerim for the Right of Annulment.â
Alistair's voice, when he spoke, was low and certain. âThe mages are probably already dead. Everything left needs to be dealt with. No matter what.â
Emma turned on him. âDealt with?â
He met her eyes steadily. âI'm notâ I'm not eager to kill innocents. I'm saying maybe...there aren't any.â
âIf any still live,â Greagoir interrupted, âthe Maker himself shields them. It is too painful to hope. There is no alternative.â
Emma looked between themâGreagoir's exhausted certainty, Alistair's pessimism, Morrigan's cold contempt. Three different conclusions, all arriving at the same end: everyone inside was already lost.
She thought of the apprentices who'd slept in rooms above hers. The enchanters who'd supervised her practicals. Even the Templars who'd watched from doorways, hands never far from sword hilts.
Alistair swallowed. âAll the Circles have doors like these,â he said. âTo keep abominations from getting loose. An unprepared village could be wiped out by one.â
âLike the unprepared Templars here,â she noted.
Greagoirâs expression hardened. âWe held the line as long as we could. Some of us are still holding it.â
âWe've fought abominations,â Emma said. âWe can help.â
Greagoir cleared his throat. âVery well. A word of caution,â he said. âOnce you cross those doors, there is no turning back. I will open them for no one unless I have proof it is safe. Only if First Enchanter Irving stands before me and tells me so. Otherwise, the Circle must be destroyed.â
Irving was not the Circle. Emma knew that. She also knew this was the only opening she would get.
âLet us in,â she said.
Greagoir hesitated for a moment, then gestured sharply. His men pulled back the barricade with the groan of straining wood. The great doors loomed, bordered in old Alamarri carvingsâspirals and geometric patterns that predated the Chantry by centuries.
The tower had been built by hands long dead, had survived conquest and reclamation and sanctification. The Circle had papered over it with rules and schedules and doctrine, but it had always been a fortress. A watchtower. A place where people looked out at the world instead of being locked away from it.
It would survive this. The people inside might not.
âOnce you're in,â Greagoir said, âwe seal it behind you.â
The doors opened.
The smell hit firstâblood and hellfire-stink, the acrid residue of arcane missiles. Chalk sigils smeared across the floor, half-finished, abandoned. Someone had tried to hold a line here. It hadn't worked.
The doors shut behind them with a final, echoing boom. The chatter and prayers of the Templars faded. Ahead, the tower spiraled upward into darkness and distant screamingâsome of it human, some of it not. Some caught between the two in ways that made the distinction meaningless.
Emma drew on her mana and set the spell.
Stone climbed her calves, crept over her knees, locked around her forearms in gray facets shot faintly with blue. The magic settled with a low, grinding sound, like masonry shifting into place. She had learned this spell here, pressed against these walls, learning to become. Learning to disappear.
Alistair's eyes moved from her stone-plated arm to the tower walls behind her. The same grain. The same cold texture. The same faint blue threading the gray. It was like the tower had taught her to wear its skin.
âYou blend in a bit too well,â he said quietly.
She said nothing. Her fingers traced the wall beside her, cold with accumulated magic. Centuries of mages drawing power from its foundations.
Morrigan reformed. The transformation was seamless, practicedâone form flowing into another without resistance.
âCurious. The Chantry may have built their Circle here, on doctrineâ she said. âThey never understood what they were standing on. And here you are, wearing stone like a second skin.â
âIt's resistant,â Emma said.
âMmm. And what of those who remain inside? What shall we find of them, I wonder?â
âI don't know,â Alistair said. âBut it won't be fun.â
They advanced slowly, boots whispering over stone dust and residue. The corridors narrowed into the apprentice quartersârooms that had once been quiet and orderly, where children learned to fear themselves in incremental doses.
Now the bunks lay overturned, blankets soaked with blood and worse. A staff lay broken across a doorway. Someone's primer on elemental theory had been torn in half, pages scattered.
âYou know how this usually ends,â Alistair said, his voice carefully neutral. âOnce a demon's inside someone, there's a point where there isn't a person left to save.â
âI know,â Emma said.
âI was there for a Harrowing. Only one. She fought it for hours. Said all the right things. And when it broke her, it happened fast. We didn't hesitate. We couldn't.â
His admission settled between them. Emma swallowed. It might as well have been Areli he was describing.
ââŠI didn't have much interest in becoming a templar after that,â he added, quieter.
She slowed, then stopped. Stone scraped softly as she turned. âI'm not asking you to forget what you know,â she said.
He looked at her. Torchlight caught in his eyes, restless and bright. His pulse was too fastâshe could feel his life intensely, seeping through the uneven texture of the Veil.
She closed her eyes, focusing on him, and brought more beats into focusâ Leliana. Morrigan.
Others. Distantly, barely, arguably alive. Thralls, perhaps. They faded away. She couldn't keep them in sight.
âYou've gotten⊠braver,â Alistair said. âComing back here, of all places. For the Circle. For Connor. For people who might already be gone.â
âWe keep winning,â she said lightly. âIt's made me cocky.â
âYou're not cocky. You'reâEmma, you're terrifying. Because from where I'm standing, you look like someone who's about to throw herself at every demon in this tower if it means saving one more person.â
âAnd that's usually your job.â
âMaybe. Probably. But that's notâI'm supposed to be the stupid one here.â
âYou were,â she corrected. âNow look at you. So wise.â
Behind them, Morrigan made a soft sound of disgust. â'Tis touching, truly. Shall we discover whether this foray is justified?â
Alistair studied Emma for another heartbeat, cold fear and something warmer entangled in his gut. âJust so we're clearâif I see an abomination, I'm not asking it nicely to surrender.â
She turned and started forward. âFair. Stay close.â
âAlways do.â
The stone resonated under Emma's boots. It remembered her.
Bodies lay scattered across the flagstones in interrupted motion: running, falling, reaching. Youth, mostly. Some very small. The abominations had, she realized, killed the most obedient first. Each corpse marked a rupture, a place where the thin boundary chafed between the material and the Fade.
She felt Wynne's magic before she saw her. It was slightly wrong. Complete, but frayed, numb.
The senior enchanter stood before the stairwell to the basement, one hand braced against the doorframe, the other raised in a warding gesture, flickering at edges. Ash and blood stained her robes. Behind her, pressed to the wall, a knot of apprentices and junior enchanters watched with absolute stillness.
Wynneâs head snapped up. Her eyes widened.
âYou?â Genuine surprise. âYouâve returned to the tower? How?â
Emma halted. She let the stone plating dissolve, revealing herself plainly.
âThrough the front door.â
Wynneâs mouth tightened. âForgive me, but I am in a rather unpredictable situation. The templars have barred the doors. They will only open them if they mean to attack us. Why did they let you pass?â
Emma didnât answer at once. She watched the apprentices instead. One girl clutched a primer to her chest like a charm. A boy with burn scars along his arm kept his eyes fixed on the floor.
She knew this posture. The waiting.
âGreagoir petitioned for the Right of Annulment,â Emma said. âHeâs waiting on reinforcements from Denerim.â
Wynne absorbed this without flinching. âThen he believes the Circle beyond hope. Dead, or worse.â
âHe does.â Emmaâs gaze returned to Wynne. âYouâre evidence otherwise.â
âThey have abandoned us,â Wynne said evenly. âBut trapped as we are, weâve survived. If the Right is invoked, however, we will not withstand it.â
The Veil pressed close around them, pocketed and punctured. Not demons yet. Fragments. Curious things. The Fadeâs fingers probing at mortality. The tower felt feverish with it. Every death fed the pressure, and there had been many.
âWhat happened?â Emma asked.
Wynneâs composure settled into place, lecture-ready. âA revolt. Led by an enchanter named Uldred. When he returned from Ostagar, he attempted to seize control of the Circle. As you can see, it did not end as he intended. I do not know his fate, but this is unquestionably his doing. I will not see the Circle lost to one manâs pride.â
Uldred. The name meant little to Emma, even having met him at Ostagar. Another enchanter. Another loud voice in endless debates. She had likely passed him a hundred times. He had killed nearly everyone sheâd known, and she still could not summon the energy to hate him specifically.
âI told Greagoir Iâd clear the tower,â Emma said.
Wynne considered this. âIf he sees that the Circle can still be made safe, I trust he will tell his men to stand down. He is not unreasonable.â
âHeâll only reopen the doors if Irving vouches for whatâs left,â Emma said.
A pause. Then a nod. âThen Irving must be found. I sealed the passage into the upper tower to protect the children. The barrier will not permit entry while it holds, but I will dispel it if you join me.â
Emma studied the spell. Golden light stretched across the doorway like a living membrane, pulsing faintly in time with Wynneâs breath. Spirit magic. Anchored in endurance. Elegant. And costly.
Wynneâs breathing was too careful. She was managing pain.
Behind them, Emma heard Alistairâs armor settle against stone. Lelianaâs near-silent step. Morrigan she did not hear at all, but felt nearby in the way one feels a storm building.
They had become a machine. Adding Wynne would change the rhythm.
âThe children,â Emma said, glancing back. âTheyâll be safe here?â
âPetra and Kinnon will guard them. If we slay all the fiends we encounter above, nothing will reach this place.â
The basement was defensible. Narrow access. Easy to barricade. Anything that broke through would have to come through Emma first.
âYou should stay,â she said.
âNo.â Wynne didnât hesitate. âI know this tower, and I know what we face. And if the Circle is lost, I will see it with my own eyes.â
Emma suppressed a sigh. Wynne wasnât just a healer. She was Senior Enchanter. Areliâs mentor. A name that carried weight in ways Emmaâs never would. If Irving was deadâand Emma gave that even oddsâthen Wynne was the next best thing.
Possibly. If Greagoir stood to reason- less than even odds.
âYou know more than the templars,â Emma said finally.
Wynne inclined her head. The barrier dissolved like mist under sun. The stairwell exhaled darkness, char, and iron.
Alistair arrived at Emmaâs shoulder. Leliana flanked her. Wynne gathered her robes and followed.
âThis is Senior Enchanter Wynne,â Emma said. âSheâs joining us.â
Alistair straightened slightly. âSenior Enchanter.â
âA Grey Warden,â Wynne said, taking in the stance, the sword, the bearing. âI'm pleased to meet you.â
Then Leliana. Then Morrigan, where her expression shuttered into practiced neutrality. And back to to Emma. âYou were in my lectures, werenât you? Years ago.â
Emma had stood in them for three years.
âI was.â
Morrigan pushed off the wall, words sharp and deliberate. âYou would have us rescue these pathetic mages? They submit to cages and call it order. Now their keepers choose death for them. Let them have it.â
Wynne turned, startled. Emma did not.
âYou could have been one of them,â Emma said. âIf things were different.â
Morriganâs eyes narrowed. The strike landed.
âHad my mother not intervened, perhaps,â she said softly. Then harder. âAm I to feel gratitude for that? Things are as they must be.â
âYouâre consistent,â Emma said.
âYes,â Alistair said. âBoundless generosity.â
Wynne disengaged to speak with the apprentices, her voice low and steady, the tone of practiced reassurance.
When she returned, Emma looked at her once more. âAre you sure?â
âIâll manage,â Wynne said, granite beneath the politeness.
They moved toward whatever was left.
âRight. Well. I'm Alistair, by the way. This is Leliana, and the charming woman currently glowering at all of us is Morrigan. We're here to help. and slay evil. more or less.â
âSo I gathered.â Wynne softened. âYour company is certainly eclectic.â
âWe're well-rounded,â he said brightly. âCovers all the bases. Someone to fight things, someone to heal things, someone to set things on fire. Someone to disapprove of everything...â
âHow very diplomatic,â sneered Morrigan. âHave you forgotten, 'someone to march through caltrops'?â
âYes, that's everyone,â said Emma.
They cleared the floor methodically, the last abomination collapsing in a wet sprawl that echoed down the stairwell. Emma pressed her back to the wall, breathing through the residual hum while Alistair checked the landing ahead.
âClear,â he called back, then paused. âFor now.â
She pushed off the wall and joined him, but he didnât move on. He stood there instead, helmet tucked under his arm, eyes fixed on the stairs. Lingering, hesitating to face her, working up to something.
âWhat?â she asked.
âI was just thinking,â he said carefully, âabout what you asked me. Back in the Wilds. How I became a Grey Warden.â
âYes?â
âBut you never reallyâI mean, you haven't said much about...â He shifted his weight. âDuncan conscripted you, too. From here.â
âHe did.â
âBecause of Jowan.â
There it was. She'd been waiting for this since Redcliffe, since they'd found that pathetic, terrified man in the dungeon. Since Alistair had looked at her and not asked.
âYes,â she repeated.
âThe blood mage,â he went on, too quickly. âThe one who poisoned Arl Eamon.â
âI know who he is.â
âI didnât meanââ Alistair stopped himself. âI know you didnât know heâd do that.â
âI didnât.â
âBut you helped him escape.â His voice was gentle, but she heard the edge underneath.
âI knew what the templars were going to do to him.â
âHe was practicing blood magic,â Alistair said, a fact heâd been turning over too many times. âIn the Circle.â
âThey accused him first,â Emma said softly, then louder: âThey were sharpening the knife; He twisted it.â
âEmmaââ
âHe was...â her friend? Not quite. âHe was desperate. And he was one of the only people I had left.â
That gave him pause.
âThey were going to make him Tranquil,â she continued. âOr kill him. Quietly. Officially. So yes, I helped him.â
âAnd then he poisoned Eamon.â
âAnd then he poisoned Eamon,â she said, without flinching. âAnd Lily was sent to Aeonar.â
Alistair looked at her for a long moment. âYou feel guilty.â
âOf course I do.â Her voice cracked, just slightly. âI thought I could save someone the Circle had already condemned. Now our best shot at an ally is dying.â
She turned away, staring up at the spiral of stairs they still had to climb. The stairwell groaned faintly above them, something shifting in the dark.
âIf I hadnât helped him,â she said, âheâd already be dead. Or worse. And Iâd be living with that instead.â
âItâs not the same,â Alistair said. His hands curled into fists.
âNo,â she agreed. âI didnât want Duncan to drag me out of this tower. Jowan didnât want to poison anyone. But here we are.â
He stared at her, realization hitting hard: âIf I hadnât helped him,â she went on, âDuncan wouldnât have conscripted me. I wouldnât be here. I wouldnât be a Grey Warden.â
âSo what,â Alistair said at last, voice tight, âwe just accept that people die and itâs inevitable and none of our choices matter?â
âNo.â Emma sagged slightly. âI donât know. I justââ
People die. It's what they do. The veil was thin. She often heard the voices of the dead, or...something else. This one chilled her.
She shook her head. âI canât undo what Jowan did. I canât save Eamon from whatâs already happening. But I can save whoeverâs still alive in this tower.â
âAnd if there isnât anyone left?â
âThen we tried.â She turned back to him. She met his eyes. âThat has to be enough. Remember?â
Alistair was quiet for a moment. Then he nodded, just once.
âI'm sorry,â he said. âFor keeping secrets. For making you lead blind. After everything...â
She didnât answer right away. When she did, it was softer, reluctant.
âI still trust you,â she looked at himâ pitiful. Like it was a burden. He would have longed to hear these words, but not like this. He absorbed it like a blow.
âIâm sorry too,â she added. âFor Jowan. For Eamon. For all of it.â
As they climbed, he spoke again, quieter.
âFor what it's worthâI understand why you did it. Helped him. Even knowing how it turned out.â
âDo you?â
âDuncan saved me from the Chantry. If he hadn't, I'd probably have done something stupid. Maybe hurt someone in the process.â He glanced at her, making more excuses.
âWe're all just one bad decision away from being Jowan,â he added.
âProbably true.â
âIsn't it?â He managed a weak grin. âLet's try not to prove it today.â
Owain confirmed what they suspected: The abominations had been summoned by blood mages. She focused on the voices, whispers of the living and the dead, while leading the party through the halls. They now followed living voices aheadâlow, urgent, edged with the particular desperation of people who'd chosen wrong and knew it.
ââshould never have listened to Uldredââ
âToo late for that. We agreed. Loghain would free us fromââ
âFrom what? Look around! This isn't freedom, it'sââ
Emma raised one hand. Alistair, pacing ahead, heard her, going still mid-stride, shield already half-raised. Leliana melted into the doorframe's shadow. Wynne's hands flickered with potential light, held in reserve like drawn breath.
The blood mages were clustered in what had been a reading room. Shelves torn down, books scattered like broken birds. Three of them: two women, one man, robes stained and torn, hands crackling with stolen power. They were arguing over a corpse.
Emma watched their patterns. The way the taller woman kept glancing toward the far door. How the man's fingers twitchedânot nervousness, muscle memory, preparing a specific cast. The third mage standing slightly apart, already regretting, already beaten.
She didn't announce herself. She stepped just far enough into the threshold for light of the spell wisp to bound around the corner, so Alistair could be seen.
The effect was immediate. All three mages turned, power flaring instinctively. The tall one's hands came up, blood magic already coilingâ
Alistair took exactly three steps forward and stopped. Just there, shield angled, a wall made manifest. Visible. Threatening. Bait.
âOh, Maker,â one mage breathed. âTemplarsââ
âNo,â the tall one hissed. âWardens.â
Emma had already cast. Mana Drain, silent and surgical, threading through the Fade to puncture the tall mage's reserves. The woman gasped, stumbling, her prepared spell guttering like a candle in wind. Blood magic demanded fuelâmana or health, take your pick. Emma had just forced her hand.
Leliana's bow unleashed a pinning shot, perfectly placedâthe man's shoulder bloomed red and he jerked backward, his casting arm suddenly useless, spell collapsing into sparks.
âHold,â Emma said. Not loud. Barely more than conversational. But the room heard it.
The third mageâthe one who'd been apart, who'd been doubtingâraised her hands. Surrender? Or another cast? Emma's staff shifted fractionally. Waiting.
The tall woman snarled and drew on her own blood. The spell came fast and vicious, a lash of crimson force that cracked toward Alistairâ
âand shattered against his shield with a sound like breaking glass. Something in his armor rang, a discordant note that made Emma's teeth ache. The magic dissipated around him, like heat cooled by water.
But the tall mage was committed now, health-cost casting, desperate and accelerating toward her own death. Perfect.
Emma patiently injected the truth she already knew. He was already finished. The spell sank in quietly, unraveling what kept him upright. The mage didn't feel it. He was too busy bleeding herself dry for one more strikeâ
Leliana's second arrow found her throat. The mage went down in stagesâon knees, falling forward, landing. Then still.
For one heartbeat, nothing happened.
Emma felt the corpse hollowing.
Then, it bloomed.
The explosion was concussive, beautiful, precise. It caught the man mid-cast, still trying to work around his pinned shoulder, and the force threw him into the bookshelf with a bone-crack on wood. He didn't get up.
The third mage screamed and ranânot toward the door, toward cover, fleeingâ
Emma blasted her mid-stride. A punctuation mark on their victory. The mage's ankles folded and she hit the stone, stunned, defenseless.
She pulled from the two corpses. Emma felt a correction. Like water in a bowl, finding its level after being tipped. The tower was pouring into her now. It had been draining into her since they'd climbed past the apprentice quarters. Every death returned, a closed circle, elegant and terrible.
She watched the stunned mage, calculating. Wynne's eyes darted toward Emma, then away, moving forward, her Group Heal still uncast, held like insurance.
The mage on the floor was breathing in hitches, consciousness returning in stages. Young. Emma's age. Her fingers twitched toward a spell she didn't have the mana for.
âDon't,â Emma said quietly.
The mage froze.
Leliana emerged from the shadows, arms taught, ready to pull her arrow against the string. Alistair shifted his weight, clinking an audible threat.
Emma crouched, just out of reach. Her mana thrummed aggressively. For a moment, she considered ending her.
âEm?â
Alistair hadnât moved. Shield still up. Still angled. Emma could feel her own mind on all pistons, what he didn't say: Are we doing this? Is this the cost now?
She relaxed, slightly. And asked the blood mage with one word: âUldred?â
The mage's eyes were wide, terrified, but coherent. âGone mad. Heâwe thoughtâLoghain promisedââ Her voice cracked. âWe just wanted to be free.â
âI know.â
âWe wanted what you have. To choose.â
Emma smiled bitterly. She didn't smile often, but for this?
This mage who'd chosen blood magic for freedom and found only a different cage. The blood mage was young enough to still beg, old enough to know begging rarely worked.
Behind her, she felt Wynne's disapproval like weight. Felt Alistair's tension, his Templar instincts warring with whatever he'd become. Felt Leliana, still waiting.
âThe Chantry won't take you back,â Emma said. âAnd you'll die alone.â
âI know.â Barely a whisper.
Emma stood. The mage watched her, desperate hope and resignation shining alike in her eyes.
âGood luck,â Emma said. âDon't let me see you again.â
The mage nodded too fast, scrambled up and ran, stumbling, not looking back.
Alistair exhaled slowly. âThat wasââ
âMercy,â Wynne cut in, but her tone was complex. Not quite approval nor censure. Understanding, perhaps. Or recognition of something she wished she didn't understand.
Emma was already moving toward Irving's study, where she knew forbidden knowledge was waiting for her. Her hands were steady. Her reserves were full. Death Syphon had seen to that.
Behind her, Leliana lowered her bow and crossed herself, whispering something in Orlesian that might have been prayer or might have been regret.
Alistair fell into step beside Emma, shield still ready, armor silent in negative of the ringing that had been.
They had found survivors. And now saved at least one Circle Mage.
Emma felt the weight of itânot guilt, exactly. Something colder. She was learning which deaths paid for others. The Spellwisp coiled tighter at her shoulders. Rock Armor settled deeper into sinew.
She cleaned it against her sleeve with careful deliberation, then held it up.
âLeliana.â
The bard turned, bow lowered. âYes?â
âThis looks nice,â said Emma. âDo you like it?â
Leliana's face brightened. âOh, how dear of you! Thank you so much!â She clasped it around her neck, pressing it to her chest as though it might warm her. âIt's beautiful.â
A small, almost-smile flickered across Emma's faceâthen she turned back to the wreckage.
Wynne studied the ceiling with elaborate concentration. Alistair watched from his post at the doorway, head tilted. Neither spoke.
The Chantry lay gutted. Cabinets torn open, candles crushed underfoot, holy texts scattered like autumn leaves after the first hard wind. Emma moved through the debris with the method of someone conducting an inventory, or perhaps an autopsy. She checked bodies without flinching. Opened drawers that groaned on broken hinges. Pocketed reagents, a cracked ring, vials whose contents she recognized by weight and color.
Behind an overturned statueâAndraste herself, face-down in dustâEmma found what she had been looking for: a glass vial. Blood sloshed sluggishly inside, old and dark.
A phylactery. Her breath caught.
She held it up to the light. She hopedâ
The crystal was fractured through the center, hairline cracks branching like frost.
Not hers. The blood was too dark, the seal decades old.
The vial grew hot in her palm.
âEmmaââ Wynne began.
It shattered.
The blood didn't spill. It rose, spiraling upward. Bone erupted from the vortex's eye, snapping into place with splintering sounds. Armor manifested around the assembling skeletonârusted and pitted, bearing unfamiliar heraldry. Orlesian, maybe. Old.
The face inside the helm was skeletal, empty sockets glowing with rage.
Emma barely had time to swear before it pulled them.
The force hit her like a hook in her sternum. Her boots skidded across stone as she slid toward it. Wynne staggered. Leliana grabbed for a bench and missed, her bow clattering away.
âSpread out!â Alistair shouted, shield already up as he charged to intercept.
Emma pulled herself up by her staff. Stone locked around her limbs. She struck first with mana drainâprobing, testing if it had mana. It didn't. She adjusted. The spellwisp flared, orbiting tight and frantic.
Leliana recovered her bow and loosed a shot. The arrow struck true and shattered against ancient plate. The revenantâs gaze fixed on her. Alistair shouted her name. It pulled again.
This time she had nothing to brace against. Her boots left the floor. The blade met her halfway. The sound was brief and wet. She crumpled.
Wynne's power flooded the room, golden light washing over Leliana's still form. It bought seconds. The revenant raised its sword again.
âAlistair-!â Emma cast on it spitefully. The magic burrowed inward, spirit warring against spirit. The revenant didn't care. It kept moving.
âI'm trying!â Alistair slammed into the ancient steel; It turned. He took a blow on his shield that rang like a bell. It sent him skidding backward.
Wynne followed with shimmering wards, hands glowing steady as the revenant's spectral chain whipped past her shoulder.
Emma hurled lightning. It crawled across the armor and grounded into the floor. Something flaked away. She was hurting it. Slowly. Too slowly.
But she had its attention now. It drifted toward her.
She thrust flame between themâfire to buy distanceâthen turned and ran. Hot air scattered papers and shattered glass. The revenant staggered through the fireâ
âand pulled again.
The force drove Emma to her knees. Her staff spun away. She slid helplessly forward and collided with it. Stone armor spared her from being split open. It shattered instead, the impact knocking the breath from her, vision clouding as she tumbled into debris.
She heard Alistair's boots hammering stone, catching up, always catching up...
Her hands were empty. Just stone, blood, and the sound of his shield taking blow after blow.
Wynne tried to reposition. The pull caught her mid-incantation and slammed her down hard enough to knock the sound from her lungs.
Emma rolled, trying to break the pullâs geometry. Pain lanced through her side as a chain caught and dragged her back. Her spell guttered out. The wisp died.
Leliana and Wynne were still. Emma lay near the shattered phylactery, blood darkening the stone beneath her.
The revenant turned its full attention on him.
âOh,â Alistair breathed. âMaker.â
The pull came for him.
He drank without thinking. One potion, then another, bitter burn barely registering. He was readyâshield braced, knees bent. The revenant's blade came down.
The impact on his shield drove him to one knee. His arm shook.
âNotâtodayââ he grunted, and shoved back.
The revenant barely moved. It raised its sword again.
Alistair threw his first bomb. Frost crept across rusty plate in a thin shell. The revenant's next swing came slower. Not much. Enough.
He rolled aside, came up in a crouch, fumbled for another potion. He tossed it back, then threw another bomb. Shock. Lightning ripped through the frost-slick metal. The revenant convulsed and sagged.
He slammed into it, shield-first, then retreated as the pull dragged him back in. He caught himself on a bench that shattered under his weight.
No bombs left. Three potions. A sword that felt like lead. If he didn'tâ
The revenant roared, advancing, pulling, refusing to die, slashing at him. Had he been slower, it would have carved him. His shield cracked. His arm went numb. He pushed back anyway.
The revenant raised its blade again.
Alistair raised his shield.
But the revenant collapsed.
Chains clattered as it imploded, unraveling into ash. The pressure in the room vanished. Silence rushed in to fill the space it left behind.
Alistair dropped to his knees, chest heaving, shield slipping from his fingers.
âStay down,â he muttered. âJust stay down.â
It did.
He laughed weakly, looking over the smoking remains in disbelief, ashes drifting over him. His arm shook violently now that he wasnât forcing it to work.
Then he heard Emma groan, and he was on his feet again. She lay near the shattered phylactery, arm over the base of a ruined dais, pulling herself up. Blood soaked her robes along the ribs.
He knelt, a health potion already in his hands, pressed to hers. âDrink.â
She did, wincing. The wound began to knit itself back together with the potion's reluctant magic. He scooted her staff toward her with his boot.
âLelianaââ Emma tensed with effort.
âI know.â He was already looking past her, scanning the room. âI'll get her. Justâ Don't go anywhere.â
She nodded.
Leliana lay twisted, one arm beneath her, bow shattered nearby. A faded echo of Wynne's magic clung to her. He rolled her carefully and lifted her head to press another potion to her lips.
âCome on,â he murmured. âDonât make me explain this later.â
She swallowed. Her eyes fluttered open.
âDid weâŠ?â she whispered.
âYeah,â he answered. âBarely.â
Wynne stirred next, rolling onto her side with a pained sound. She drew in a careful breath, then another, testing herself. âThat,â she said faintly, âwas deeply unpleasant.â
âThatâs one word for it,â he replied, looking her over. She nodded. He returned to Emma.
She'd managed to sit upright, staff planted like a crutch, hands trembling as she uncorked a mana potion. She drank with her eyes unfocused.
He sat beside her. She heard him in the armor, still shaking.
âYou killed it.â Her voice was quiet, focusing. His cracked shield. The bruising beneath mail. The way he'd favored one leg.
âWe did,â he replied.
âI didn't see the end.â Something tightened in his chest at the way she looked at himâwide-eyed, unguarded.
âI did,â he said. âI threw every bomb I had. Drank nearly every potion. Threw at it whatever I could grab. It went down. And stayed that way.â
She leveraged closer, using her staff. He felt her magic ease bruising, returning feeling to his arm. No flourish. No light.
âNext time,â he said quietly, âlet's not shatter mysterious bloody vials.â She reached up and unbuckled his helm. His voice broke as her fingers brushed his neck and lifted it.
âSorryââ she started.
He shook his head, refusing apology. She exhaled.
Behind them, ash settled. Wynne helped Leliana sit. The tower creaked around them. Emma looked past, surveying wreckage.
âWe should keep moving,â Wynne suggested without conviction.
âEm,â he said quietly when she didn't respond.
âIn a minute.â
He knew that look. She was reconstructing the fight. He could see it in her eyesâthe pulls, the failures, the moment everything went wrong. Processing debris, bomb casings, scattered glass. All the desperate improvisation that had bought them life.
Another lesson learned.
It knew.
She knew.
Blood magic, the scroll declared in its careful, academic hand, is not separate from the natural order but woven through itâthe body's covenant with itself, the magical currency by which flesh purchases its own continuation.
She sat on the cold stone floor of the Great Hall, surrounded by the quiet aftermath of violence. Lyrium residue clung to the walls like frost, glittering faintly in the light of her spell-wisp. The wisp hovered at shoulder height, less companion than captive, its glow sullen.
The scrolls hadnât even been hidden. The maleficarum had been bold. Or careless. They lay scattered among mundane reports and lesson notes, buried by boredom rather than secrecy. Sheâd found illegal correspondence, yes, but most of it had been tedious. These sheâd found by accident.
Or by instinct.
She spread the scrolls across her lap, one after another. Pieces of something larger. A theory. A practice. A justification, or perhaps a confession. The handwriting shifted from cramped and frantic to smooth and assured, the pen of someone who believed their work would outlive them.
Creation magic assumes equilibrium, one scroll read. It seeks to restore what was, to maintain the fiction of balance. But the body knows better. It only moves forward. It must. The body is always in deficit, always borrowing against its own future. Life is debt.
She thought of Wynne in the classroom, years ago, standing before a diagram of the four humors. âCreation is the most difficult school,â Wynne had said, âbecause it requires you to listenâto the body, negotiate with the Fade, to the delicate interplay between what is and what could be. You cannot force Creation. You can only guide it.â
Emma had been a mediocre student of creation. Not incompetentâshe could stanch bleeding, mend bone, coax infection from woundsâbut never exceptional. Never like Areli.
Areli, who had brightly moved through Wynne's lessons, effortless. Areli, whose hands glowed with that particular gold light that marked true healers, the ones who didn't just repair damage but understood life. To her, the body was a language. A song. Something to be answered, not commanded.
Spirits listened to her.
Which was why the Templars watched her most closely.
Areliâs talent, and her beauty, had always drawn their attention.
âYouâre trying too hard,â Areli had told her once, during a late-night study session in the observatory. Theyâd been practicing on mice. Small cuts. Broken legs. Harmless injuries, if you knew what you were doing.
Emmaâs mouse had survived. Barely.
Areliâs was scurrying around its cage within minutes, bright-eyed and unbothered.
âI followed the process,â Emma had said, defensive.
âYou followed the steps,â Areli corrected gently. âThe body wants to heal itself, Em. You're supposed to help it remember. Don't push it.â
Emma had nodded and tried again. And again. Over months, over years, sheâd improved. She became competent. Useful.
Sheâd assumed it was practice. Repetition. The slow accumulation of skill.
But sitting there now, Banastorâs scrolls spread across her lap like an accusation, she understood.
It hadnât been Creation at all.
The mind is no more sacred than the knee, the small toe, or the ear. It's man's origin of reasoning, nothing more. And true reasoning requires connection to the rhythm of the blood, the tireless pounding of life.
It was beautiful. Familiar. And then:
Interupt this, and even the mind is yours to control.
She pressed her palms against her eyes, hard enough to see stars.
Areli had been a natural healer because she'd understood Creation. She'd listened to the body's song and harmonized with it. Her magic had been gentle, generous, a dialogue between self and other.
Emma's magic was nothing like that. Now she was discovering what it meant. Where it may lead her.
She was stealingâfrom the Fade, from the residual heat of recent deaths, from the tower itself, which had been so saturated with violence.
She was bleeding her enemies to keep her allies breathing. It was battle, yes. But also...
And it worked. It had always worked. Better than Creation ever had.
She stared down at her hands. Reagent ink darkened her palms. Old blood stained the creases. Capable hands. Hands that saved lives.
Hands that took without asking.
She didnât hear Alistair approach until his shadow fell across the scrolls.
âYou've been sitting there,â he said. âLeliana's worried you fell asleep sitting up. I said that was impossible, but she made me come check.â
âStill awake.â
âWhat are you reading?â he asked, gesturing at the scrolls.
âTheory,â she said.
âThrilling.â
âMm.â
He studied her, then leaned back against the bench. There was a cut above his eyebrow, scarred already, a thin white line that stood out against his skin. âYou seem⊠somewhere else.â
âI'm here. I'm tired.â
âWe're all tired.â He paused. âThis is something different.â
She began rolling the scrolls with careful precision. Slow. Methodical. As if they were nothing more than tedious paperwork. The parchment crackled softly.
âEmma,â he said, quieter. âThis was your home. You donât have to talk about it. But if somethingâs wrongâI'm here for you. You know that. Right?â
She hung her head. She thought of Areli, radiant and doomed, too bright to ignore. Jowan, bumbling and desperate, tolerated until he wasn't. And herself... slipping through the cracks because nobody thought to look twice.
âItâs strange,â she said. âI lost everyone I cared about beforeâŠâ Her throat tightened. âBefore Areli died, I never wouldâve considered helping Jowan.â
Alistair stilled. Heâd been tugging at his gauntlets, undoing them, pretending to be busy. âAreli?â
Emma nodded. She couldn't look at him. âShe would have been good at this. Wynne taught herâshe was going to be a spirit healer. She understood it like a native language. She was so good, Alistair.â
He had so many questions. But he went with: âAnd you weren't?â
âI was... above average. But I never had her instinct for it. I neverâŠâ She trailed off, fingers tightening on the scrolls. âShe helped people because she understood them. I save people because I'm stubborn.â
âStubborn works.â
âDoes it?â It does. But what does it cost?
âYou've saved me countless times. Sometimes while half-dead yourself. I'd say that's evidence in favor.â
She looked at him. He took it as an invitation to sit close. Earnest and unguarded. Bloodied with compassion that made him so dangerously easy to trust.
âWhat if I told you I don't understand how I did it?â
âI'd say nobody knows how they do half the things they do in the moment. You just⊠do them. And then you might figure out the how later.â
âAnd if the how is wrong?â
âEmma, you're scaring me a little. What are you getting at?â
She hesitated. I think every life I've saved has been paid for in ways I didn't understand. I think the Circle taught me how to hide what I was doing. From them. From myself.
But instead she said: âIt should have been her. She should be doing this. Not me.â
âThat... sounds familiar. You talked to me about this. When we talked about Duncan.â Alistair swallowed. âYou're alive and she's not,â he said quietly. âIt's just what happened. None of this is fair. You know that, but for what it's worth... I know it's hard to accept. And I'm so sorry.â
âIf I hadn'tâ If I had protected herââ
âYou were a kid yourself.â
âI'm not much more, now.â
âYou are. And you did what you could.â He reached out, hesitated, and took her hand. She looked down, watching. Her fingers over and through his, tightening. The blood in his wrist, pulsing. âYou can't save everyone. No exceptions for the people you love.â
âIâm not who I thought I was.â
He considered that. âWould that be so terrible?â
âProbably.â
âWell.â He squeezed her hand. âWhoever you are, you're the person who keeps pulling my sorry ass out of the fire. So I'm pretty fond of her, actually.â
Emma blinked back tears.
âEspecially if sheâs stubborn,â he added. âAreli sounds like the kind of person whoâd be proud of you.â
He didnât know what he was saying. Not yet.
But he wasnât wrong.
The scrolls rested heavy in her lap, their secrets pressing close.
âYouâre right,â she said quietly.
She had fallen into this place often enough that the descent no longer frightened her. The pull downward, the roots at her ankles, the patient tug of something that would wait forever.
Then the ground firmed.
Stone replaced mud. Cool, familiar. Emmaâs boots found purchase on worn flagstones. Light of the morning's angle filtered through arrow slits of Kinloch Hold.
She was standing in the library.
Not the Circleâs library. No tidy rows, no chained tomes, no careful cataloging she'd tended. Books lay open on tables and benches, spines cracked, margins crowded with notes in several hands. Charts overlapped. A cup of tea steamed beside a stack of vellum, forgotten but not cold.
A productive chaos of mages working, rather than being worked.
And a woman moving between the shelves.
Emma knew the line of her body before she saw her face. Light-footed. Unhurried. Ginger curls loose around her shoulders, faintly streaked of crimson.
Areli turned, saturated in freckles, smiling. An impossibly vivid image.
âThere you are,â she said. Pleased, as if Emma had stepped out for ink. âDid you get lost in those charts, again?â
The voice hit her harder than the image. The rise at the end of the sentence. The certainty pretending to be a question.
âI wasââ Emma started, but her voice caught. What was she doing? Where had she been? There was something she was supposed to be doing. Something urgent.
âWorking,â Areli said, fondly. âYou always are.â
She gestured with the book in her hand, a restricted volume Emma once requested and been denied.
âCome on. Jowan and Lily will be here soon, and you know how he gets if dinnerâs late.â
Emma didnât remember moving, but the library gave way to the hall. Warm stone. Herbs drying from a line near the hearth. Someone had repaired the crack in the south wall.
âWhat is this?â she asked.
Areli arched her brows, just slightly. âItâs Tuesday.â
That didnât help.
âYou said youâd help me recalibrate the lenses tonight,â Areli continued. âAfter dark.â
Emma looked around. Everything was⊠fine. Comfortably worn. No tension in the air. No sense of being watched.
âThereâs no Chantry here,â Areli said gently, anticipating the thought. âNo templars. No Circle.â
It was a lot of explanation for a Tuesday.
âWhy would there be?â Emma asked, and meant it.
Areli laughed, soft and musical. âExactly. We left all that behind years ago. After everything went wrong.â
She spoke of it like a closed chapter. Finished.
âItâs just a tower now,â Areli said. âFor people like us.â
She crossed to the window and beckoned.
The courtyard should have been empty.
It wasnât.
Mages moved through the garden plots, older ones arguing amiably over soil amendments, younger ones practicing the same simple cantrips again and again. Sparks of harmless color. Controlled. Identical.
Children ran between the beds, shrieking with laughter.
âJowanâs twins,â Areli said. âTerrorising the herbs. Theyâre supposed to be helping. Lily says weâre too permissive.â She smiled. âAfter everything we went through, I think a little chaos is medicine.â
The childrenâs magic flared again. Red. Blue. Green. The same colors. The same shapes.
âHow?â Emma asked. She hated how much she wanted the answer.
âYou helped,â Areli said, simply.
Emma turned back to her, studying her face. The smile was right. The warmth was right.
But Areli had never been like this.
âI know itâs not perfect,â Areli said, reading the hesitation. âThings still break. People still argue. But itâs ours.â
She reached for Emmaâs hand.
âIsnât that better than dying for someone elseâs war?â
The words landed softly. Too softly.
Emmaâs fingers brushed against wood. She looked down, startled to find not her staff but a walking stick, polished smooth by use. Balanced. Unnecessary.
There was no danger here. Why would there be danger?
She closed her eyes.
Don't look now, but, well, look now!
and opened them.
Emma understood with sudden, terrible clarity what the demon was offering. Just these mages. The ones she'd known. The ones she'd loved. Permission to care for them and nothing else.
The demon wasn't merely offering her Areli.
It was offering her permission to stop.
âNo,â Emma said.
Areli blinked. âWhat?â
âThis isnât right.â
Confusion flickered across Areliâs face, followed by something sharper. Need.
âYouâre tired,â she said. âYouâve always pushed too hard.â
Emma's voice gained strength. âYou wouldn't want me to stop.â
Areliâs smile trembled. âWe had to. The Circle was going to break us.â
âYou tried to break free,â Emma said quietly. âIt killed you.â
âI know,â she whispered. âBut it doesn't have to be that way. If weâd justâ if youâd justââ
âIf I'd just what?â Emma demanded. âLet the blight and the war kill everyone?â
âYes,â Areli said, the word tearing out of her. âYes, Emma. Just us. Isnât that enough?â
Through the windows, she could still see the courtyard, the children. It would be so easy to step into it. This circle she could hold in her arms.
Yes. It would have been enough for her. But Areli wanted more.
âStay,â Areli begged. âWe earned this.â
The figure straightened.
When she looked up again, something vast and patient stared out through Areliâs eyes.
âYou could have this,â the demon said. âAll of it.â
âYou would have hated this,â Emma said finally.
âI was wrong,â the demon replied. âLook what happened when I tried. Look what happened to the tower. You knew better.â
âYes,â Emma said. âI did.â
And now she knew what it cost.
She listened. Past the illusion. Past the peace and quiet.
She heard Lelianaâs prayers, her lovely blasphemy. Morriganâs sharp observations, alive with friction. Wynneâs lectures, infuriating, but real. The mabariâs bark. The sound of people who would die if she closed her eyes.
And Alistair, who'd learned to disrupt silence just to make sure someone was still there.
Just checking.
And the silence that would come if she stayed.
What remained was the Fadeâs familiar architecture. Putrid standing water. The quiet tedium of dreaming resumed.
An enchanter stood near the edge of the stone platform, staring at nothing in particular, as if the nothing might eventually blink first.
She pushed herself upright, staff already in hand, stone armor settling into familiar weight against her limbs. Her hands were steady. That worried her.
She moved without sound. He didn't turn.
âWho are you?â he asked. Then, immediately, âNo. Donât answer that. It doesnât matter.â
âI'm Emma,â she said. âI left with the Grey Wardens.â
The man nodded once, as if sheâd confirmed something heâd already misplaced. Then he turned. âRight.â
A pause. He frowned, searching the air beside her face.
His face showed something short of an expression. He straightened slightly. âYou wrote something. About proximity. Or distance. Or⊠managing risk.â
âYou read that? I'm sorry.â Even the ego-obliterating murk of the fade couldn't dull her embarrassment.
ââŠI think so.â He rubbed his thumb along the edge of his sleeve, again and again, a motion worn smooth by repetition. âPerhaps more than once. It was very sensible. Someone sensible wrote it.â
Emma didnât correct him.
The silence stretched. Emma watched him gaze into the stone pedal, ringed with runes. Fingers moving again, tracing patterns that led nowhere.
âIâm Niall,â he added, after a beat. âSorry. I should have started there. Names come later now. Sometimes they donât come at all.â
âOwain mentioned you,â she said.
âOwain. Yes. He kept count. Of things. He was good at that.â A faint, almost embarrassed smile flickered and died. âI donât think I ever paid him back.â
âYou were fighting the demon,â Emma said. âThe sloth demon.â
âI was trying to save the Circle.â He winced, just slightly. âThatâs not quite the same thing, is it?â
âYou escaped its dream,â he said. âThatâs⊠good. Well done. The demon traps everything that comes here in a dream it thinks they can'tâor won'tâtry to leave.â
âI thought I'd escaped, too. I stood there telling myself I was free. And then I started walking.â He gestured at the empty expanse around them, rippling. âI've been walking ever since.â
âHow long?â she asked.
âI don't know.â He said it without inflection. âIt felt like weeks. Then years. But I realized I don't know. It doesn't matter. There's nothing to measure against.â
Emma remembered meeting the demon on the 4th floor. Falling to the ground with fatigue, her companions sprawled around her. Staring into the face of Niall.
He stood there, hands on stone, and she saw him clearly: a man who cared for the Circle more deeply than she had, but never got as far.
âYou're still alive,â she said.
âAm I?â He considered this, seriously. âNothing dampens your spirit, does it?â
Niall immediately regretted it. He looked away. âI used to sound like that. I'm sorry.â
Emma stepped closer. âIt's alright. It's as you said. This place traps you.â
He gestured at the runes.
âYou see that pedestal? I've studied these. The sloth demon itself is on the center island, but you can't get there. The five islands around the center somehow form a protective ward.â
He paused. âI thought I was clever for noticing.â
âYou almost solved it,â Emma said.
âI made it to the fire river once,â Niall said, too quickly. âI stood there a long time convincing myself it was symbolic. That if I waited, it would calm down. It didnât.â
âThere are always obstacles,â he went on. âYou can see the path. Thatâs important. Seeing it keeps you here. A door that shows you freedom through a keyhole. A passage too small to fit your hand through.â He hesitated. âI saw a mouse. Once.â
âA mouse?â
âYes. Going back and forth. Very busy.â
âI met a mouse in the Fade, once...â she strained to remember.
âI thought if I could ask it what was on the other sideâŠâ He shook his head. âSilly.â
âYou could have become smaller,â Emma said. âLike it.â
âI thought about that.â His eyes flicked to her, sharp for half a second. âI thought about it for a long time. Oh, there are many. Many dreamers. Some think they are mice, others wolves, nightingales... or octopuses.â
âMy companions,â she said. âCould they be on the islands?â
âI don't know.â Niall's voice gentled, just slightly. âThere are many dreamers,â he repeated, âYou might find a way to reach them... if you're lucky.â
âTell me about the ward.â
âThe sloth demon has placed lesser demons on each island. I've seen them.â He paused. âDefeating them may be the only way to reach the sloth demon. But you have to get to them first. I...â
His voice dropped to a whisper. âI couldn't. I was too afraid to try.â
âI'm not afraid,â she lied. âThere must be a way out.â
It worked.
Niall looked at her. Really looked, for the first time since she'd arrived.
For a moment.
âI never thought Iâd die here,â Niall said. âIn a place like this. Alone.â
âself-destructive.
âIâm here,â Emma said.
He nodded, distracted. âRight. Some apprentice. You were always writing things down. Very serious.â A pause. âIâm sure you were very important to someone.â
âI don't want it to end like this,â Niall whispered. âDo you feel it? It's getting so cold.â
Emma felt something cold slide between her ribs. A bloodless feeling crept up her extremities.
No-
She forced herself to catch her breath.
I KNOW-!
The cold deepened.
âWhat do you know about the Litany of Andralla?â she forced herself to ask, forced her fingers to flex.
Morrigan used to say the mistake novices make is resisting the loss. Loss implies something was taken. You are trading, not surrendering. The wolf does not weep for its lack of wings.
My perspective lunges. Either the ground surges up or Iâm dropping. Same sensation: vertigo. The yellow mud-stone thrusts and stretches into a series of trenches and cliffs. Dust motes balloon. The air thickens.
The Fade is still jaundiced. Everything stained resin-yellow and sickly, blurring all sights. Even as a mouse, the world of dreams reappears as the exact same cage.
My spine compresses. Vertebrae fold into themselves like a telescope being packed away. Ribs curl inward, cage tightening, lungs shrinking to match. This is where it's impossible not to panic. Because breathing changes. Faster. Shallow. My heart accelerates until itâs no longer a beat but a vibration, a thrumming insect. Just as sticky and small.
The moment you notice your pulse, you have already departed from the form.
How am I supposed to stop thinking about that?
Blood vessels thread themselves thin as silk. My pulse buzzes in my teeth, which are growing, sharpening, pushing forward as my jaw elongates and narrows into something built for gnawing. I taste metal. Stone. Old fear baked into the tower like seasoning.
My hands go last. I watch it happen, because of course I do. Fingers shorten. Nails harden into claws. Fur erupts from my wrists in a crawling wave, patchy and electric at first, each follicle a needle of sensation, like my entire body is being tattooed from the inside out. Then it settles. Dense. Sleek.
I am suddenly not cold anymore.
That part surprised me. Morrigan never warned me about the relief. The way your brain, desperate for continuity, files fur under clothing and moves on. The mouse part doesnât bother with metaphor. It just accepts this as self.
The worst part. Or the best. Depends how attached you are to being human.
The senses rearrange.
Vision dims. Color drains away until the world is rendered in slate and motion, edges and threat vectors. But hearing sharpens to the point of violence. Every footstep is thunder. The slow drip of water quakes. The yellow fog hisses as it moves.
And then thereâs my nose.
Makerâs breath.
The world detonates into scent. Trails and layers and histories stacked on top of each other. I can smell where people walked hours ago. The salt-and-fear residue of blood mages who died screaming. Lyrium veins in the walls singing their metallic hymn. I can smell time. Fresh versus old. Recently touched stone versus stone that hasnât known contact in years. The Fade doesnât bother to hide any of it. Itâs proud of its data.
For a few seconds I am both. Human mind jammed into rodent. Thoughts. too big. for skull. Try to stand, immediately faceplant. Four legs. Updating locomotion rules. I try to speak. Produce a squeak. It is, objectively, humiliating.
Morrigan would have laughed. Not kindly.
The mouse logic isn't learned; It's remembered. Pre-verbal. Ancient. Whiskers sweep the air. Tail adjusts for balance. Paws grip mud and clay that my boots would have slipped on. I am small. Horrifyingly small. A boot could be an extinction-level event.
But I am fast.
And quiet.
And suddenly there are gaps where there were none before. Cracks are invitations. The yellow fog parts for me. I belong here. This is the scale the Fade travels.
Humanity receding, distant. Even now, canât stop analyzing my disintegration.
But the mouse doesnât wait.
The mouse moves.
Along the baseboards. Following scent-trails that curve and loop and lie. Heart races at a speed that would kill a human. Seems fine. Perfectly correct now.
Access is power.
I slip into a hole in the stone, yellow world stutters, rearranges itself around my small, clever trespass. I finally become mouse.
No, this is not how Morrigan became animal. I have not learned dominance over form. I learned the Fade sees me as prey. and how much effort it takes to keep moving anyway.
Then I snap back into myself with a sensation like rubber bands retracting through my skeleton.
The corridor ahead branched into identical yellow-hazed chambers. Two darkspawn lumbered at the intersectionâgenlocks. They hadnât noticed her yet. Good.
Emma drained their mana through the Fadeâs sick-yellow atmosphere. One genlock staggered as its reserves hemorrhaged into hers. The second charged, which meant thrusting fire as it came toward her.
It hit hard. She fumbled through applying her defensive magic. It was typically automatic, typically never forgotten. Now applied too late.
Killing fake darkspawn was still physical, visceral, wrong. She still metabolized their cessation. As she did, for a moment, she felt the real-world stone under her sleeping form. Her companions on the same floor, alive and breathing. And Niall...barely.
Through the next door: more hurlocks. These saw her immediately, which meant she was thinking like a human againâstanding at sword-height, visible, an acceptable target. The mouse would have stayed low. Would have been smarter.
Lightning cracked across the lead hurlock. Flame Blast caught the cluster. She didnât wait to see them fall. She was already moving toward the western wall, toward the next mouse hole, toward the next reduction.
The transformation is faster. Or I'm accepting it faster. Spine contracting, heart whining, the world becoming scent. Yellow mud and old fear and something, someone newâ
Blood. Fresh. Human-shaped. Not human.
The Templar Spirit is ahead, surrounded. I can smell him. Ozone and righteousness and lyrium.
The institutional cocktail that makes templars what they are.
It's holding a line. Shield up, sword arcing with methodical precision. Three darkspawn pressing, maybe four. It doesnât dodge. Doesnât need to. Impact absorbs undynamically.
The darkspawn are focused entirely forwardâsword-height. Design flaw. The emissaries hang back, casting from safety. Collectively stupid. I surge through the hole, whiskers catching residual mana like static.
The Templar Spirit doesnât acknowledge me. Itâs creating the openingâholding aggro, drawing everybody. Being seen so I donât have to be.
I weave between legs and boots, tasting stink of blood in the air, my tiny heart hammering. The emissaries never look down. Why would they?
I emerge behind them.
The world lurched back into painful clarity as her spine snapped to human proportions. Both emissaries turned, but she was already casting. Mind Blast caught the first mid-incantation. The second pulled on its own life to accelerateâclassic blood magic. Over-correction and desperation.
She seeded her spiritual bomb and stepped back. The Templar Spirit pivoted, shield raised, corralling the front line into a tighter cluster. Giving her detonation radius. The bomb went off.
Meat and magic scattered across the tar-stained stone. The Templar Spirit cleaved through. Then it turned to her. Assessed. No gratitude. Precise. Inhuman.
Familiar...but uncanny. No bad jokes. No guilt over the collateral. It had been slower, less dodging, more a wall. Just function. Shield, sword, purpose.
And she had worked with it perfectly. Exploited the space it created. Killed what never saw her coming.
No concern, no convalescence, no checking on the other before moving on.
I think we work well together...
âYou fight well,â the Templar Spirit said.
âI had practice.â The thought made her stomach drop in a way that had nothing to do with shapeshifting.
It gestured, and something shifted in the air. Not hostile. Transactional. The Fade rearranged itself around this offeringâa spirit form, crystallizing into accessible knowledge. She felt it settle into her consciousness like a key sliding into a lock she didn't know she had.
Now she could walk through walls until she couldn't anymore. The labyrinth just became negotiable in ways Sloth never intended.
The Templar Spirit, already fading: âThe Essence of Willpower lies ahead. You'll need it.â
It dissolved before she could ask.
She tested her spirit form cautiously. The world went gossamer-thin. Her bodyâor the idea of her bodyâphased through matter like mist through screens. The yellow Fade pressed closer, more intimate, almost curious. She could feel its attention.
The Essence of Willpower appeared, suspended in that particular Fade aestheticâglowing object, no context, take it or don't. She reached through a wall that should be solid and wasn't anymore. The Essence pulsed once as she touched it, then collapsed into her.
Somewhere behind her, she heard darkspawn. Ahead, another corridor branched into identical chambers.
Which mouse hole did I come through?
The Fade had already erased the answer. No landmarks. No trail. But a growing awareness that she fought best with a shield in front of her, now alone again, lacking one. The mouse form waited in the back of her mind, patient and small and humiliating.
She picked a direction that felt less wrong and kept moving.
âDeath,â Wynne said quietly. Her hands moved methodically, straightening a child's collar, smoothing another's hair. Performing last rites through sheer muscle memory.
âCan you not see it?â she continued. âIt's all around us.â
Emma crouched across her, studying the âbodiesâ. Even with Wynne's arrangement, they were wrong. Death without struggle, violence without consequence. They looked instructive.
It was fake, but true. Somewhere in Kinloch Hold, children had died like this.
Not exactly like this, but close enough to sting.
âYou're in the Fade,â Emma said, standing. âThis is a dream.â
Wynne's hands stilled. She did not look up.
âYour disregard for the souls of the dead strikes me as profoundly inappropriate.â
There it was. The reflex. Offense, deployed as discipline. Structure imposed as a should that went unsaid.
âYou taught half the Circle about the Fade,â Emma said. âWhy are you pretending not to recognize it now?â
Wynne rose sharply to her feet. âI beg your pardon? Where were you when this happened? I trusted you. You were nowhere to be found.â
âI was removed by force,â Emma reminded her. âIâm here now. In the Fade. With you. We need to go.â
âThe FadeâŠâ Wynne faltered. She looked around the sickly-yellow facsimile of the tower balcony, its proportions slightly incorrect, a copy without depth. âI have always had an affinity for it. I should recognize this.â
âShould doesnât apply here.â Emma pressed her fingers to her temple, irritated by the rebound of her unsaid words.
âSomething is interfering,â Wynne said.
âYes,â Emma said. âThatâs the point.â
Wynne drew a careful breath. âPerhaps distance will help. A change of perspective.â
She turned.
The âbodiesâ moved. Gently.
Not with jerky, abominable animation. They simply... stirred, the way children do when they're pretending to wake, after pretending to sleep. Or when they believe they're about to be called on. They sat up in their neat rows, faces turned toward Wynne.
âDon't leave us,â they whispered in unison. âYou're not finished.â
âHoly Maker!â Wynne staggered back, staff snapping up. âStay away, foul creatures!â
But she hesitated.
âYou didn't answer,â said one.
âYou said later,â said the next.
âYou told us we'd understand. That we'd be grateful.â
Another tilted its head. âWas it something we missed?â
The voices overlapped, eager, breathless, competitive, self-correcting.
âWe should have listenedââ
âBeen betterââ
âWe could have stopped it.â
âIt would have never happened.â
Wynne's staff lowered. Emma watched the way she straightened; Responsibility reshaped itself into terrible, desperate hope. A copy of authority without depth.
âThey're lying,â Emma said quietly.
Wynne turned on her. âYou don't understand. It's simple. If we had onlyââ
âI was one of them,â Emma said. âI learned exactly what you taught.â
Her voice hardened. Authority snapped into place.
âThe Circle rejected the result. That's why I wasn't there.â
The demons leaned in.
âShe refuses responsibilityââ
âShe doesnât understand how much you savedââ
âHow many you protectedââ
âI saved some,â Wynne said hoarsely. âI bought time.â
âYes,â Emma said. No forgiveness. No accusation. âAnd the Circle still burned.â
Something in Wynne broke. âThese are not my students,â she said.
Her magic erupted. Not the careful demonstrations of the classroom, but furious, intent without instruction. Emma braced the shape of Wynneâs spell so it didnât tear itself apart. They dispatched the demons easily, collapsed to ash before they could finish their bleating chorus.
When the light faded, Wynne straightened, smoothing her robes. Returning to propriety diminished by the lean on her staff. Like a crutch.
Emma watched her. In a place built on lies, this uncomfortable truth felt like solid ground.
The cloister garden bloomed, roses opening simultaneously.
Leliana knelt among them, pruning shears in hand. Her working rhythm soothedâcut, gather, cut again. The sun warmed her shoulders through her habit. Somewhere beyond the wall, bells marked the hours with patient certainty.
âThere you are, child.â
The Revered Mother stood at the garden's edge, hands folded, her presence settling over the space like benediction. Leliana rose, brushing dirt from her knees.
âForgive me, Mother. I was finishing the bouquet.â
Its perfume was thick enough to taste.
âOf course you were.â The smile was kind. âYou've always been so dutiful. We have given you succor when you were lost, haven't we? We showed you the way and now you're one of us.â
One of us.
âI am happy here,â Leliana heard herself say. âThis is all I ever wanted.â
And it was. Wasn't it? The garden needed tending. The sisters needed her voice in the choir. The world beyond the walls moved in violence and chaos, but hereâhere was a great path worn into the world, footsteps from a faith of centuries. A path tread by pilgrims holding back the dark.
A voice interrupted Leliana's reflection, sharp and familiar. âYou left. Don't you remember why?â
The Warden stood at the garden gate, solid in magical armor of stone. The same stone as the Tower...what tower? Leliana blinked. The roses wavered.
âI remember...â The words came slowly, pulled from somewhere distant. âThere was a noise. a darkness. a sign.â
A rose. Not this abundance of perfect blooms, but a single flower rising from dead wood, impossibly alive, blooming in the autumn chill.
The Revered Mother's voice gentled. âWe have discussed this... sign of yours. The Maker has already spoken. He won't interfere in affairs of mortality. This 'vision' was likely the work of demons.â
âShe would know,â The Warden said. âAs a demon, herself.â
The accusation should have been shocking, but Leliana felt recognitionâtruth spoken plainly, cutting through the garden's perfumed air. This peace was too perfect. Nothing questioned. Nothing reached.
âThe Maker cares for us,â Leliana insisted. âI believe He misses His wayward children as much as we miss Him.â
The Revered Mother's smile deepened, encompassing even this doubt. âYes, child. And He still speaks to us, in a way. Through traditions that survive individual doubt. Through the continuity of faith, the order that shelters you even now.â
For half a breath, Leliana felt itâthe pull of that logic, its terrible reasonableness. Wasn't order safer than chaos? Wasn't structure better than the void? The garden walls held back so much darkness. To stay would be to accept shelter, to trust in something older and wiser than herself.
But that wasn't what her dream of the one rose had promised.
âMy vision may not be from Him,â Leliana said, voice steadying, âbut it guides me to do what is right. My revered mother knew this. She trusted me to act on my faith... you are not her.â
âYou've come to your senses.â Emma nodded, reaching out, her fingers gesturing: come.
âLet us leave.â Leliana obeyed. âMy head has not yet cleared, but there is something familiar about you... I believe you. I...think I trust you.â
The Revered Mother's expression didn't change, on the surface, but it cracked. Revealing the hollow underneath. âThis is your home, your refuge. Do you truly wish to leave the comfort of this place behind? Stay, and know peace.â
Peace. The word hung in the air, beautiful and terrible. Peace was what she'd always wanted, wasn't it? An end to running.
But peace wasn't the same as quiet. And the Maker's peaceâthe true peace, the one that moved in her chest when she sangâwas animated. Even loud, when called for.
âThere is no need,â Leliana said. âI carry the peace of the Chantry in my heart.â
The demon's face twisted, composure fracturing, scattering to ash. âYou are going nowhere, girl. I will not permit it. She's ours, now and forever.â
âIf this were my home,â Leliana said quietly, âI would not need your permission to leave.â
Emma moved forward, staff rising. âWe're going.â
The garden collapsed inward, roses withering to ash, walls crumbling to reveal the Fade's sick-green expanse beyond. The Revered Mother's form stretched and twisted, becoming something vast and patient and utterly inhumanâa thing that had worn kindness like ill-fitting clothes.
They fought. Emma's magic tore through the illusion; Leliana's arrows found gaps in the demon's defenses, guided by the wisdom in her arms and shoulders, memories older than doubt.
When it fell, the silence that followed was differentânot the suffocating quiet of the garden, but the living silence of possibility, of breath held before movement.
âMaker preserve us,â Leliana whispered. âShe... she was aââ
âA demon, yes.â
Leliana pressed her palm to her forehead, feeling the weight lift by degrees. âMy head feels heavy, like I've just woken from a terrible nightmare.â
She looked at Emmaâ the careful distance, steely confidence and quiet persistence. Her stance was similar to one holding a door open.
They left the false garden behind. Some silences, after all, needed no filling.
Emma followed the Desire demon's trailâa cloying scent like overripe fruitâthrough passages that bent wrong, walls that breathed. But this new space felt... exceedingly comfortable.
Wheat taller than she rose on every side, from every angle. Everything in itself golden and swaying, without horizon, only the dry whisper of grain, starchy stalks scratching her skin and tangling in her hair.
These fields rippled with, endless gold, disorienting, bending...
A childâs laughter drifted through. She followed the sound until the wheat parted like a curtain.
She now stood before a cottage: serene, whitewashed timber, climbing ivy, nestled in bushes of roses, so starkly red.
Smoke billowed from its chimney, smelling of hearthfire and fresh bread. Pleasant, domestic banality. Syrup of a metaphorical type.
And on the steps, sleeves rolled to his elbows, hair bright as new copper in the impossible sunlightâAlistair. Unarmored, in a simple tunic, homespun. He looked different, younger. Softer.
When he saw her, his face lit up. He stood immediately, gesturing for her attention. Her breath caught; Her stone armor dissolved.
She could barely look back at him, squinting. It was painful behind her eyes, like staring into the sun.
âHey, Emma! I was just thinking about you. You made it.â
The dream folded her into the scene. She'd been expected.
âThis is my sister, Goldanna,â he continued. âThese are her children, and there's more about somewhere. We're one big happy family, at long last!â
Hearing him, speaking so calmly, content without irony. It induced a vertigo in her.
Beyond the doorway, golden light spilled across weathered floorboards. The smell of bread baking. A woman's voice, warm and instructive, correcting a child's posture at the table.
She looked at the womanâsomeone he'd never known, and yet his âsisterâ was a strong construction; Desire had no trouble reading the lack in him.
Alistair reached for Emma, easily, his hand on her back. She felt herself being led to a chair at the table. He sat next to her. Affection radiated from him.
The children giggled. One tugged at his sleeve, demanding a story. He obliged without hesitation, his voice taking on a sing-song qualityâtheatrical, performative, utterly unlike him.
She watched Goldanna slip behind him, hands tightening on his shoulders. Possessive. Anchoring. The fake sister smiled down at him.
âWell, Alistair, is your friend staying for supper?â
âSay you'll stay,â Alistair urged, leaning forward.
âGoldanna's a great cook. Maybe she'll make you her mince pie. You can, can't you?â
âOf course, dear brother.â
She could stay. Let him have this. Let the dream keep him warm and fed and loved until Sloth consumed them both so gently they'd never know.
The tea was already being poured. The exhaustion in her bones ached for this. And something else. To let the moment stretch into hours, days, forever.
âIt's not real,â Emma said.
âWhat? No, just lookâThis is... I mean, I know it seems sudden, butââ
âThey're demons,â she insisted, but he laughed.
âYes, everyone says that about their family,â He shook his head. âYou don't understand. You've never had this.â
âNo, and neither have you.â
âI⊠donât think Iâll be going.â He was gentle, apologetic. âI donât want to spend my life fighting, only to end up dead in a pit.â
âI don't want that for you either,â She was still squinting, vision blurring beyond comprehension.
âRight?â He thought she was agreeing with him. The children's laughter looped in the background, perfectly timed, perfectly wrong. âNot when I could have this. Isn't that what we fought for? So people can have lives?â
People. He didn't know this word was already edging her out.
Emma reached for somethingâanythingâfor leverage. The Fade pressed against her thoughts, numbing the edges, making it hard to think.
She said: âThink about this. How you got here. Think carefully.â
âAll right, if it makes you happy.â Alistair's brow furrowed.
The light in the room flickered; The walls of the cottage were melting around the edges.
Then he continued: âMaybeâmaybe we deserve a life too, you know?â and smiled, a bit more himself, trying to reassure her. The wood of the chair was so warm. Waiting. âAfter everything.â
âDeserving has nothing to do with it.â
She sounded harsh. He dimmed, the stalks of wheat outside shivered in response. They bent toward the cottage like spectators leaning in.
âI meantââ but Alistair interrupted her.
âNo, it's all right.â He shied away, shoulders tightening. âYou said it yourself, many times. We're probably going to die. The Blight's going to kill us, or Loghain, orââ
He turned to look at her, bitter. He was remembering.
âBut here, I could just be someone. Not a Grey Warden. Not a bastard. I could just be... some guy who lives with his sister.â
âYou won't be anything. You can't stay.â Emma's voice was steady now, cutting through the dream's warmth. âYou'll die here, too.â
âDoes it matter?â
Emma could feel Desire calculating. Recalibrating. It was negotiating, waiting for this exact moment. Whispering to her.
You want him awake. So you can use him.
Emma pushed through the distance he'd opened, and leaned against him. Shoulder to shoulder.
She had come for him lastâfought for the others firstâbecause she'd felt him pulling her across the Fade, ensuring everyone else was safe before he'd let her reach him. She was certain of it.
âYou're scared,â he said, surprised. His arm went around her. So strange, how simple it was, in the Fade. âOf dying?â
And now she would deny him this peace he'd never had, this family he'd never known, this life that would kill him so gently he'd thank it for the privilege.
âOf leaving you behind.â
He sighed. He was faltering.
âI'd miss you,â she continued. âIf you stayed here. I don'tâI can't leave without you.â
âMaybe don't leave,â he suggested hoarsely, his arm tightening around her. âSomeone else couldâWhy not? You could stay with us. With me. We could just... one real supper, just for once. There's nothing wrong with that. They don't need us.â
She went through all of this, already. While he persuaded her. She just had to remind him.
âThere's no one else. Not after Ostagar. Just us. Remember?â
He frowned. The cottage dimmed.
âThat's...Fuzzy. Strange.â
The sky choked out with smoke, her fingers finding him in the dark. Arrows striking his shield, her blood on his gauntlets. The jump.
She had trusted him then, when she had good reason not to.
He owed her this.
Emma hugged him. He clutched back instinctively, speechless, the ease he'd had fading.
âIâm glad it was you,â she said into his shoulder. âIâm glad I survived with you.â
âEmââ
He couldn't finish. He pulled back, wide-eyed and gutted, scanning the room as if seeing it for the first time. The cottage groaned, beams flexing.
Goldannaâs voice rose behind them, sharp now, over-bright. âWash up before supperââ
âSomethingâs wrong,â he said. âThisâthis isnât right. I remember a... tower. The Circle. It was under attack.â
âThat's when we got trapped in the Fade,â Emma confirmed.
âGoldanna?â Alistair's voice cracked. âHow did I not see this earlier?â
The dream shuddered. The walls bent inward, protesting. The demons portraying Goldanna and the children closed in on them.
He stood slowly, pulling her up with him: âuh, well. Try not to tell everyone how easily fooled I was...â
The children's hands slipped from his clothes.
The smell of bread soured, yeast rotting in the air. Outside, the wheat blackened from the tips down, stalks collapsing into ash without flame. Laughter looped, then fractured into something wet and shrill.
They ran.
âDon't look back,â she told him, terrified he'd change his mind.
Behind them, the dream collapsed, revealing a dark path.
âWhat's happening?â he asked.
Her grip on his hand tightened. âJust move. Follow me. Don't stop.â
Sloth's influence crept up her arm, cold and insulating, trying to sever their connection. Her grip on Alistair loosened despite her will.
The demon's voice rose, screaming from somewhere internal.
You'll drop him. You'll leave him. It's not too late to turn back.
Behind her, she heard him stumble. She could hear him fighting, swearing, breath ragged. Something grabbed him and he tore free, step by step, choosing her back over the warmth clawing at him.
Her vision tunneled, every instinct screaming at her to turn. The darkness of the dream itself dissolved, sliding away like water.
Emma hoped dimly she felt him near her still, if it was not another illusion.
Perception constricted until she felt nothing, no one.
Thenâ She was awake.
On her back, looking up into the spandrels of Kinloch hold, spattered in demonic viscera. The details were already escapingâwheat and water, syrup and ash.
Alistair.
And fearâ had she lost him?
But his arms locked around her immediately. Alistair hauled her against his chest, encased in metal, cold and hard. The worst, and the best, hug.
âYou're here...â
âI'm here.â He pulled back just enough to look at her, gauntlets gripping her shoulders. âI'm here, Emma. I was right behind you.â
She just nodded, dazed. Details were escaping him, tooâ he wasn't entirely sure what he was saying. But whatever it was, of course he had followed her. He could not imagine ever doing otherwise.
Memories were gone, but emotions still lingered. How he had pitied her so deeply it ached. And now, too aware of that for comfort.
He stood, offering Emma a hand up, but she stayed grounded for a moment, shifting to observe Leliana stirring awake from her own dream, before accepting.
âWell, huh...â Alistair started, his voice unsteady as he surveyed the carnage. âThere's nothing quite like a stroll through everyone's nightmares, on a dreary Tuesday afternoon.â
She paced around, checking on everyone. They'd all come backâ except for Niall. Emma knelt next to him, tapping her staff gently to the stone, channeling a mild energy to kill what little was left mimicking life. Then, from his cold hands, she took the scroll he died for.
âWe still have Uldred to deal with,â Emma rose, tucking the Litany of Andralla into her belt's satchel.
âThat's the spirit,â Alistair dutifully adjusted the straps on everything that had shifted out of place in his sleep.
âYes, indeed. He'll be an abomination, by now,â said Wynne, as if they didn't already know.
The only Templar survivor we'd found so far. Lucky us.
His plate was dented. Blood everywhereâhis? Someone else's? Did it matter? His eyes had that thousand-yard stare I'd seen on veterans who'd witnessed things they couldn't unsee. He was muttering prayers or curses or maybe a shopping list, for all I knew. His hands were raw from clawing at the barrier.
Emma stopped walking. Her conjured armor made that grinding sound. It meant she was thinking. Or calculating. Or possibly planning something unpleasant.
âCullen,â she said.
Oh. Oh no.
I'd overheard that name recently. I didn't understand the context, but it wasn't a casual conversation. It meant something. Something bad.
He didn't look like much now. Hard to imagine this wreck as anyone's villain. But then again, I'd been raised in a Chantry. I knew how quickly devoted men became monsters.
âThis trick again?â Cullen's voice cracked. âI know what you are. It won't work. I will stay strong.â
Wynne stepped forward, doing her wise-grandmother thing. âThe boy is exhausted. Rest easyâhelp is here.â
Boy. Right. He was probably my age. Maybe younger. Hard to tell under all the trauma and grime.
Could've been me, kneeling there. Would've been, probably, if Duncan hadn't yanked me out of the monastery. Just another broken Templar who'd done terrible things because someone told him to.
âEnough visions.â He lurched upright. âIf anything in you is human, kill me now and end this game.â
I felt Emma's magic spike. Not a gentle riseâa surge. The kind that made my Templar senses scream warnings even though I'd never actually finished my training. The kind that said someone's about to do something violent and permanent.
I didn't flinch. Much.
Leliana moved closer, waterskin ready. âHe's delirious. Hereââ
âDon't touch me!â Cullen hit the barrier so hard I worried he'd knock himself out. âStay away! Sifting through my thoughts, tempting me with the one thing I always wanted but could never have... Using my shame against me, my ill-advised infatuation with herâa mage, of all things.â
The silence that followed could've cut glass.
Nobody moved. Nobody breathed. Even the barrier seemed to quiet down, like it was trying to hear better.
Oh, this is not just bad. It's very bad.
I'd suspected. Of course I'd suspected. Emma didn't get angry easily. But suspecting and knowing were different things entirely.
âI am so tired,â Cullen whispered. âAll these cruel jokes. These tricks. Theseââ
âWhich mage, Cullen?â Emma's voice could've frozen the Fade itself.
I'd never heard her sound like that. This was different. This was personal.
âEnough,â Cullen snapped. âI won't listen. Begone.â Eyes squeezed shut. Opened again. Emma still there. âMaker help me.â
His focus finally sharpened. Recognition dawned. âYou,â he breathed. âYou're real.â
âI'm real.â One step closer. I'd seen her stalk our enemies across battlefields with less intensity. âAnswer the question. Which mage?â
He stared at her like she'd materialized from his nightmares.
She probably had.
âI... She...â
âSay her name.â
âNoâI can't. They made me watch. Over and over. She kept telling me to... to surrender. To trust her. I knew it wasn't real. I knew.â His hands shook. âBut sometimes I forgot. Sometimes Iââ
âDo you even remember her?â Emma asked.
That did it. His head snapped up. âI remember exactly.â
Emma nodded once. That blade-sharp attention of hers, focused completely. âThen say her name.â
He didn't.
âAreli.â Emma said it for him. ââmay that Maker-of-yours damn you!â she was Areli Surana. What happened during her Harrowing?â
Areli.
I tried not to think about how Emma had said it.
âI was... I was doing my duty. Following orders. She wasâthe demon wasââ
âShe passed every test before that night,â Emma said quietly. Too quietly. âEvery single one. Everyone said so. She was the best student in Wynne's cohort.â
âThen why did she fail?â Cullen's question sounded like a demand. Like an accusation. âWhy did the demonââ
âYou tell me.â Ice. Pure ice. âYou were there.â
I stepped up to her. Close enough that she'd know I was there without having to look.
Cullen's face twisted. âI had no choice. The demon was alreadyâshe was alreadyâI couldn'tââ Breathing hard now. âThere was nothing I could do.â
âSo you killed her.â
âI saved everyone else! I protected her from herself!â
The load-bearing lie. I'd heard every variation. I had no choice. It was necessary. The Maker's will. All the excuses people made when they did something horrible and needed to sleep at night.
I'd probably have said the same thing. Would've believed it, too. That's what I'd been trained to do. Thank the Maker someone here had better instincts than me. I'd left the Chantry to escape that kind of thinking.
Turned out I hadn't escaped far enough. It was still there, lurking in the back of my head, ready to surface whenever things got bad enough.
âIf I hadn't acted, if I'd hesitated even a second longer, it would have torn through the entire tower. You don't understand what I saw. What it made herââ
âI understand,â Emma cut him off, âthat you want me to believe you had no choice. But it didn't get there by itself, did it?â
Wynne touched Emma's arm. âEmma. He's been throughââ
âPoor Cullen.â Emma didn't look away from the prisoner. âKneeling now. But he was upright when Uldred took this Tower. He was armed when Areli was trapped.â
She paused. Let that sink in. âThe demons and blood mages kept him alive. On purpose. Why?â
Cullen made a sound like he'd been gut-punched.
I understood the implication. We all did. They'd kept him alive using his guilt, his memories, hisâ
His feelings for her.
Maker's breath.
âStopââ
âDid she beg you to stop?â Emma's voice was surgical now. Precise. Cutting. âDoes some part of you believe you loved her?â
âStop!!â He pounded on the barrier. I was ready to grab her if he somehow got through. Not that I thought he could. But better safe than disemboweled.
âDid you even wait to see if she could fight it off?â Emma continued, relentless.
âYou weren't there! You don't know what it's like to watch someone youâto see them becomeââ Gasping now. Hands pressed to temples. âI see her every time I close my eyes. I see what she became.â
âWhat they made her become.â Emma's correction was quiet. Devastating. âWhat it, and you made her...â
There was something else she wanted to say. I could see it in the line of her shoulders. The way her hand tightened on her staff.
I didn't know what the words were, but I knew what they meant. Betrayal.
Cullen collapsed back to his knees. âWhy did you come back?â Hollow. Empty. âHow did you survive?â
âThis is my home,â Emma said. The words sounded dry. Brittle. âOr it was.â
âAs it was mine. Look...look what they've done to it. They deserve to die. Uldred most of all.â
Finally, something we could agree on. Though I suspected our reasons differed.
âWhere are Irving and the other mages?â Wynne asked, trying to steer this conversation somewhere less personal.
âThe Harrowing chamber. But you can't save them. You don't know what they've become.â
âAnd you do?â Emma asked.
âThey've been surrounded by blood magesââ His eyes were feverish now. The look of a man who'd stared into the abyss. âTheir wicked fingers snake into your mind, corrupt your thoughts. You can't tell who's been turned. Who's still human.â He looked directly at Emma. âYou have to end it. Now. Before it's too late.â
âEnd what, exactly?â
I had a bad feeling about where this was going.
A familiar bad feeling.
âAll of it.â He said it simply. Like suggesting we check the weather. âTo ensure this horror ends, to guarantee that no abominations or blood mages surviveâyou must kill everyone up there.â
Behind me, Leliana inhaled sharply.
Everyone.
I'd said the same thing. Hours, maybe a day ago. When we'd first arrived and seen the carnage. When I'd thought there was no way anyone could've survived this. When the cautious part of my brainâthe part trained by Templarsâhad calculated the risk and suggested we just... end it.
Lock the doors. Burn it down. Make sure nothing escaped.
Emma had looked at me then like I'd grown a second head.
I miscalculated. There were survivors. People who'd fought. People who'd resisted. People worth saving.
I would have made the same choice Cullen was advocating now, without ever knowing.
But Emma knew better. She knew the some of the mages would fight and hold.
âEveryone,â Emma repeated. âEven the ones who fought Uldred. Even the ones who resisted.â
âYou can't tell maleficarum by sight.â Cullen's voice gained strength. Certainty. The voice of a fanatic who'd found his cause again. âJust one could influence the mind of a king, a grand cleric. The risk is too great. If you care about Fereldenâif you care about anyone outside these wallsâyou'll do what's necessary.â
Necessary.
That word again. The word that justified everything.
I stood next to her. Close enough that my mail almost brushed her shoulder. Close enough to feel the gritty chill radiating off her stone armor.
âIf he wants us to kill survivors,â I said quietly to Emma, praying she caught the apology in my wordsââwe're not doing that.â
Cullen's head snapped toward me. âYou don't understand. You weren't here. You didn't seeâShe's one of themââ
One of them. Right. I should understand.
And the worst part? He was right. I did understand.
âI know exactly what you saw.â I paused. Chose my next words carefully. âThe memory of your friends' deaths is still fresh in your mind. You're not thinking straight.â
Cullen stared at me like I'd betrayed him. âYou... you would trust her?â Gesturing at Emma like she was the demon here. âShe let Jowan walk.â
Yes. I'd been there for that horrible follow-up conversation.
âWe know. And she's about to save whatever mages are still alive up there.â
Cullen's mouth fell open. Shocked. âYou're making a mistake.â
âIt's worth a shot,â I said.
âWe've come out better for our mistakes, so far,â Leliana added. Optimistic as always. I appreciated it even if I didn't quite believe it.
Emma wasn't paying attention to us. She was still looking at Cullen. Her hand drifted toward her staff.
Everyone saw it. Everyone understood what it meant.
She turned to Wynne. âCan you drop the barrier?â
Wynne didn't answer. But she was ready. Ready for whatever Emma was about to do. I wasn't entirely sure what she was planning. But I was fairly certain it involved violence.
Emma's fingers closed around her staff. The bubble hummed louder.
Cullen didn't move. Just watched her with those wide, hopeful eyes.
Like he wanted her to do it.
Like it would prove him right.
âWe need him alive,â Wynne said carefully. âIf we kill his last man, Greagoir won't hear us.â
âI know.â Emma's voice was too steady. The kind of steady that meant she was holding herself in check by pure force of will. âWhen this is over, your boss will want to know why the malificar kept you. You'll tell him we saved lives, and the Chantry men who wanted to slaughter everyone were wrong.â
âAnd if I don't?â
There was a threat in that question.
Emma didn't answer directly. Didn't need to.
âYou will. Because you'll need them to believe you had no choiceâagain.â
Brutal.
She walked past the bubble without looking back. I followed immediately because that's what I do. Follow Emma into terrible situations and hope we both walk out the other side.
Leliana prayed with Cullen softly, before trailing after us.
âIt's just cruel,â Wynne sighed.
It was. But it was also... I didn't know. Emma had a way of making things complicated. And thank the Maker for that.
As we climbed toward the Harrowing chamber, I opened my visor. Trying to get a better read on her. Trying to figure out what she was feeling. Trying to understand what had just happened back there.
Failing at all three.
âAre you okay?â I asked.
Stupid question. Of course she wasn't okay. Nobody who'd just confronted their... friend's killer was okay. But I had to ask anyway. That's what I'm here for. Asking stupid questions.
âNo,â Emma said.
She didn't slow down. Didn't look at me. Just kept climbing.
But she answered. That had to count for something.
Leliana's arrows punctuated Emma shaprly, flying past her ear. Wynne's wards burst open in domes of light, buying them precious seconds. But the spirits of rage kept coming, their warped bodies shrieking, and Emma knew: if Uldred didn't fall soon, they'd be overwhelmed. For every spirit they ended, more encroached.
Uldred's abomination led the assault, its distended mouth spitting gouts of flame. It needed to end her litany. But the chamber's architecture had become her weaponâEmma had positioned herself on the raised dais, using the stone platform's height. Between her and the abomination, a seething mass of thralls formed a living barrier, puppeted through the fade.
Uldred, always the most resourceful, had also an assault of insult bouncing around the chamber from the abomination's multi-throated roar:
âAh, little Emma. Irving's stray pet. I never took much notice of you.â She ignored him.
âYou blended in so nicelyâobedient, quiet, unremarkable.â Uldred laughed, dripping with contempt.
âand Jowan,â he mused, conversational despite the carnage. âThe fool. He really thought you could help him, before I broke him.â
Emma's hands tightened on her staff. She could see Jowan's terrified, bloody face in her mind, betraying herâ
Alistair's blade cleaved through the fray, a negating edge that split magic missiles into harmless sparks, and dulled Emma's own wild arcs before they could sear him. He was fighting both sides of the battle, carving toward her, desperate to close the distance.
âHe was a terrible student. Don't blame yourself. But he did bleed beautifully.â
The abomination had learned. Every time Alistair gained ground, it would release a pulse of telekinetic force that sent furniture, bodies, and debris sliding across the blood-slick floor. He had to keep his shield raised just to avoid being brained by flying masonry. The distance between them might as well have been miles. He couldn't dispel and advance simultaneously, not against this many.
âNot like your other friendâthe one with all the fire. Areli, was it?â
Emma's voice cracked mid-word.
Uldred himself flickered through the chaos, his semi-corporeal form phasing through fallen pillars, splintered benches. He would reach Emma easily enough through the Fade, but the Litany was her own disruption, forcing him to manifest physically to attack.
And manifesting meant vulnerability to Leliana's arrows, which had already forced him back twice. He circled like a predator, waiting for her concentration to slip.
Hold on, Iâm almost there, he thought, breath rasping inside his helm. Every step forward felt like dragging an anchor through a lightning storm.
âSo precious. Such passion. Such naivetĂ©. And you handed her over yourself.â
Emma's spell lashed out, wild and burning. Uldred's laughter swelled. Alistair vaulted over some twisted brass equipment, carved through another shrieking demon, his blade ringing, sliding forward through the blood.
âSuch noble intentions. But you and Irving both- I will enjoy watching you die.â
Emma kept chanting, kept hurling power, felt it building inside her like a stormâ
The abomination's limbs thrashed, grotesquely elongated. Alistair ducked a whiplike arm, slammed the shield upward to jam it, twisted under and carved through the joint in one ugly stroke. The limb fell, thrashing.
âDid you really believe he recognized your power? No. You were convenient. Disposable. A pet they hold by the ears, afraid you'll bite.â
Uldred's latest insult, she thought, the one meant to be the killing blowâto her prideâ was miscalculated. Lightning crackled from her fingertips, uncontrolled, beautiful, vicious.
There was a horrible, bloody charge in the air. Alistair couldn't route it. He shouted a warning, but Emma didn't hear. She dealt the abomination a mighty blow, delivering the spell disguised as chant with a vengance. Thralls fell limp. Spirits dissolved into air.
Alistair's blade finally found its mark. Steel cleaved through the abomination's center mass with a sickening crunch.
For one heartbeat, Emma thought they'd won.
Then Uldred lurched forward, the remaining arm lashing out with impossible speed, whipping her, tossing her back with a sound like kindling snapping. The Litany tumbled from her hand.
The hungry abomination was already looming over her broken body, moving with supernatural speed. His form flickeredâhalf-man, half-demon, all blighted, wholly wrong. His hand plunged into her chest. Into her, robes sizzling around its wrist.
Emma's screamed as her own blood eagerly rose to meet him, leaving her in hot, pulsing streamsâfelt Uldred drawing on it like a well, felt herself becoming the conduit for something vast and hungry. She slumped, and dared not look up.
âBlood answers blood,â Uldred whispered, almost tender. âYours is strong. I can use that.â
Power surged through him, fed by her life. The chamber filled with crimson light. Emma thought to move, to speak, to castâbut she realized: struggling would only give him more power. Stillness was her only option. She cooled as he drained her. Her vision narrowed to a pinpoint.
âYou'll lose control. But perhaps that's what you want. You could let me in. We could finish what Irving startedâtogether.â
Alistair: âNope.â
He didn't hesitate. Templar training took overâ skills he'd hoped never to use. He slashed through the fade, cutting a void into the space between Emma and Uldred, severing that bloody thread of stolen power.
Emma felt that void slide through her: cold, absolute, merciless. The deathly and sudden absence of magic; Her body bloodless, unable to heal. Her heart stuttered, and stopped.
Uldred shrieked, his form destabilizing. Alistair pressed his advantage, blade draining Uldred of everything it had. With his shield, he crushed the abomination's skullâ still human-shaped, until he shattered it. The monster collapsed.
Emma's chest lay open and still, blood pooling. Not pulsing.
âNoââ Alistair dropped everything, greaves scraping stone, knees displacing the growing pools, blade and shield clattering uselessly besides.
âYou foolâshe was the abomination's conduit!â Morrigan was livid.
âCome on, Emââ His hands shook, he spread them over her, trying to keep in there whatever she had left.
Morrigan batted him away, sinking green vapor into her. Flesh repaired, but still cold.
âYou severed her life, you imbecile!â
âI KNOWâ! please, Wynne!â His shouting cracked through the air as her lightning had been, just seconds ago. âWYNNE!â
The old mage was already moving, shoving past, briskly articulate. âThe BOTH of you, get OUT of my way.â Golden light flared between her palms, pouring into Emma's still form. Alistair shifted back, exchanging glances with Morrigan, seething at him. She turned away.
It's up to Wynne now.
Alistair grabbed her limp hand from the stone, bent his head over Emma's knuckles, coldness absorbing his own living warmth in vain. He prayed, in silence. The seconds stretched like hours. Then, a gentle breath, hardly audible. Barely, but alive. Her fingers twitched in his grip. Color crept into her grey face.
âWynneââ His voice broke. âMaker, I owe youââ
The healer shushed him. He watched, the relief snapped from him. Morrigan muttered something about templar stupidity, pacing. But then, Emma convulsed, head rolling. He looked to Wynne, who nodded and sat back, professional despite the tremor in her hands.
âEm?â Her clammy hand returned the squeeze he'd held for her. His relief rebounded. âHey... we won. And you scared the life out of me.â
âYour Warden needs rest. Hours of it. Preferably a full day,â said Wynne.
Alistair nodded, and thought, whatever it takes. But what he said was: âHours? But... we donât have hours.â
Her eyes opened, unfocused but aware.
âThen youâll have to make them,â
Oh, sure. But he was quiet. Wynne's tone brooked no argument.
âRedcliffe needs us to hurry,â Emma echoed him.
âYouâre not going anywhere,â he snapped, but she agreed far too quickly. With a sinking feeling, he realized he'd overcommitted.
âYou, go ahead. Take...take them. I'll stay.â
Alistair shook his head, âAbsolutely not, we donât split up the party. Not afterââ Her eyes flickered briefly to the surviving mages and Templars who would be accompanying them.
He looked back to her, with resignation.
âI canât leave you here.â His mouth had not quite caught up with that resignation...
âThere was a moment, I thought⊠well. I thought IâI thought it would be like...what nearly happened already. Emma, I'm so sorry, I...â
...but it was getting there. While he rambled, Emma fumbled at her belt. He let go of her hand, to help her open the pouch. She pushed a small vial, wax seal unbroken, out of the leather.
He redoubled his bow over her. The movement drew them close, into a pocket of privacy, or so he hoped. He looked back to Wynne, to Leliana, speaking amongst themselvesâhad they seen? and his pulse hammered at his throat as she pressed the forbidden item into his palm. His fingers closed around it, instantly.
âWhatâMaker Emma, do you even knowâ?â he whispered. Idiot, of course she knew. Heâd just insulted the most deliberate, dangerous gift she could make.
âCan you use it?â For once, words failed him. He nodded.
âGood. If I don't make it... find me.â
The phylactery felt heavy in his palm. After everything. She still trusted him. Her life, literally in his hands.
âRight. I'll try not to drop this.â
Alistair memorized the way she was looking back at him, as he tucked it carefully against his chest, into the pocket already sewed inside his tunic. Next to his mother's amulet she'd found for him, in Redcliffe. Where he'd now be going, without her. He dreaded how much he would miss her.
âWe'll move fast,â he promised. âAnd you'll catch up.â
âI will.â
He forced himself to step back. To trust Morrigan, and their contingency he'd just been given, to protect her... if anything else went wrong.
As he gathered his weapons and shield, Emma called him back. He turned.
âYou did the right thing,â she said.
âI-I did?â She nodded. He had to look away. âWhen I smashed through that thing, and I realizedâif Wynne hadn't been thereââ
âI know,â she cut him off. âBetter than becoming a thrall. Thank you.â
He wasn't sure if he could have lived with either end. He looked down at his handsâstill shaking, still slick with blood on his gauntlets. Her blood, also inside the vial, warming against his own heart.
âDon't thank me. Not for that. Save your thanks for Wynne.â And then he took another good look at Emma. Just one last time, before he left her.
She was weak, after everything, and could hardly sit up, so he understood why Wynne insisted she could not move. Alistair caught her with a grunt that would've been embarrassing if she hadn't been distracted by much bigger problems.
âRight,â he muttered, adjusting his grip. âThis is happening.â
Carrying someone down a spiral staircase while wearing full plate armor is an experience exactly no one should have. The metal shrieked at every movement. His pauldrons scraped stone. Emma's head lolled against his chest plate with each step.
Clank. Clank. Clank.
âYou know,â he said, mostly to fill the horrifying acoustics, âI'm starting to agree with Irving, these towers are a bad idea. Who builds these things? Sadists?â
Emma made a noise that might've been agreement or might've been pain. Hard to tell. Her eyes cracked open, unfocused.
âYou're... loud.â
âI'm loud? I'm wearing the loudest outfit in Thedas. This is a walking bell tower. This isââ He paused mid-rant, adjusting his grip as they rounded another turn.
The stairwell seemed to go on forever. His arms burned. His back screamed. Emma was small, but armor plus injured mage plus approximately four hundred spiral steps added up to a very specific kind of misery.
âYou know,â he said, because his mouth apparently couldn't stay shut, âthe last time I carried you, we were jumping out a window. This is somehow worse.â
Her fingers caught on his mail, hooking there, trying to remember the last time he held her against his plate.
âAt Ishal,â she said slowly. âYou grabbed me.â
His begging her to make a decision that should've killed them both. The darkspawn pouring in. Emma turning to face them.
Without Flemeth, it certainly would have killed them.
But he was correct.
âAt least that was quick. This is justââ Clank. Clank. ââendless suffering. With acoustics.â
A sound that might've been a laugh fogged against his breastplate. He'd take it.
Then she said: âThat's when I knew.â
âKnew what?â
âYou'd keep doing stupid things. And I'd have to keep you alive.â
He laughed despite himself.
They were halfway downâhe hoped they were halfway, Maker let them be halfwayâwhen they took a break on the landing. He sat her down against the wall. Sat next to her. Probably the worst time and place for it, but he had to say something before he left her in this tower.
âI know it might sound strange...â He paused. Started again. âWe haven't known each other very long. But I've come to care for you. A great deal.â
The armor still clanked. He tried not to move too much.
âI think it's because we've gone through so much together. Or maybe I'm imagining it. Maybe I'mââ He stopped himself. âAm I fooling myself? Or do you think you might ever feel the same way about me?â
Emma blinked at him. She slowly focused on his face like she was working out a complicated problem. The stairwell echoed around them.
âYou're asking,â she said carefully, âif I care about you?â
He nodded. And held his breath.
âOf course.â She sounded tired. Confused. Hoarse. âOf course I care.â
His stomach constricted horribly.
âYouâYou really didn't know?â
âI had to check. I'm wearing eighty pounds of metal and my arms are about to fall off. Give me a break.â
âNow you know. Don't forget it.â
They should go. He really should pick her up and continue this nightmare descent. Instead he leaned inâthen hesitated. She reached up, fingers hooking his gorget, and pulled him down. Pressed her lips to his forehead. Brief. Warm. Deliberate. When she pulled back, he was fairly certain his brain had stopped working.
Now it carried her back to Redcliffe.
The boat rocked gently as it crossed. Emma watched the water with drowsy mistrust. It felt different than when sheâd crossed it weeks ago. Less choppy. More hollow.
Morrigan perched across from her, arms folded, the faintest curve to her mouth suggesting sheâd been waiting for something.
âWarden, if I may: what does it feel like to cross the same lake the Templars used to ferry you to your prison?â
Emma swallowed, suppressing rising nausea.
âYou look as though it offends you greatly,â Morrigan observed.
âIt makes me sick.â Her voice came out thin. Everything felt distant and soft-edged; the lakeâs surface was eerily calm. Water lapped against the hull with slow, patient indifference.
The shoreline emerged from the mist in small, pale shapesâthen the familiar silhouette of Redcliffeâs docks, and a handful of figures waiting on them. One of them pacing.
âHe has been keen since dawn,â Morrigan said. âLike some forlorn hound.â
Even from a distance, Emma recognized restlessness in the way he moved. As the boat drew closer she watched him stop mid-stride, one hand lifting to shade his eyes against the afternoon glare.
The boat bumped the dock with a dull thud. Alistair was already there, steadying the hull before the ferryman even reached for a rope.
âEmma. and Morrigan. Hello. Long time no see,â He greeted them, flippant but strained.
Emma took his offered hand. The dock creaked beneath them; the motion made her stomach curdle. His hand was warm, textured, anchoring. Everything the lake wasnât.
âYou look terrible,â he said.
âThank you. I feel worse.â She swayed. His other hand shot to her elbow.
âAlright, thatâs enough standing. I'm picking you up now.â he said, swiftly shouldering her.
Her stomach lurched as he lifted her off the dock. âOhâ I might get sick on you.â
âIâm not worried.â His voice lightened as she instinctively slipped her arms around his neck. âI've had worse on me. Darkspawn ichor, for instance. Or that time in Lothering whenâ Nevermind.â He stopped abruptly, readjusting his grip as he started up the dock.
âYou took your time,â he murmured.
âConnor?â she asked.
âSafe. The ritual worked. Isolde is⊠letâs call it profoundly grateful. She actually cried... on me. It was deeply uncomfortable. But heâs recovering. He asked about you.â
âYou seemâŠâ He hesitated. âAlive. Mostly.â
Her fingers curled into the strap of his leathers. âIâm alright.â
âYouâre not alright,â he said softly.
âI just need a bit more time,â she said.
Around them, the village hummed with recoveryâhammering, shouted instructions, the thump of crates being moved. Ordinary sounds reclaiming the space after disaster.
âI missed you,â Alistair said at last. âIt was one day. I felt like Iâd lost a limb. Itâs pathetic.â
âI missed you too.â
âMorrigan said you spent the whole time reading. Barely looked up.â
âMorrigan exaggerates. I looked up once. To miss you.â
He groaned, over-dramatically. âYouâre going to be the death of me.â
They entered the Chantryâstill the villageâs makeshift command center. A portion behind the bookcases sat empty now, hollowed of people returned to their homes. Wynne had ensured there was still a cot pushed against one wall.
Alistair lowered her carefully to sit, then crouched until they were eye level. âHow bad is it? Really?â
âBetter. The boat was worse than Uldred.â A jest, but rooted in feeling.
Alistair had been trying very hard not to think about Uldred. He sat back on his heels, something dawning in his expression. His eyes widened.
âWait. Emma, please tell me you can swim.â
He didn't know why this occurred to him; Plenty of people get sick on boats. And yet...
ââŠswim?,â she echoed, barely more than a breath.
Alistair leaned in, tone all brittle cheer. âYes. That thing people do in water. Tell me you can.â
She exhaled, eyes drifting toward the floorboards. âI⊠can't, no.â
âYou can'tâ? Emma, why didnât you ever say anything? You were on a boat this morning.â
âI would've,â she said, apologetic. âIf we had time to do anything about it.â
âWe have time nowâWe will. If I could teach you, even a littleâ Let me take you to the lake, soon, before we leave. We can't keep keep dragging you across Ferelden like this. One day we might not have a boat, or a bridge, orââ
âI know.â Emma gave him a long look, hesitating. She closed her eyes, trying to focus. âBut, that lakeâŠâ
âI'm sorry... I know it couldn't have been easy on you, how the Chantry built the circle out there, using the lake like a moat...â
âJust⊠let me look out for you with this. Alright?â She nodded. He'd offered her a very decent explanation for everything.
Alistair finally eased back only far enough to help her lie down properlyâboots off, blanket drawn up, fingers lingering at the corner to make sure she was settled.
The Chantry buzzed faintly beyond the bookshelves, a world still turning. They both knew the moment of calm wouldnât last. Wynne would come. Teagan would want debriefing. Murdock had plans that needed reviewing. The mages needed coordination. And beyond all that, the next impossible decision waited.
So Emma was stuck. Surrounded by the Chant, incense, and the Revered Motherâs quiet disappointment.
Alistair found her surrounded by books like a dragon on a hoard, except instead of gold it was Genitivi's research notes on Andraste's pilgrimage routes, a technical treatise on Nevarran necromancy practices, and a thesis on Spirit Healing certification requirements.
âYou know,â he said from the makeshift entrance, leaning on a shelf, âmost people use recovery time to, I don't know, recover.â
âWhat kind of spirit magic is legal in Nevarra but not in Ferelden?â she responded.
âWhy would I possibly know that?â
âThere's death-adjacent magic that's legal there.â
âYes, the sandy country full of creepy mausoleums. That suits them.'â
âNot legal here. Theological reasons, other than the obvious. Such as,â she flipped some pages, âit's icky.â
âAnd you're researching this because...?â
âGenitivi's treatise on pre-Chantry burial practices.â She said, quickly.
âAh, multitasking, I see.â
âDid you need something? Are you just hovering?â
âHovering. It's one of my best skills.â He settled into the chair across from her, leathers creaking. âWhat are you actually reading?â
âI'm actually reading Genitivi's fieldwork.â
Alistair eyed the stack nearest her elbow. âReally? You're reading Chantry scholarship? Voluntarily? Because it looks more like you're building a fort.â
âHe's less of a quack than I thought.â
Alistair sat up straighter. âWait. You think it's real?â
âThe documentation is strong.â Emma's eyes were scanning the pages with her particular intensity of a puzzle worth solving. âIt might not be what the Chantry thinks it is. But there's a pattern. Locations with unusual activity. Places where the Fade bleeds through in specific ways.â
âYou don't think it's Andraste's actual ashes.â
âI think there might be a magical artifact that produces effects consistent and exceeding spirit healing.â She shrugged slightly. âAndraste's ashes or no, I won't argue with the results.â
âThat'sâThat's the most you thing I've ever heard.â
Alistair had been talking to Eamon. Well, at Eamon. The man was unconscious, which made him an excellent listener and a terrible conversationalist.
âSo we're chasing the Urn of Sacred Ashes,â he told him, pacing beside the bed.
âI know. It sounds insane. But this Genitivi fellow seems to think it's real. And Emmaâ Emma thinks he's onto something. Which is... I don't know. She's been reading everything he's ever written. Plus about six other books. Simultaneously. While recovering from being gutted by a malificar.â
Eamon's face remained peacefully unconscious.
âShe's brilliant, by the way. Did I mention that? You'd be terrified of her.â He'd paused, suddenly self-conscious. âI'm talking about her a lot, aren't I?â
âRight. Well. There's something else.â Alistair had reached into his collar, pulling out the amulet. The ceramic had been carefully repaired, the broken chain mended with such precision you could barely see the mend. âThis wasâI threw it. Shattered it like an idiot. You remember.â
âDid you fix this? I didn't expectâI mean, you had no reason to. I was just some angry child making your life complicated.â He'd held it up to the light. âIf Emma's right, and we find that Urn, and you wake up... I'd like to talk about this properly. But if notââ
âThanks.â
Alistair managed the courage to ask, the next morning.
âSure. Not here. Later.â It felt very odd. Later. Like there was an appointment scheduled for falling apart and she was running behind.
Wynne disapproved of them leaving, but didn't argue for long. Alistair guessed that meant she'd recovered enough a small journey probably wouldn't kill her.
Connor found her first. The kid appeared in the courtyard, with the exact abruptness of a child getting away with something. He looked like someone who'd spent weeks possessed by a demon should not lookâclean, fed, normal.
âYou're her!â Emma looked at him, launching across the yard. She barely processed this before he was hugging her. âYou saved me!â
Over Connor's head, she looked at Alistair, bewildered. He thought it was adorable. She did not.
âIâyes,â Emma managed. âI did. You're welcome.â
Connor had pulled back, grinning. âMother says you're very brave. And that I should thank you properly. So thank you!â He paused. âAre you really a Grey Warden? Do you fight darkspawn all the time? What's it like? Can I see your staff?â
âYou shouldn't be here, young man,â Wynne said from the doorway, but did nothing.
He didn't let go of Emma entirely, hands still gripping her sleeves. âBut I wanted to meet her! She saved my life! That's important!â
âIt is important,â Alistair agreed, taking pity on Emma. âWhich is why you should probably let her breathe.â
Connor looked up at Emma's face and took a large step back. âSorry. Mother says I'm too enthusiastic sometimes.â
âYou're fine.â Emma's voice was steadier than she felt. âI'm not used to children.â
âThat's okay! I'm not used to Grey Wardens! Did you really fight a whole demon by yourself?â
Quite a few. In a dream space that erased her identity and stretched across time. Emma looked to Alistair again. He gave her an encouraging nod that was spectacularly unhelpful.
âYes,â she said. âWeâit was complicated.â
A harried elven servant caught up to Connor. Emma narrowed her eyes at them.
âCan I visit tomorrow?â
âMaybe,â Emma said.
âYou did good,â said Alistair, as they left.
âI did nothing. I stood there.â
Connor's voice faded away, as he explained to the elven woman all about the Grey Wardens who'd saved him and the Urn they were going to find and how Emma was going to save everyone from the darkspawn even though she was scared of children.
Alistair was grinning at Emma's expression. âHe's not wrong.â
âNo,â Emma agreed, deflated.
âFighting a demon? Sure. Fighting several, why not? Hugging a kid? Very scary, apparently.â
âOnly the Maker knows the deepest fears in the hearts of men,â Emma dryly quoted what the Chanters did not allow her to forget.
The bridge was right where he'd left it. The last time they'd stood here, he'd told her about being a bastard prince, which had gone approximately as well as setting yourself on fire and expecting applause. She'd been furious, simmering with restraint, like watching someone disassemble a trap without touching it.
And then she yelled at him.
Now she was leading him back.
âI need to talk to you,â she said.
She looked exhausted. Apparently, no sleeping was her normal. Recently, she hadn't eaten much, either. But Wynne had talked to her about all of this. What was the point of him nagging her, too? None. He had only one good guess about what to do, now.
âAbout the Tower? I know, uh, Areliââ
âNot about her.â Her voice was flat. âAbout something else.â
That was worse, somehow.
She glanced aroundâvillage walls, sentries, the waterfall recently drowning a distant sound of Teagan arguing with someone about grain supplies. She stepped closer to the edge of the bridge where the water churned loudest against the pilings.
âEmma...â
She reached into her pack and pulled out the scrolls. They looked old, vellum thin as tissue, ink bleeding through in places.
âI found these in Irving's study. In the sealed texts section.â She held them out. âRead them.â
He took them. She watched him very carefully. Like they might detonate.
The text was... he squinted. Turned the scroll. Squinted harder.
âI can'tââ He stopped. Tried again. The letters kept sliding around, refusing to form words. It gave him a dull ache behind an eye. He looked up to her. âWhat is this?â
She turned away, pacing. It felt uncomfortably similar to the day he had confessed his lineage to her. Like he had done something wrong.
âIt's an illusion,â Emma said. Her voice was very calm. Very controlled. The kind of calm that preceded disasters. âA ward. To keep people from reading it unless they... qualify.â
âQualify how?â
She took the scrolls back from him, rolling them carefully, sliding them back into the case.
âIt's a primer. For blood magic.â
âOh,â he said. Then: âYou shouldn't have this. Why are you showing it to me?â
âI... had to be sure. But I can read it. Every word.â
âYou...â He stopped. Started over. âWhen you say 'read it'ââ
âThe actual text. Not the illusion.â She wasn't looking at him anymore. âIt's vetting readers, but... I don't know how. That's the problem.â
âWell,â Alistair ran a hand through his hair. âYou must have a theory,â and it worried her.
âI don't know.â Her voice cracked slightly. âThe scrolls recognize something in me. That and... the amount of damage I am repairing, the speedâthat shouldn't be possible with creation magic.â
âMagic does that though, doesn't it? Manifests under stress?â
âNot at my level. Not withoutââ She stopped.
âWithout what?â
She looked at him for a long moment. The water kept churning.
It should have been her. He now understood she had never wanted to talk about Areli, although she had. Because they were not, at that time, next to a very loud mill wheel.
âDo you think it's possible to use blood without realizing?â
This was a horrifying question. She had often acted like he should know things he did not. Which made sense, as Templars were meant to hunt malificar. But maybe those are secrets you learn after taking vows, which he hadn't.
âI-I don't know. I doubt it. There has to be another explanation.â
âThere is,â she sighed. âNecromancy. Apparently, it is useful to begin with. If you'd like to get into blood magic.â
âThat's... good?â he swallowed.
âExcept I never learned it. It justââ She clenched her fists. âIt just happened. And... I don't really know. Not for sure.â
Alistair thought about every single time Emma had reached out and pulled someone back from the edge of dying, including him, especially him, and how he'd never questioned it because she was just good at it.
He thought about the Joining. About Duncan. About forbidden rituals performed in the dark.
âI'm not trying to be dramatic,â she said. âI'm trying to be careful. I need someone to know. Someone who'll tell me ifââ
âWhat am I looking for, exactly?â
âI don't know yet. That's what's soâIt might be blood magic. Or it might be something that becomes blood magic. It might be necromancy. It might be something else. Maybe I've invented something new. Or something I won't find information on. Probably for a reason.â
âMaybe because it's just icky,â Alistair suggested, hopeful.
âMaybe.â She sat in the middle of the bridge. exhausted. Not from the injuryâfrom this. From carrying this alone. The weight of questions with no good answers.
âI'll watch,â Alistair said. âIf that's what you need, I'll watch.â
Emma, who had been quietly reviewing Genitiviâs notes on Haven and pretending to be engrossed, looked up at him. âNow?â
âYes, please. Before Teagan traps us in another meeting where we argue about the requisitioning of shovels.â
Wynne didnât even look up from reorganizing poultices. âGo,â she said. âBoth of you need air.â
Morrigan smirked as Emma passed. âDo try not to drown, Warden.â
The walk to the waterâs edge took them down the titular cliffs of rocky red clay, past carpenters rebuilding porches and children chasing each other between drying laundry lines. Redcliffe was a village awkwardly getting itself back together. In the quiet between hammers, the lake glinted like nothing had ever happened.
âWeâre not going far,â he said. âJust the shallows. The shallowest part of the shallows, in fact. It's where the castle groundskeeper taught me to swim.â
They reached a stretch of shoreline where reeds clung to the mud and the water lapped in gentle, careless strokes. Alistair kicked off his boots and rolled up his trousers with the casual competence of someone who grew up doing this.
Emma did the same, slowly, like she was preparing for combat and not⊠this.
âRight then,â he said, stepping in so the water reached his shins. âCome stand with me. I won't let you float away, or drown, or anything...â
She did, inch by inch.
He held out his hand. She took it. They waded deeper, until the lake reached her knees.
Emma gasped as the cold bit up her legs, but the real sting was the strange threading of something insistent under her skin. An extra wetness, unreal, leaking from the fade. The drowned magic humming. She swallowed. Alistair squeezed her fingers.
âDoing okay?â he asked.
She gave him that small, honest, miserable half-nod of hers. âItâs⊠loud. Under the surface.â
âLoud? How?â he asked, but she didn't clarify. Couldn't, really.
âWe'll go slow then. No rush. We can pretend the darkspawn will wait. Just⊠breathe, alright? In and out, like you've been doing your whole life.â
Emma nodded, keeping her eyes off the water, on him. He'd never seen her like thisânot without an enemy looming, something to fight. This was different. Worse, maybe.
âSo,â he said. âYou just need to let the water hold you up a little.â
âIt'll swallow me.â
âNo, seeâthis whole village depends on this lake. It supports way more than it swallows. Literally,â he argued.
âThatâs debatable.â
âWell, look. What I mean isâyou're not sinking while you stand here, are you?â
âNo.â
âGood. So now, hands on my arms. Just to balance.â His voice had gentled completely, stripped of any foolishness.
Emma placed her palms lightly on his forearms. He stepped backward so only their fingertips brushed, trying to project confidence and not think about how she was touching him, or how the sun caught in her hair, orâ
âNow lean back. Slow. Donât fight it.â
Emmaâs breath hitched. âAlistairââ
âI'm right here. You're fine. I've got you.â
She let herself tilt, tension bowstring-tight through her body. The lake pressed cool against her back. For a split second she felt the dropâ
Alistair's hand cupped the back of her shoulder immediately. âHey. Stay with me. Just breathe, remember?â
Emma forced air in, tremoring with panic. The water steadied. She blinked up at the sky, not drowning, not falling. Just⊠floating.
After several seconds she whispered, almost betrayed, âItâs holding me.â
âSee? What did I tell you? I'm occasionally right about things. Don't spread that around.â
She let out something between a laugh and a shaky exhale. âI hate this.â
âI know. And you're doing it anyway.â
She closed her eyes against the brightness. âAlistair⊠I need to tell you something.â
He stilled, hand still anchoring her shoulder. âAlright. I'm listening.â
But the water tensed under her.
âLater,â she whispered.
âOkay. Later, then.â No rush. Except for the Blight. And Loghain. And that thing with the Urn. But other than that...
They stayed like thatâEmma terrified of buoyancy, Alistair steady beside her. Slowly, her muscles unclenched.
âThere. That wasn't so bad, was it?â
âIt's terrible.â
âBut you did it.â His grin was genuine, proud even.
âOkay,â she said at last. âEnough.â
He helped her up. Together they waded back, the water falling away from her limbs like it was reluctant to release her. She didnât relax until her feet stopped sinking into the mud.
Emma wrung out her sleeves. Then she gave up and removed the tunic.
He stopped himself from turning away, then resisted the urge to actually look. He stared into the grass, deciding on not changing the direction of where he was looking at all whatsoever. When they reached their discarded clothing, he wrapped his cloak around her.
âThere,â he said, relieved, voice gentler than his grin. âYou faced the lake, and the lake did not, in fact, eat you.â
Her hands trembled once, barely, before she pulled the cloak tightly around her.
âIt tried,â he heard her say.
ââŠIt maybe considered it. Briefly. But I wouldn't let that happen.â
She just stood there, gaze lowered.
He wanted to know what sheâd meant back in the water. That I need to tell you something, then, later. It tied him into an internal knot. Heâd been replaying the tone of it, the hesitation, the way the lake seemed to lean inâMaker, get a grip, man.
âLetâs sit a minute,â he offered.
They dropped onto a patch of sun-warmed grass, clothes clinging, boots abandoned somewhere behind them. For a few moments they just existed, side by side, listening to Redcliffe on the hill above.
Emma tucked her knees up under her chin. Alistair rested his elbows on his thighs, staring out at the water haughtily, as though daring it to look at her wrong.
He also pretended he wasnât dyingâquietly, politelyâwaiting for her to speak.
âAlistair,â she murmured.
He sat up too fast. âYes?â
âAbout before. In the water.â
He tried to keep his expression level. But failed. He had to look away and pretend to adjust his damp sleeve.
âOh. Right. That. When you said you needed to tell me something, and then immediately decided the lake wasnât the right audience,â he said, and it came out very normal.
She looked up, a bit apologetic, a bit fragile, but with a smileâ thin but realâmade something in him unravel. She could see right through him. Of course she could.
âAnd Iâd like to know what it was. If you want to tell me. If youâre ready. Or even semi-ready.â
Her brows lifted in a weary little archâthe kind she gave him whenever he was being simultaneously charming and inelegant. He took it as permission to keep going.
âIâm not prying,â he lied, poorly. âJust⊠nudging. With extremely good intentions.â
âItâs not about you,â she said, glancing sideways at him.
âYes. Good. I meanânot good that itâs something else, butâwell. You know.â
âI do.â
She stared at her knees for a long moment. Then lifted her gaze to the lake again, briefly.
âIt scared you,â he said, quieter now. âWhatever it was.â That scared him.
âIt's difficult. I don't talk about it, but...â
Emma sighed. He turned toward her fully.
âWhen I was young, in the Frostbacks⊠We followed the high paths in summer.â
ââyou're Avvar.â He hadnât expected that. It explained thingsâher instincts about spirits, the focus beneath her fear and the steel beneath her calm. He couldn't believe he didn't see it before.
âI was. Not a large hold. No stone walls, no banner, nor a name worth songs. Just terraces and cairns. A place we claimed for generations.â
âThat year the melt came early. Too much sun, then a storm. The ice above the pass cracked. Not loudly. Just⊠gave way. It came down. Ice, rock, whole trees. All of us were already on the path.â
She swallowed.
âThe mountain decided we were done.â
Oh, Maker.
âEmma,â he said softly.
âIt swept everything and everyone away. It...happened so fast.â
His arm went around her shoulder and she leaned into himâactually leanedâand suddenly he couldn't breathe. This was the first time. The first time he'd been this close to her, and still. Not carrying or steadying her because she was too injured to stand. Not ducking her behind his shield with darkspawn bearing down on them. The first time it wasn't brief and terrified and over before he could process it.
This was different. This was her choosing to be held.
Part of him fought the urge to run away from this. Part of him wanted to never move again. All of him was acutely aware that she was trembling and he had no idea what to do with his other hand.
Her tragedy was unbearable. Her trust was euphoric. The combination was going to kill him.
She stared down at her palm, willing it still.
After a long moment, she exhaled shakily, reminding him to also.
âI didnât think youâd want to know,â she said.
âAre you joking? There is nothing about you I donât want to know.â He decided not to put his foot in his mouth, not this time.
She folded her knees and shifted into him, hugging his waist. His other arm wrapped around her, pulling her close.
âWell, nobody understood why we all drowned, but I lived. I mean, magic, obviously.â
She said it so lightly. Her voice resonated in his chest.
âExcept I hardly knew any, and there were elder mages. It didn't make any sense. The Chantry questioned me for days... I think they suspected I caused the flood. Or...â she trailed off.
âI know you didnât survive because you did something wrong,â he said, voice steady, so sure about something he couldn't know.
âIt's possible. I don't know.â
âWhatever happened, you fought to stay alive. Anyone would've done the same.â
âSure... and I was young. So they sent me to the Circle, like any other mage.â
âEm... Iâm so sorry.â
âDon't be. It was... surprisingly easy, The tower⊠it let me forget. Or ignore it. I dreamed about it, sometimes...â
âAnd now that youâre out hereâŠâ
âNow, I know I cannot cope with a natural body of water. Embarrassing, really.â
âFor what itâs worth,â Alistair added, trying for lightness but cracking in the middle, âif Iâd gone through anything remotely like that, Iâd probably still be hiding in a broom closet.â
âYou wouldnât.â
âAbsolutely would,â he insisted.
âLiar,â she pushed back.
âHere,â he said, pulling the rose from a leather bundle protecting it, tilting its face towards her. âLook at this. Do you know what this is?â
Emma hadnât seen a living flower since before leaving the Tower. She touched a petal, tentatively, then pulled back. For a moment he thought she might refuse... but she pretended she'd cut herself on a blade.
âYour new weapon of choice?â
He took eagerly took advantage of her opening.
âYes, that's right. Watch as I thrash our enemies with the mighty power of floral arrangements! Feel my thorns, darkspawn! I will overpower you with my rosy scent!â He paused, his smile turning sheepish. âOr, you know, it could be just a rose. I know that's pretty dull in comparison.â
âSentiment can be a potent weapon.â Emma looked up at him with those dark eyes, which in twilight seemed all pupil and no iris, deeply absorbing as if possessing their own gravity... Oh, if he didn't speak now, he'd never...
âThat obvious, am I? I guess I shouldn't be surprised... I picked it in Lothering.â
Emma recalled the doomed town, and by the highway, hearing of Leliana's dreamâShe pushed the thought aside. Whatever it meant, it could wait.
Alistair studied her, uncertain. She was even as ever. He hoped that was good.
âI remember thinking how strange it was,â he said, âthat something so beautiful could grow in a place so full of despair. I shouldâve left it, but I couldnât. The darkspawn were coming. It would have been destroyed. So I kept it.â
The rose trembled slightly as he extended it toward her.
âI thought I might give it to you, actually.â She reached for it. This was going well.
âIn a lot of ways, I think the same thing when I look at you.â Her fingertips brushed his palm, traced his knuckles. Deliberately.
He was used to armor, steel, and callouses. Emma was unlike any of that; although impossibly soft, her touch may as well have been a lightning bolt, bridging them with a crack of intensity. He went very still, pulse hammering visibly at his throat.
âYou think of me as a gentle flower?â She withdrew, reaching past him to pinch the stem of the rose instead.
âA gentle flower? No... I don't know that I'd put it that way. I guess it's a bit silly, isn't it?â He kept talking, despite suddenly feeling remote.
âHere I am, doing all this complaining⊠and you havenât exactly been having a good time of it yourselfâŠYou've had none of the good experiences of being a Grey Warden since your Joining. Not a word of thanks or congratulations. It's all been death and fighting and tragedy, and I realized...â
He hadnât realized. Heâd procrastinated. He was afraid to say it, like he may have made a mistake, unlikely as it now seemed.
âI've never even thanked you. For staying and not walking away when you had every reason to.â
Emma looked down at the rose, turning it slowly.
Emma: âYou know I thought about it. Duncan didn't give me a choice. But you⊠He freed you. And it meant I got to know you.â
He wasn't prepared for that. It took a moment for his head to catch up to his stillâwild beating heart.
âI just wanted to tell you,â he said, âthat youâre a rare and wonderful thing to find in all this darkness.â
âSo⊠are we a thing now?â
He barked a laugh. âHa. Please. You donât catch me that easily. I know Iâm quite the prize, after all... I guess it was just a stupid impulse. I don't know. Was it the wrong one?â
âNo. Thanks, Alistair.â
Alistair felt an internal convolution loosen breathlessly. He wished to say something clever, warm, anything. But if he kept going much furtherâ
âIâm glad you like it. Now, if we could just skip the awkward embarrassing part and jump straight to the steamy bits, thatâd be great.â
âHe might say something foolish and insincere, like that.
âAlright,â she said flatly, unsure what he'd do. âClothes off.â
âBluff called! Damn!â He laughed, running a hand through his hair. âMakerâsâ youâre cruel. Absolutely ruthless.â
âYouâre cute when youâre bashful.â
âIâll beââ he choked on his own fluster ââstanding over here. Until the blushing stops. For safety. You know how it is.â